Category Archives: Old School Role-playing

Bar Nowhere for Death is the New Pink by Gennifer Bone

One of the many projects that I am currently working on is a Death is the New Pink zine (that will come out whenever I plan on releasing)- total punk rock-style!

Note: There’s a killer character sheet for DitNP here.

When I was writing stuff for a DitNP session I was listening to Lone Digger by Caravan Palace (see the video below) and dug the feel of it for a glitzy dive bar.  Also I was watching season 1 and 2 of Killjoys.  I love the character, Pree.  He’s funny and rambunctious and a badass.

I wanted to steal that zest for the bartender/owner for my DitNP location.

Pree

Pree was a big inspiration for the character.

 

Anyways, when I decided to start writing the first issue of the zine, I wanted to include the bar.  I also wanted to make the character transgender.

Instead of me writing a transgender character, being a straight white CIS male, I wanted to hire the awesome Gennifer Bone to do so!

So here is her art and words!  Enjoy!

Bar Nowhere

Bar FINAL

Siouxsie Khan by Gennifer Bone

 

On the outskirts of Scratchtown, hugging the wall that separate the dangerous wilderness of the Wasted World from the “civilization”, you can find Bar Nowhere. Built within the shell of a concrete dome, the Bar has no sign, though you can always identify the place by the garish neon light shining through the single window. Bar Nowhere is typical for a Wastlands pub- a bar, some chairs, a smattering of scrounged and home-brewed hootch. An old jukebox plays eccletic tunes. It’s the lady behind the counter, backlight by the huge “Bar” sign, that makes Bar Nowhere different.

She’s a tall, strong woman of Asian desent. She’s never seen without perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect clothes, and her signature pipe. She’s Siouxsie Khan. A smart and well-connected woman, she’s known for either having the info you need, or knowing who to talk to to get it. A pleasant, charismatic sort, Siouxsie is a consumate bartender. She turns down any propostions with a wink and a smile.

Some newcomers stare at her broad shoulders, or comment on her deep voice. These newcomers get one warning- “Siouxise Khan is who and what she says she is.” Continuing to comment (or worse, laugh) is trouble- she’s an excellent fighter, backed up by the Clairance, the bouncer. (A huge man wearing a metal mask, who rarely speaks)

Siouxsie only talks about her trans*(MtF) status with people she trusts.

Siouxsie runs a good bar, a peaceful bar. All the locals know that Bar Nowhere is neutral ground- no fighting. One time, a trio of bandits decided to throw down in Siouxsie’s place. With a press of a button, they were ripped apart by drone guns hidden in the walls. Then she had their friends clean up the mess.

 

As the local’s say, “Nowhere’s like Nowhere”.

 

Hooks and Rumors

1) Siouxsie Khan has decided that she’s ready to match her body to her identity. The Meat Bags are hired to travel to a far Medical Research Lab, to retrieve a robot device- the Bio-Remix-Transmographier (B.R.T., or Bert). It has the ability to remake any living thing, so changing Siouxsie’s physical sex should be easy. The journey will not be easy, and when the Meat Bags finally get their, they will find that Bert, who has the mind and personality of a child, has been using it’s abilities to make “friends”. Some truly gnarly mutants wander the lab.

If sucessful the Meat Bags will be well-compensated, Siouxsie closes the bar for a week for the gender alteration(she won’t look any differet, she likes her looks, after all), and Bert does a brisk business altering Meat Bags for profit(gender alteration is free to select customers).

2) Nobody knows how Siouxsie gets her infomation- she rarely leaves Bar Nowhere. There are a few who would pay well for her secret. (Her secret is a military-grade radio\descrambler and spy drone comp in a chamber deep below the bar)

3) A persistant rumor claims that Bar Nowhere sits above an underground military bunker, full of weapons and supplies! (Looks to be true, but the way in behind the Radio Room was blocked off by a cave in years ago)

4) Siouxsie loves gifts. Meat Bags may want to search the ruins for a suitable gift, or are hired to find one. (she loves beauty supplies and fine dresses, both a rarity in the Wastes). She is willing to trade valuable information for quality goods.

