Heyyo peeps! I hope you are all doing awesome! I hope you’re well and safe!
First (and FINALLY) http://www.diyrpgproductions.com will take you to my blog. About time I got off my fucking ass and did that! Sheesh…
Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting more pieces of art for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth, including the regular cover by James Hanson!:). I figured this would be a great time to share it with everyone.
Good day peeps! Hope everyone is doing well and kicking ass!
First I have two new tasty Barbarians of the Ruined Art pieces for your viewing pleasure. These two pieces are by James Hanson!
Rhatu the Sorcerer battles against a Blessed Cultist!
Cultist (Blessed) HD 2; RP 1; Dagger (2d4) or Mace (2d4) or Bow (2d4) Description: Cultists are deranged individuals who worship and follow the creed of some sinister being. They care not for the people they harm or lives they take in the service of their dark master. Blessed Cultists have been impregnated with an alien creature; when they die, their heads explode and a barbed spinal cord holds up a blue, pulsating brain and soggy, red eyes. The creature is restored to full health to fight on. Special: Blessed Cultists are immune to mind-altering effects. Hideous: When the creature inside a Blessed Cultist is exposed, its visage is so horrible that attackers must succeed a WIS test to resist running away in fear. Even those that are successful suffer Disadvantage on attack rolls against the creature.
The band of heroes are ambushed by a trio of Giant Lizards!
Giant Lizard HD 2; RP 0; Claws (2d4) or Spiked Tail (2d4) Description: This giant lizard can be found nearly anywhere on the Ruined Earth. It is a keen hunter that is highly patient and will even wait hours before striking. Special: Can climb almost sheer surfaces. Targets attempting to spot a Giant Lizard that is lying in wait suffer Disadvantage to their roll.
The book is looking FANTASTIC! I’m really thrilled with how each artist is adding their voice to the looks and actions of the three heroes! Matt Hildebrand’s layout (and art) is killer and I couldn’t be happier (or more excited) for this fucking book to release.
Session Recap
Quick Summary First
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a session recap! I’ve been focusing on working on my upcoming rules (more on this in a deluge of blog posts, first one will be on Monday) and doing proofs/tweaks to the Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible (a level zero adventure for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth), but I figured it was a good time to do one.
The group was wandering the Western Sands and came across a female Strange One who was badly injured. Before she died she said a different tribe of Strange Ones kidnapped her baby to use in a ritual to summon their god.
Kinda like this guy, but with four compound eyes and hairless.
The group left the body to the desert and went looking for the ritual. After they stumbled across it, they fought valiantly, but were unable to stop the completion. The baby was murdered and the dark god rose from the earth, a 20ft tall Bob’s Big Boy!
My group looked at me like I was crazy when I described what was going on and then showed them this picture… It’s like they don’t know me at all.
The group went to the Strange One’s hidden village in an Ruined Earth Subway station and found out about the war going on between the two tribes. They agreed to help, so the Matriarch snorted some hallucinogens and had a vision of a similar being that could help destroy the Bob’s Big Boy! The heart of the creature was in a strange temple located in the very tunnels they were in. The body was cast aside in a place filled with the refuse and rubbish of the Ruined Earth (a junk yard).
The group spent the next three sessions in a crystalline dungeon fighting their way through shit to get to the heart.
After passing all the trials the group met the Cosmic Being, The Luminescent Mother. She was interested in them, gave them each a power, either from light or dark as she is both, everything and nothing, life and death. She then presented them with the heart! A souped-up motor engine!
We only get to play once a month and there have been more than a few times that we’ve had to cancel, so it’s be a VERY long build to this point. I’m very happy that last night’s session went so well!
In true Saturday Morning Cartoon (and Thundarr) fashion, I nixed the “traveling” portion of the session and the group found themselves standing at the entrance of the Los Angeles Junk Yard. Instead of scouting or investigating the group walked right in and were immediately attacked by a group of gross living booger people (roughly 3 1/2″ tall).