5) Siouxsie’s estranged family have come calling! A ruthless, well-organized band has appeared, demanding that she “return home, and cease this shameful life”. Naturally, her allies rally to her defence- This looks like all-out war! Meat Bags may be hired by Siouxsie, to protect the bar, or by the Khan family, to assult it. They may even be called upon to mediate between the two parties!

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The First Gathox Vertical Slum Module is Out! Beware of QUAKE ALLEY MAYHEM!!

David Lewis Johnson put on his mad cap and turned the metal up to 11 for the first module for Gathox Vertical Slum through DIY RPG Productions!

Fuck he even did a video!

Oh and I did a blood ritual and was summoned the talented and snuggly Matt Hildebrand to shred out the layout on this beast!

And lo’ there was QUAKE ALLEY MAYHEM!

Note: Currently the book is only available in PDF form.  We are waiting to hear back on the recent submission to OBS.  Anyone who purchases the PDF will receive an email through Drivethru with the option to get the POD at the bundle price when its released!

GVS2 master cover art.png

 

Here’s a lil info on the adventure!

Enter a seedy underworld of alien hyper-capitalists and wondrous ancient artifacts with Quake Alley Mayhem! 
This murderous, misshapen module foists a host of traps, puzzles, and environmental hazards upon unsuspecting players in a race against time. Structured for both tournament and campaign play, Quake Alley Mayhem! includes pregenerated characters, supplements to track the party’s progress and impending doom, and hooks to fit the adventure into a larger campaign.Designed for 3 to 6 players of levels 1 – 3 for Gathox Vertical Slum.

 
QUOTES FROM REVIEWS
“The thing I really dig about this module, is there are no rooms in it that are empty.  Every room has a chance for roleplay, a fight, and or a deadly trap.  In other words this isn’t a vanilla dungeon with safe words!” – Shane Ward, 3 Toadstools Publishing
“If you enjoyed Gathox Vertical Slum then you need to get this product. Quake Alley Mayhem is a fun adventure to unleash at a con to show people how wild and crazy adventuring in Gathox can be.” – Brutorz Bill, Green Skeleton Gaming Guild
“The gonzo setting and weird gangs gives the whole enterprise a Heavy Metal magazine feel, or at least a Heavy Metal gloss on a grindhouse film. It’s a very fitting approach and a strong answer to the question “what do you do with Gathox?”” – Trey Causey, From the Sorcerer’s Skull
“Quake Alley Mayhem is compact and punchy. Every room in the dungeon contains something of interest, such as a trap, puzzle, enemy, or all of the above. As was the case with Gathox Vertical Slum, the writing quality is descriptive without being verbose, and appropriately weird for the setting. The artwork is sketchy, grimy, and punk as hell – perfect for the tone of the book. There’s just enough to get the imagination flowing without feeling like it’s just there to take up space between the text sections. Overall, the quality of the book, both writing and illustration, is top notch, and there’s enough to feel substantial for a small tournament module.” – Jesse Goldshear, Yenemvelt: Another World
Let’s see some tasty layout and art!
GVS_QuakeAlleyMayhem_10-11
GVS_QuakeAlleyMayhem_9
GVS_QuakeAlleyMayhem_20
GVS_QuakeAlleyMayhem_16-17a
Oh and we have a character sheet on Drivethru as well!
GVS2 character sheet

The Spellsword Class for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth

Work still continues with Matt Hildebrand and myself on Barbarians of the Ruined Earth (cover art here).  I’m compiling all the needed art (yay) and will start reaching out to peeps who I’ve eyed for this project in the very near future.

I’ve started writing a supplement for the book (as this will take time to do).  I’ll have some new races, house rules, monsters, Sorcerer-fiends, packed into this baddy!

Last time I mentioned this project I wrote about the Armadite race.  Today I want to talk about the Spellsword.  I wanted to take inspiration from the Arcane Trickster and Grey Mouser.

SPELLSWORD

Spellswords are a motely lot with the unique ability to wield a small amount of magic to create illusionary effects.  Spellswords tend to be cocky opportunists that use their abilities to distract, beguile, and rob to support their hedonistic lifestyle (or just for the thrill).

“I’ve been given a great gift and it would be negligent of me if I didn’t use it to better my station in life, right?  A trinket here, a bauble there, a weapon, an heirloom, or maybe a few ceramic coins- things nobody will miss, but to me there are much more valuable.” 

Art 1

Art by Fragoulis Garoufalis and not for BotRE

 

Starting HP: 1d8+4

Hit Points Per Level/Resting: 1d8 HP/lvl

Weapon and Armor: Light and Medium Armor, All Shields, All Swords, All Bows, Daggers, and Crossbows

Weapon Damage: 1d6/1d4 Unarmed or Improvised

 

SPECIAL FEATURES

 

Agile: The Spellsword rolls with Advantage when testing DEX to avoid damage or effects from traps and magical devices. They also roll with Advantage when performing delicate tasks, climbing, hearing sounds, moving silently, understanding written languages and opening locks.

 

Sneaky Bastard: The Spellsword knows how to hide and move quietly.  They roll with Advantage when attacking from behind and deal 2d6/2d4+the Spellsword’s level damage.

Art 2

Art found here and not for BotRE

Magical Trickery: The Spellsword, whether it is intellectual prowess, sheer moxie, or having some Sorcerer’s blood in their heritage, can use a small amount of magic to cast illusionary effects.  The Spellsword can create illusionary objects, create small sources of light, cause noises to issue up to 60’ away, create small illusionary objects, imitate another person’s voice (the Spellsword must have heard this voice for more than a few quick words), levitate objects, cause small gusts of wind to douse candles or torches, etc.  Most effects are instantaneous or last a number of rounds equal to the Spellsword’s level +1.  Targets that are allowed a save must test their WIS to disbelieve the illusion.

The Spellsword must successfully test their CHR to summon forth the effort of the desired effect.  The player describes what they wish to accomplish and through discussion with the GM they determine if it is acceptable or not.   A Spellsword can use this ability a number of times equal to their level +1.

At 2nd level the Spellsword’s magical ability grows and they can make themselves invisible as per the spell (BotRE, pg XX).

At 3rd level the Spellsword’s ability to use illusionary effects becomes greater.  They can conjure images of people or animals, terrain (such as a pit or quicksand), etc. to fool or throw off their adversaries.

At 5rd level the Spellsword can use their magical ability to manipulate complex objects like picking locks and disarming traps up to 30’ away. This requires a DEX roll to see if the Spellsword can successfully do this.  They do not receive Advantage granted by the Agile ability.

At 7th level the Spellsword is able to teleport themselves and another person up to 100’ away.  The CHR test is made with Disadvantage when attempting to perform this bit of magic.

Martial Prowess:  Spellswords are a cocky lot, but they have had to learn to defend themselves with a blade.  Each successful attack a Spellsword makes grants +1 to damage.  This resets after each fight.

Leveling Up:

Roll all Attributes to see if they increase, roll twice for DEX or CHR

 

STARTING EQUIPMENT

WEAPONS*: Dagger and CHOOSE ONE: Short bow, crossbow, or short sword

ARMOR: Light Leather (1 RP)

ADDITIONAL ITEMS: Ammo for ranged weapon if taken, rations (d6), waterskin (d6), bedroll, torches x6 (d6), and healing salve (1 HD of HP restored).

*All starting weapons are made of wood, bone, or stone. For each weapon, there is a 15% chance it is made of metal (i.e., the arrowheads, the sword blade, etc.).

INTERESTING TRINKET (roll 1d6): 1) A golden ring you filched from a Sorcerer; 2) A silver dagger that belonged to your mentor; 3) A strand your dead lover’s hair in a locket; 4) A piece of Ancient Earth tech called a “pocket watch” – it still works!; 5) A hand crossbow given to you by your father; 6) A small jade idol- the spoils of your first big theft.

LIFE EVENT (roll 1d8): 1) You were a slave and escaped; 2) Your family was captured by a band of snakemen and sold into slavery; 3) Your sister was sacrificed by a cult in some dark right to a malevolent cosmic being; 4) You used your ability with illusions to get revenge on a bully in your village; 5) You traveled around with a Barbarian with a beautiful voice for several years; 6) You ventured into the ancient burial ruins of a cursed hero and returned with riches; 7) You were cast out from your village after you hoodwinked the village elder out of money; 8) You traveled with a band of circus performers for a few years, using your illusions to entertain (and steal when no one was watching).