These creatures surrendered quickly after Isosceles the Sorcerer stunned two of them. After a quick conversation the group realized these creatures, who introduced themselves as Gooblins, were just trying to protect their home.
Gooblins are so cute.
The group was taken to Gooblinville and introduced to the chieftain, The Big Booger. The heroes were told that fearsome beasts barred the way from that which they seek. The Big Booger offered the group room and board and they would talk more about the dangers in the morning.
Aside: The group had a blast in Gooblinville. I treated the beings like Smurfs. There was Warrior Gooblin, Angry Gooblin, Sleepy Goolin, Diarrhea Gooblin, you know the normal tropes. The only one that was different was the general store, who I portrayed as Vince Clortho from Ghostbusters- this about broke my players and I had to do the impression several times through the night.
Angie- Isosceles the Sorcerer, Zoom the Death Priest, and Short Round the Urban Urchin decided to go to the tavern, The Spitoon, and drink some Gooblin brew, which ended up being post-apocalyptic Nyquil. Before drinking their brews, Zoom and Short Round snorted some booger crystles they had found in a previous session (the group dubbed these as Sugar Boogers) and gained the ability to permanently speak Gooblin (which is a complicated series of snorts, throat clears, and sniffs). The two also gained the ability to see in the dark for five days and were covered in large painful pustules for the same amount of time.
After snorting the Sugar Boogers, the group drank their Nyquil; Isoceles and Zoom got drowsy, but stayed conscious (and gained 6 temporary hit points), but were very drowsy. Short Round passed out on the bar (and gained 4 temporary hit points). They were all in a stupor, but dammit they could breathe again!
The next morning the group set out to fight some evil, save Gooblinville, and get the body of the godling they needed!
Isosceles the Sorcerer used her magic to transform into a mist and scout ahead. She discovered two hideous creatures in a clearing, the earth charred around them.
She thought, “Demon Dogs!”
Isosceles the Sorcerer returned and explained the peril the group was in. Short Round the Urban Urchin fished through his pack and found his Immun-o-Flame Ointment and smeared it all over his body, pulled out his motorized chainsaw bat, “Let’s rock.”
The group then, forming no plan what-so-ever walked into the clearing to do battle. Initiative was rolled and, appropriately, Short Round went first.
Short Round: I hit the Demon Dog with my chainsaw bat.
Me: Roll for damage.
Short Round: I deal 6 damage.
Me: Ok! You bring your chainsaw bat down on the Demon Dog, there’s a small flash and now there two dogs instead of one.
Short Round: I– wait, what?
Me: Yup.
This fight was beautiful. The group were pouring over their character sheets, Angie and Sami were frantically reading their spells and miracles, they were asking questions, they were engaged, and more importantly… they were afraid. Exactly what I wanted with the Demon Dog.
Demon Dogs HD 3; RP 1; Bite (1d10) Description: Demon Dogs are vicious creatures with ragged fur, bulging red eyes, and long yellowed fangs. These creatures are said to be spawned from the depths of Hell and wander the Ruined Earth looking for hapless prey. A keen adventurer can always tell when they are close to the den of a Demon Dog, for the smell of sulfur is thick upon the air. Special:Flame Breath: Once per day a Demon Dog can spew a ball of flame at a target, dealing 1d8 damage. There is a 1-in-6 chance the target catches fire, taking 1d6 fire damage per round until extinguished. Water Sensitivity: Demon Dogs take an additional 1d6 damage from water/cold magic. Dousing a Demon Dog in a large amount of water also deals 1d6 damage and stuns the creature for 1 round. Submerging a Demon Dog in a river, lake, etc. instantly kills the creature. Split: One reason the Demon Dog is such a terrifying adversary is that any physical damage to the creature causes it to split into two. Both copies have the same HP, which is equal to the remaining HP of the attacked Demon Dog. Magical damage does not cause a Demon Dog to split.