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth- Session Three- The Fight for the Dark Orb, Part 2

When we last left our band of heroes that had just fought a giant mud crab and became depressed by grey snow before making it to the failed human village of Laundr-O-Mat.

Players

Omar- “Tip Toe” Tyron Thompson- Scavenger

Shoe- Medallion- Armadite

Coley- Coleesi- Barbarian

Brian- Sok- Armadillo Beastman

John- Vinsmoke the Sorcerer (Alt Casting Rules)

Unable to Attend

Gene- Beastman

Liam- Ashak- Death Priest

Kane- Vyvyan- Barbarian

Fletch- Shaw Shir- Vek

The Mysterious Village

The group looked around the dilapidated crumbled ruins of an Ancient Earth Strip mall.  There were signs of habitation from the villagers that disappeared five years ago, shanty shacks set up in the parking lot, rusted cars serving as beds, etc.

Two of the 14 stores remained somewhat intact; the signs read, “adio Sha” and “arbucks”.  The group split up and decided to search around the rubble.

“Tip Toe” and Sok wandered into the “adio sha”, shifting through the rubble they made their way to the backroom.  The discovered an altar with a helmet fashioned from the skull of a bull.  “Tip Toe” and Sok ran back outside to find Vinsmoke so he could do his magic thing on it.

Bull Skull

The Helm of the Charging Bull

Vinsmoke was out in the parking lot and decided to use his abilities to sense magic.  He felt a strong magic from a crumbled brick building.  A strange wooden “T” laid on the ground and a broken sigh read, “ouse of esus Chri”.  At the western end of the area, down an Ancient Earth street another crumbled building, possibly once a town hall or community center, another sense of magic filled the air.

The two sources of magic assaulted Vinsmoke’s mind and he lost consciousness.

Medallion wandered in the crumbled buildings and found a bunch of Ancient Earth cooking spices (Shoe’s character loves to cook), including cumin, pepper, salt, garlic, and paprika (all with a d4 Usage Die).  She then started making soup for the group, especially Sok to try and cheer him up.

Coleesi wandered into the “arbucks” and found the skeleton of a barista at the counter, a name badge read, “Hi my name is Bryan M.  How can I help you?”

While in the building Coleesi found a storeroom filled with goods.  She found:

  • Dryer doors x6 (acts as a small shield)
  • Exoskeleton armor (heavy, 3 RP)
  • Lantern
  • Oil x10
  • Shovel
  • Rope (50′)
  • Arrows (1d10)
  • Short spear (metal) x2
  • Short sword (bone) x2
  • Maul, two-handed (metal) x1
  • 1d100+10 Ceramic coins (green for Tygham the Fearless, ruler of the Swamps)
  • 1d20 gold clay coins (Int roll to know this comes from Skullator the Deathless, ruler of the East.

The group divided up the spoils.

Aside: When the group split up, I stated that all their searching and shit would take place over an hour.  

The group all met back outside, Vinsmoke regaining consciousness and wiping a small amount of blood from his nose.  Medallion bringing large pot of ramen noodles.

As the sunset (it’s 6PM after all), a blast of black and grey energy and white light is seen from the rubble of the church.  The group is scared by this display of magic and
“Tip Toe” grabbed Vinsmoke, “Come with me!  There’s a helmet in this place and I wanna know what it is!  That magic over there- fuck that shit!”

All the group decided to join the two.  As “Tip Toe” and Vinsmoke got close to the building, the hair on Coleesi’s neck stood on end and she heard the soft moans of something nearby.  Suddenly sounds, almost like Velcro slowly being pulled apart, met their ears.  Only Coleesi saw three shades appearing on the ground and move slowly towards their prey.

One went after “Tip Toe”, another after Vinsmoke, and the third after Coleesi.

Shade Monster

This fight was really fun and jarred them a little bit.  They started getting smacked and when I said, “you lose 100 XP” they freaked and the fight became that much more tense.  Vinsmoke was dropped during the fight, but with the use of a healing salve, he was saved.

Shade Apparition

HD 2; RP 1; Claws (2d4 damage), SV 6

Description: Wispy humanoid creature that moans and hates you.

Special: Ethereal: Half damage except from magic.

Draining Attack: 1st attack- save or stunned for 1 round.

2nd attack- Save or stunned for 1d4 rounds.

3rd attack- Lose 100 XP

4th attack+- Lose 100 XP and stunned for 1 round.

* If the Shade critically succeeds skip to the next attack level.

Dark Fog: Release a rancid smelling fog in a 15’ radius.  All attacks against Shade are made with Disadvantage as is dodging their attacks.  Last 1 round.  Can do this once per hour.

The group went into the “adio Sha” and Vinsmoke used his remaining magic to identify the bull skull helmet.

Helmet of the Charging Bull: The wearer can charge at a target as a full action.  The wearer rolls a STR test with Disadvantage.  If successful, they roll 2d10 damage.

The group decided to go to the end of the street where Vinsmoke sensed the other indication of magic (they wanted to give the church and the grey and black lights a wide berth).

 

As the group got closer to the ruins of the building they saw a figure wearing darkened leather armor slumped against the wall.  A sword near the figure’s right hand, a shield near the left.

Aside: Coly had her character in the lead. I asked her what she did.  She asked if there was a rock nearby and if she was allowed to throw it to see if it did anything.  Coley is relatively new to RPGing, having done it a total of four times (I think).  I said “Fuck yeah you can do that!  OSR shit right there, peeps!  Dove right in like a champion!”

Coleesi threw a rock, but it went right and dinged off the wall to no effect.   Feeling nothing as going to happen, the group moved forward.  The moment they stepped into the ruined structure a ring purple light filled the area and flashed bright.  The figure lifted his head, his eyes glowing red.  His face desiccated and rotten.  The group watched frozen as the figure stood up and pointed at them, “SUFFER WITH ME!!!”

The Black Plot

SUUUUUFFFFFEEEERRRR!!!!

This fight was fun and tough.  The undead Barbarian called lighting down onto his blade and started hacking away at group, eventually shooting lighting at his blade at several of them (I think one person went unconscious, but can’t remember).

 

Vinsmoke used a powerful spell to attempt to blow the arms of the undead Barbarian off, he blew the shield arm off at the elbow, but the sword arm remained intact.

After several seconds of fighting, the cursed Barbarian was slain.  As he fell a faint “thank  you” issued from his mouth.  When the dust settled, the group quickly looted his body.

They got a shield (absorbs two blows), the Lightning Blade, and a Teleporter Bracelet.

The Lighting Blade: One-handed broadsword- call lighting to the blade (as a movement action).  Increases the damage of the blade by 1 die.  Can release the lighting at a target within 30′.  Make a DEX roll to hit.  If successful, deal 2d6 damage to target.  The target must save or be stunned for 1 round.  Can do this twice per day.

Teleporter Bracelet: This piece Stupendous Science allows the wearer to teleport up to 100′ away once per day.

 

The session ended with the group shifting through the rubble of the old church, finding the Dark Orb, and then setting off back to Mardi Grass

Next Time: Will the group make it back safely to Mardi Grass?  Will they be able to place the Dark Orb into the hands of the Luminescent Mother?  Find out next time on another adventure of:BotRE Logo!


The Armadite Race for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth

With Matt Hildebrand and myself hard at work on the preliminary layout of Barbarians of the Ruined Earth (cover art here), I’ve started writing a supplement for the book (as this will take time to do).  I’ll have some new races, house rules, monsters, Sorcerer-fiends, packed into this baddy!

The first one that I wanted to do was an insect-type creature.  I always dug the Kreen  in Dark Sun and wanted to do something in that vein.  However, I didn’t want to do a beetle or a praying mantis, because those are in so many different RPG books, so what to do…?  I know…  An anthropomorphic roly-poly!

Here it is, enjoy!

Roly poly

Awwww… Look at how cute it is!!

 

ARMADITE

Armadites are the result of a Stupendous Science accident involving a broken canister of secret ooze and a colony of pill bugs.  These cute little roly-pollys grew into 7’ anthropomorphic creatures.  As the ages passed, the creatures named themselves Armadites, honoring their scientific Ancient Earth heritage and developed a proud warrior shamanistic culture.  Armadites paint their carapace with intricate symbols (some taken from Ancient Earth pop culture or commercials) and revere Terramancers (pg XX).