And Then The Fight Got… Gross
So you know you’re doomed when you start the session off with booger people and it’s only a matter of time before that manifests again.
The group tried various attacks from weapons, spells, etc. and were up to six Demon Dogs, finally realizing that water and magic were the only things that harmed the beasts… They were down to two Demon Dogs and ran out of water, so they did what any logical party would do, they began popping the Zoom’s and Short Round’s giant pustules on the Demon Dogs. Finally Angie said Isosceles grew nauseous from this shit going on and threw up on the head of the last Demon Dog. She hit and killed it… Yup, death from vomit on the head. A very epic end to an epic fight!
The Aftermath
The group made their way through the rubbish piles and found their prize. Lying in a rubbish head, with molted, matted grey faux-fur, lay the goddling, a 20ft tall animatronic Chuck E Cheese!
Then the ground started rumbling and bags of garbage, junks of cars, and several old washer/dryers coalesced into a 15′ tall Animated Trash Man! The monster let out a roar and the group of heroes drew their weapons.
And that’s where we ended for the night!
We probably have one more session remaining before this arc concludes and we retire from playing Barbarians for awhile. We’ve been playing for over a year now and it’s been a blast, but I need to start playtesting my new rules to see if they work and/or are fun!
As I stated on the KS, thank you to everyone for spreading the word, support, excitement, etc.! Thanks to everyone who’s been tuning in to this blog for the nearly three years I’ve been posting about this shit.
Post-kickstarter art commissions have gone out while I’ve been tweaking the Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible so that can go to proofing. Matt and I have been discussing various layout options as the adventure has been written in a non-traditional manner for RPGs, so we’ll see where that takes us.
Anyways- let’s get to the good stuff… NEW ART!
Here is the variant cover (exclusive to backers until Gen Con 2020), sans title, by JV West.
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Here are two new pieces by the awesome Sam Mameli!
Beware the stealthy attacks of the Fungal Assassins!
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Behold the damage wrought by a Giant Praying Mantis
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Here are four new pieces by JV West!
Zora the Barbarian yawns as Rhatu explain the how exactly a talon is not a cellphone… mean while Atook the Beastman spots something delicious that needs investigating.
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Rhatu the Sorcerer observes a golden ceramic coin from the realm of Skullator the Deathless.
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Earth… over 2,000 years from now.
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The Ant Queen holds audience over her kingdom, her loyal Ant Warriors stand at attention by her side.
Orcs is the fourth stretch goal ($4k away from it as of writing this) for the Barbarians of the Ruined Earth Kickstarter (I talked about the second and third stretch goal in a post the other day)! I’ve ran this adventure at Gen Con for three years now and every time, everyone has a deadly, but fun time.:)
Orcs does not use a map and instead took inspiration from Zzarchov’s Scenic Dunnsmouth (published by Lamentations of the Flame Princess) and uses a deck of playing cards to generate the map. Many of the rooms have random events that occur after the group enters it, keeping the players on their toes because the unexpected could always happen 🙂
The adventure also features a new class for Hubris and DCC: The Gunslinger! The last two sample spreads have all the class information, for those who are interested.
Here is a snippet from the intro of the book:
Introduction
Orc! A High Octane Adventure! is inspired by Mad Max: Fury Road and Snowpiercer movies and the Gears of War video games. The adventure is designed for four to six 3rd-level characters set in the Hubris: A World of Visceral Adventure campaign setting but can be used with other DCC settings (or OSR campaigns) as well with some tweaking of the locations and names. The adventure is fast paced, with deadly combat encounters with orcs and their alchemically altered abominations.
There is no set map. Instead the Judge will draw a set number of playing cards and consult the card description contained in the adventure to determine the order of cars and events (and create their map).