“Predators seek us, yet we stand resolute.  Raiders attack and we show our resolve. We flow with the wind, move with the earth, and our rage burns like fire.  Our spears are sharp, our armor thick, and our people proud.”

Starting HP: 1d8+4

Hit Points Per Level/Resting: 1d8 HP/lvl

Weapon and Armor: All Shields, Clubs, Swords, Maces, Spears, Axes, and Bows.

Weapon Damage: 1d6/1d4 Unarmed or Improvised

SPECIAL FEATURES

Armored: Armadites have thick chitin armor which gives them hearty protection in combat.  They have 2 RP.

The armor on their back is somewhat thicker, meaning they do not suffer extra damage from sneak/back attacks.

Four-Armed Fighter: Armadites have four arms, they can hold several weapons (or objects) at one time.  They can hold up to four one-handed weapons, two small shields, two two-handed weapons, or a mix of all three.  Large shields are too bulky to hold two at once.

An Armadite can make two attacks per round with ease.

If the Armadite is wielding four one-handed melee weapons they attack with a flurry of four blows against one (or two) targets.  All four attacks are made with Disadvantage.

Rolling Attack: As an invertebrate, Armadites can fold in on themselves, becoming a sphere of their tough chitin armor.  While in this state Armadites can attempt to roll over a target, dealing damage.  They must succeed a Dexterity roll.  If successful, the attack deals 1d10 damage.

While in this form, the Armadite can decide to absorb the damage of a single attack as if a shield were equipped (BotRE, pg XX), but it immediately pops the Armadite out of their ball and they must succeed a WIS save or be stunned for 1 round.

Antenna: The antenna of the Armadite is very sensitive and allows them to detect vibrations.  They make any test against detecting ambushes or hidden foes with Advantage.

Multi-legged: The Armadite can get on all its legs and travel faster than normal, moving up to Not-so-Nearby on their movement or Far Away if they move twice.  Up to two medium sized humanoids can ride on the back of an Armadite.

Leveling Up:

Roll all Attributes to see if they increase, roll twice for STR or DEX

STARTING EQUIPMENT

CHOOSE TWO*: Short spear, short bow, short sword, two-handed sword, axe, mace, or spiked club

ARMOR: None.

ADDITIONAL ITEMS: Ammo for ranged weapon if taken, rations (d6), waterskin (d6), bedroll, torches x6 (d6), and healing salve (1 HD of HP restored).

*All starting weapons are made of wood, bone, or stone. For each weapon, there is a 15% chance it is made of metal (i.e., the arrowheads, the sword blade, etc.).

INTERESTING TRINKET (roll 1d6): 1) A headdress of leather and antlers worn by a kind Ecomancer; 2) A box of Ancient Earth acrylic paints (they are still good!); 3) A leather saddle that fits your back; 4) An Ancient Earth Civil War saber; 5) A gorgeous set of Ancient Earth Russian Dolls; 6) A box of fire crackers (1d8 Usage Die)

LIFE EVENT (roll 1d8): 1) You were a slave and escaped; 2) You were destined to be chief of your village, but were driven out by a rival; 3) Pig Raiders wiped out your village; 4) You encountered a Cosmic Being (choose one, pg XX) and hear its desires; 5) You killed a skilled warrior in a warring Armadite tribe; 6) You were part of a scouting party that helped find your tribes current home; 7) You glimpsed the Horrible Bear Monster (BotRE, pg XX) and lived to tell the tale.  Many of your hunting party weren’t so lucky; 8) Your brood mother was killed and taken in a Vulturefolk (BotRE, pg XX) attack.


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth Just Got Itself a Cover (and a Character Sheet too)

BotRE_Cover_WIP_v5

Matt Hildebrand knocked this motherfucker out of the park!  I really appreciate all his hard work on the whole project!  Matt and I really wanted to convey that Thundarr the Barbarian-type feeling with this and he nailed it!

Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is a fantasy post-apocalyptic setting inspired by Thundarr the Barbarian, Pirates of Dark Water, Mad Max, etc.  It uses a modified version of The Black Hack rules. KICKSTARTER COMING IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!