Background
The Black Queen rests upon her throne of bones in her fortress on the Floating Island of Terror. As she satiates herself on the nightmares of her subjects, her desire for power grows. As the Hubris becomes increasingly reliant on her marvelous technology, her ability to weave herself deeper into a kingdom’s local politics, extending her network of spies, assassins, manipulating pawns, and demanding higher prices for her goods.
Over time a railway between the kingdoms of Hubris and the Kelisk in the Land of Perpetual Stone and Mire has been constructed, allowing for goods to quickly reach their destinations and people to travel between kingdoms easily and with less danger (usually). This adventure begins with the train traveling from Fairweather (Hubris, pg 102) in the Great Plains of Unbidden Sorrow to Kelisk (Hubris, pg 120) in the Land of Perpetual Stone and Mire. The promise of efficiency and safety which is constantly touted as a sure thing due to this technological wonder is quickly shattered when a large orc raiding band attacks the train, turning the leisurely ride into a savage blood bath. This is not an adventure where the party can hunker down, create a defensive position, and wait it out. Attempting to do that will surely result in their capture or death. There is no rest. There is no reprieve. There is only the surety of battle, the onslaught of the enemy, and the taste of blood.
Winning the Adventure
Are there really any winners in Hubris…? Well, that’s for each Judge to decide! However, the goal of completing this adventure is to get to the front of the train, take over the engine car and defeat the Big Bad Monster.
Other Bits and Bauble
At the end of the adventure there is a small section to generate random events throughout the adventure, a table to generate events should the group decide to clamber onto the roof of the cars, and suggestions on what to do should the group abandon the train (and the adventure) and attempt to escape on foot.
There is a list of special new bullets for wheellock weaponry that can be created by an Alchemist through Alchemical Tinkering (Hubris, pg 15) and finally a new class for DCC and Hubris: The Gunslinger!
Second- We are currently hovering near the $9k mark- only $500 away from the next stretch goal!
SECOND STRETCH GOAL $9,500: The Slaves Mines of Vindicus the Terrible! A level zero adventure by Mike Evans for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. More info will be forthcoming about the adventure, its release date will be forthcoming should stretch goal be reached.Note that all backers of “A Death Priest’s Whisper” and above will receive the PDF if unlocked.
I ran this a couple times at Gen Con this year as well as my home group(s) and everyone seems to have a great time. The premise is simple and easy (from the intro):
The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible takes its inspiration from the 1980s and early 1990s Saturday morning cartoons with a splash of the mine scenes in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It is meant to be over the top cheesy, action-packed, and fun (well hopefully). In this adventure, the players each take on the roles of four children that have been captured by the agents of Vindicus, a cruel Sorcerer, and have been forced to toil tirelessly in the mines below his fortress.
The adventure begins when heroes unknown raid Vindicus’ fortress and inadvertently set the captives held in the mines free. Chaos ensues and the players must use their cunning to survive and make it out of the mines to freedom. As the player characters (PCs) are inexperienced children (or young teens), they will most likely not win in a straight on fight against the robots that guard the corridors of the mines. Maybe they’ll get lucky against one or two, but possibly take heavy casualties in the process. The group will need hide, plan, scheme, run, climb, and use the environment to sneak past the guards and get out of the dungeon.
This adventure, mechanically and thematically, is inspired by the character funnel from Dungeon Crawl Classics by Goodman Games. If you are familiar with DCC, you’ll feel right at home here. If not, totally ok! It’s super easy and fun! The players each control the actions of four level zero PCs with most of the rules outlined in Barbarians of the Ruined Earth (pg XX-XX) functioning normally with only a few exceptions which will be explained below. During combat, on their initiative, the player can choose to have any number of their PCs act, taking a movement and action each. When a PC is reduced to zero HP, there is no rolling on the Out of Action Table (Barbarians, pg XX). They are immediately removed from play (see Zero HP, pg XX).