Matt also designed an awesome character sheet for BotRE!

Here’s the PDF version: BotRE_CharacterSheet_color_v3

BotRE_CharacterSheet_color_pg1BotRE_CharacterSheet_color_pg2

 


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth- Session Two- The Plight of the Gulpmongers

This adventure our group continues their adventure towards the town of Stinky Peat, all believing they are seeking answers on how to defeat the Chimera, but are really traveling to the town so Ashak, who lied to them about what the spirits told him, so he can try the best burger in the swamp.

 

Players

Liam- Ashak- Death Priest

Omar- “Tip Toe” Tyron Thompson- Scavenger

Fletch- Shaw Shir- Vek

Kane- Vyvyan- Barbarian

John- Vinsmoke the Sorcerer (Alt Casting Rules)

Unable to Attend

Gene- Beastman

Barbarian

Kane did this in photoshop.  Inspired by the Young Ones show

 

I’ll I Want is a Stupid Burger

The session begins with the group about to cross the land bridge of Lake Pontchartrain so they can quickly get to Stinky Peat.  As the group set foot on the bridge, the sounds of bodies landing on rusted cars, water splashing, and croaking greeted their ears.

Gulpmongers

The group turned to see 10 frog beastmen had appeared from the waters of the lake, surrounding them.  The frogmen had spears and swords made of wood, bone, and stone.  Some had weapons fashioned from Ancient Earth rubbish.  The heroes drew their weapons, ready to do battle when a deep croaking voice cried out, “Wait…  Do you mean us harm?”

Vyvyan, afraid of nothing, said, “No.  We are on our way to Stinky Peat and needed to use this bridge.  Is it yours?”

“Yes.” Replied the croaking voice.  A large brown hand splashed out of the water, followed by another, then the huge squat head and rotund body of a 10‘ tall toad man lifted from the waters.  Finally, the creature pulled all of itself from the water and landed with a thud on the crumbling concrete.

“The bridge is part of our village.  We are call themselves Gulpmongers.” The toad beastman issued a warbling croak, echoed by the frog beastman.  “I am Mog.  Chief of my people.”

Mog

“You look like you can handle yourselves in a fight.  Might yo–”

“Well that’s debatable.” Said Vinsmoke.

Mog cleaned his throat, “Might  you listen to our plight?”

Mog explain the Gulpmongers have been hunted by a band of raiders.   In the past, the Gulpmongers have always been able to stand toe to toe with the raiders, suffering only minor losses, but since the band moved into an Ancient Earth factory to the southwest of the lake, the Gulpmongers haven’t stood a chance.

“These humans have found new and powerful weaponry and armor.  All of it looks like mirrors.  All our stone arrows and spears bounce off of them uselessly.  Their sharp jagged swords pierce our flesh, and they take my people to be slaughtered or enslaved.”

“If we help you…  what’s in it for us?” Asks the barbarian.

“We have something that will very much interest the village of Mardi Grass and its peoples.  We have an orb that we believe belongs to the Luminescent Mother, a being I believe you all worship.  If you help us, I will give this strange object to you.  It will be considered a symbol of friendship with the Gulpmongers.”

“Annnnnddd some coin?”

The chief looked irritated, “And 500 ceramic coins.  They are white, minted by sorcery of Tygham the Fearless- ruler of the Swamps.”

The group agreed and Mog sweetened the pot by giving the group two Gulpmonger warriors to accompany them.

With that the group turned around and headed to the base of the raiders.

Best Laid Plans + Impatient Banging on Front Door/Bad Rolls = Pain, Bleeding, and Crying

The group made it to the factory, a rectangular two-story building, without incident and saw three raiders outside, moving around patrolling.  All three of the raiders were dispatched quickly, but not exactly quietly.  As the band of heroes approached the front door another raider opened it to see what was going on.   Seeing the heroes walking up the raider shouted, “Oh shit!” and slammed the door.

Vyvyan walked confidently up and banged on the door.  The group then hatched a plan.  Vinsmoke would open the door and Vyvyan would toss in an exploding hedgehog (see below) and that would take care of any raiders laying a trap for them.

This part of the plan went of perfectly.  Vinsmoke opened the door, revealing the faces of three shocked raiders and Vyvyan tossed in this cute lil soon to be exploded hedgehog and shut the door.  An explosion shook the building.

Explosive Hedgehog: These small hedgehogs are flung at a target from a sling.  When they strike, they explode, dealing Class damage to the target.  The explosion is powerful enough to destroy thin wooden walls.

At this point this is when things started to kinda go downhill.  Now COMPLETELY aware of intruders, the raiders fortified their positions and made it harder for them to be killed.  The second in charge, Mr. Mustachio, threw an explosive hedgehog at the group.  Vinsmoke had held his action and acted by casting a spell enveloping the creature and tried to fling it back at the group… and he rolled a 1…  So the hedgehog bounced against the door and landed at their feet… and John rolled a 10 on damage.  BOOM.

Mustachio

Captain Mustachio is gone, but not forgotten!

The group was hurting and barely maintaining from that point on (they also lost their NPC Gulpmongers, attack dogs, and warriors from Mardi Grass).  They all hunkered in a room for an hour, rested, and got a few HP back.

The group took some time to look around the group saw some of the mirror armor and weaponry that the Gulpmongers had described.  The group took a few pieces and set off downstairs.

The sound of a large squeaky wheel echoing off the walls.  The group saw a huge hamster wheel, on it was a rotting undead giant rat (this was Liam’s idea from the collaborative world-building).  The wheel was sparking sickly greenish-yellow electric bolts that traveled along transistors.  Eventually, when enough energy was built up, a loud hum filled the room and with a whoosh the energy traveled down wiring under the ground.

As the group looked around, the leader of the raiders, a dastardly hillbilly Scavenger, 2nd level, lurked in the shadows while the group descended into a large basement. With him were two undead giant rats and his son, a wet-behind-the-ears-raider.

The fight was hard, but not as hard as it could have been.  Ashak used his curse ability and against the leader, causing him to lose several rounds of action.

Curse: The Death Priest must succeed a WIS test to curse a living target. The target is cursed for 1 hour. Each time the character must make a decision roll 1d8: 1-4) do nothing; 5) act normally; 6) attack ally) 7) flee for 1d4 rounds (do not roll during this time); 8) attack self.

When the leader finally acted, he pulled a jagged mirror blade from a scabbard and released a volley of shards of glass at the group, causing heavy damage.  The group pelted the leader with arrows, shotgun blasts, magic, and swords- most of which, even when paralyzed, bounced of off him harmlessly.

“Fools!  This armor and sword were a gift from Shanton, the Sorcerer of Mirrors, for my loyalty!  I cannot be beaten by the likes of  you!”

Eventually he was.  Vyvyan took the sword and someone else took the armor (can’t remember who though).

With the raiders broken, the group made their way back to the Gulpmonger village, retrieved their reward of 400 ceramic coins and the glowing orb.  The group decided, considering how battered and blood they were, to head back to Mardi Grass to recoup.

When the group arrived there was concern at their return and bloodied appearance.  Vinsmoke offered an explanation as the group made their way to the shrine of the Luminescent Mother.  Vyvyan placed the orb in the statue’s hands.  The hands of the statue closed on the orb, then parted.  The orb in the statue’s right hand, the left open and empty.  The statues left eye will glow yellow like the orb.  The right blank stone.

L Mother

The group heard a voice echo softly on the wind.

“You are close.  For I am one- yet two.  You have found the Light Orb.  It is life, love, and health.  Yet I am missing the Dark Orb.  It is death, anger, and decay.   I am the cycle, the beginning and the end.  Find the Dark Orb and I will grant you a gift.”

The group asked if the Luminescent Mother knew where the orb was.

“I sense the Dark Orb lies forgotten in the ruins of a human settlement to the West.”

The group knew of talk of such a village… the ruins of the village Laundr-o-Mat to the west.

This is where we ended for the evening.

Next session the group now has several plot hooks to decide on.  Will the group continue to Stinky Peat to find the best damned burger in the swamps?  Will they attempt to find the Dark Orb in the rancid haunted ruins of Laundr-o-Mat?  Or will they seek information on this Sorcerer of Mirrors?

Find out next time on:

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