Aside: Seriously, I highly recommend scoping out Dungeon Crawl Classics (it’s fun as hell) and the level zero funnel. Sailors of the Starless Sea by Harley Stroh is a perfect place to start. Here’s some links to where you can find these tasty books:
Rather than making characters or even rolling four level zero characters as per DCC rules, each player controls four humans (with a small chance of being a race), and has 4 HP. There are no stats to roll- instead there is a very simple mechanic called “Kid’s Luck.”
Kid’s Luck When performing an action or making a test, the player rolls 1d20. A result of 1-10 is a success whereas 11-20 is a failure. When a character is attacking creatures that are larger than them (which is pretty much everything- each monster indicates if it’s larger than the child for ease), they suffer Disadvantage to their rolls. Characters do not suffer Disadvantage when defending against attacks. Since the characters are small (they are children after all) they make tests to hide from opponents with Advantage.
The third stretch goal isn’t far off either at $10,500! A gorgeous map by none other than Kelvin “the sexy man” Green!
THIRD STRETCH GOAL $10,500: Poster map (18″ x 24″) of the United States by Kelvin Green highlighting the territories of the eight power Sorcerer’s who rule this broken and twisted land. Kelvin will make the map in similar fashion as the Western Sands illustration (see below).
Tygham the Fearless – Ruler of the Swamps
The Ice Emperor – Ruler of the Frozen North
Vyconia the Rapturous – Ruler of the South
Technodabbler the Artificial
Mazmogar the Ignominious – Ruler of the Blighted Lands
Skullator the Deathless – Ruler of the East
Helenoythious the Powerful – Ruler of the West
Octagon the Calculating – Ruler of the Lands Below
The backside will have some charts and tables for the GM to use as the players adventure across the destroyed ruins of the United States.
Note: All backers will receive a high resolution jpeg/pdf of the map. Details about physical copies will be forthcoming if this stretch goal is reached.
The Western Sands Map
I’ll be sharing more info on the Orcs! A High-octane Adventure over the next day or so!
A Video
A few weeks ago I did a small video showing the current proofs of the book, highlighting the colors, layout, art, etc. so please free to take a gander!:)
Oh man! I’m thrilled this motherfucker has funded! Barbarians of the Ruined Earth is a go!
We still have 26 days to go on the Kickstarter and as of writing this blog post we are only $700 away from the first stretch goal- a fully illustrated bestiary!
If you know someone who would enjoy a zany, weird science-fantasy game inspired by Thundarr the Barbarian, Mad Max: Fury Road, and Pirates of Dark Water- by all means spread the word as it is greatly appreciated.
What ARE the Stretch Goals?
$7,000- Fully illustrated bestiary!
$9,500- Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible- a level zero module for Barbarians of the Ruined Earth by Mike Evans!
$10,500- A poster-sized map of the Ruined Earth United States by Kelvin Green!
$13,000- Orcs! A High-octane Adventure! A 3rd level module for Hubris: A World of Visceral Adventure by Mike Evans
$40,500- A Saturday morning cartoon-style animated intro to Barbarians of the Ruined Earth to show new players to get them into the game right away!
I want to thank everyone who has supported me, DIY RPG Productions, and this Kickstarter!
A HUGE thank you to the people who are working with me on this project! Thanks to Matt Hildebrand for doing amazing layout and always being excited about the project. Thanks to Kelvin Green, Fred Dailey, JV West, David Lewis Johnson, Matt Hildebrand, and Matt Adams for lending their artistic talents for some truly awesome illustrations! Thanks to Ian Richmond for doing proofing. Thanks to Jacob Hurst and Kane Cathain for always talking shop.
Other Fun Positives
I woke up this AM to see this wonderful comment from one of my backers:
” You had me intrigued with the name of the game, sold with the premise and genre, and then you purchased my soul with mention of randomization charts. This is my 20th Kickstarter game backed and I am so happy it is this game!”
If you are still wondering about what Barbarians of the Ruined Earth will look like, here are some layout sample from three of the classes.
