Category Archives: Other Systems

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Six- The Mystery of the Pink Rubber Ducky!

We continue our playtesting of the new Death is the New Pink project I’m working on, Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass.  The group did another romp into the Forever Dungeon.


Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Lives for combat- good at killing things dead and keeps on slicing.

John– Human- Cheshire- Stealthy.  Good at being cautious and grounded.  

Omar- Human- Cleaveland- Needlessly shouts aggressively and states the obvious.

Last session the group had gone after an extremely powerful Doodad in the Whispering Tunnels beneath the streets of Flotsam.  This time they decided to go after the chance of riches and more Doodads in the Forever Dungeon.

The session started with the group figuring out what happened to them in between sessions (Omar found a dead body in an ally way and looted it, finding a few useful items. John gambled and drank, but broke even.  Liam heard a rumor about a powerful witch that lives in an unsettled area of Flotsam.  People know she is near because hundreds of frogs are lurking about the area).

The group restocked needed items and Liam hired a torch boy (had some of the worst stats ever).

The Entrance

Omar lead the way through most of the dungeon, being the meatiest of the Medieval Meat Bags!  There were no traps on the door, so he opened it.

The Room With Three Doors

The group entered and found three doors standing in the middle of the room.  Nothing seemed to be holding these doors up and the Medieval Meat Bags could walk around them and view both sides.  They decided to open the doors.  The door opened and the group saw a a giant pot-bellied goat-headed demon who was staring at sobbing women.  The group became immediately concerned that they were gonna have to deal with this, but weren’t sure if it was real or if they could be seen.  To test the theory Liam pushed the torch boy through the portal.  “Yup.  It’s real.”  He closed the door.



A few moments went by and John decided to open the first door again and saw the poor torch boy on a rack being flayed alive by the sobbing woman as the demon watched, gently rubbing his nipples.  John closed the door, “Well he’s dead.”

Omar opened the middle and saw a wizard with stereotypical wizard clothing on sitting on a throne with a guitar made of an axe.  John and Liam recognized him immediately as the Heavy Metal Wizard!

Heavy Metal Wizard

I have no clue who drew this, but I love it!


The group talked to the wizard through the door and realized that he could hear them, but no see them.  They asked the Heavy Metal Wizard if he knew of a goat-headed demon, “Oh… Orcus is around, eh?  He has a portal in the dungeon that connect with his realm of Hell.  He’s a disgusting sexual deviant and bringer of suffering and waste.  Best avoid him if you can.”

John opened the third door and found the frame bricked up.  They decided was that way for a reason and did not break it open.

The group moved to the east.

HOW: As I’ve mentioned in previous session recaps, the Forever Dungeon is procedurally generated, so I pulled the dungeon tile with three doors on it.  When Liam opened the first door, I asked him to roll a d6 while I shuffled my dungeon tiles and pulled out six.  The result he rolled got the Orcus room.  John rolled a 1d8 and got the Heavy Metal Wizard room.  Since the third door was not opened, no rolling was necessary.

The Pink Rubber Ducky Room

The group entered the room and saw a small pond in the center of the floor.  The vegetation and lily pads around it were all fake (like those you would buy from a craft store) and by the bank was a plastic nest with an Easter egg in it.  Floating in the water was a pink rubber ducky.  It quacked and floated away from the group as a real duck would.


This lil bugger was the star of the session

This lil duckie fucked with  my group.  They were so scared of what this thing might actually be.  The group pondered it for a moment and then decided to push on to the east.

Aside: They later found out that the duckie is actually a Doodad, but guarded by something terrible- more on this later.

Adorable Windup Rubber Duckie Bomb (A.W.R.D.B.): This Mister Quack Quack was designed to distract Nefarious and blow shit up.  Wind it up and let it go.  It’ll walk 30’ and start quacking and doing cute little flips.  Targets within 10’ of the device succeed a MOXY save or stop what they’re doing and walk over to the device.  On the next round the A.W.R.D.B. explodes, dealing 1d12 damage to all in a 10’ radius.  Usable once per day.

The Lever Room

The group entered this chamber and saw that a gnarled staff resting in a display stand in the center of the room.   To the right of the door was a large lever.  Liam pulled it without hesitation.  The constant grinding and humming noise that is constantly in the background of the Forever Dungeon stopped.   Liam was immediately attacked by an anthropomorphic rat creature with bloody skin and clown face paint.  He killed the creature with his scythe before it even had a chance to attack.

HOW: Levers are strange (and possibly dangerous) things in the Forever Dungeon.  Aside from being trapped or guarded by tough Nefarios, levers usually do one of two things 1) stop the dungeon from resetting for 1d4 runs after the current group exits (as it normally rearranges itself upon the Medieval Meat Bags exiting); 2) Instantly causes the dungeon rearrange itself, meaning the group is stuck in there and has to figure their way out.  This time Liam was lucky and the dungeon is stuck in its current layout for 3 runs.  The first of these three will occur with my RL Rochester group on Wednesday.  I am keen to see how this works/fits with the Forever Dungeon design philosophy.

The group decided to give the staff a wide berth, worrying it was of sinister intent and head further east.

The Room of the Living Mole

Aside: Not gonna lie.  I’ve been waiting for this room for a LONG time.  When I was designing Nefarios for Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass, I always ponder what could be the “pink” portion of the piece (if I were to have it illustrated) and I pictured a giant skin mole with large thick pink hairs.  The thought grossed my wife out, so in the book it went!

Living Mole

BAD 10, DSS 10, MOXY NA, HP 20, AP 0


This disgusting creature is a gigantic dismembered growth, roughly 10’ in diameter that undulates and moves slowly on the ground as it secretes a layer of mucus underneath its body while it contracts and undulates its muscle structure, much like a snail.  The mole has five large hairs that gently wave in the wind and snatches unsuspecting prey.  Targets attacked by the mole must succeed a DSS save or become entangled by the hair and begin giggling as the hairs tickle them pink.  An entangled target is moved to rest atop the mole, where it suffers 1d8 damage per round until dead or freed.  A target that suffers critical damage is broken down into a sick-looking foam and fully absorbed by the mole.  The Living Mole is immune to all mind-altering effects.


No… this is not mine… however I DID have to look at too many disgusting pictures of moles to find this one…

The group saw hutch at the eastern end of the room with six vials in it.  Omar moved to investigate and a long pink hair uncoiled from the ceiling and attacked Omar, ensnaring him and tickling him pink.  He was giggling and laughing and couldn’t act.

This fight was fun, but not as deadly as I was hoping thanks to Liam’s quick use of his last vial of Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Princess (see below).  The body of the mole became frozen and unable to move (and unable to break down living tissue), but the hairs could move around and still ensnare people.  The mole was frozen for 9 rounds.  Even with having Advantage on attacks the group had a hell of a time hitting the fucking thing.  Finally killing it when it only had 1 round left.

Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Prince(ss): There once was a spoiled prince(ss) (or maybe he/she was just really sad) and he/she cried and cried and blah blah blah.  Anyways, these tears are magically frozen and when one is thrown at a target they must succeed a BAD save or become frozen for 2d6 rounds.  If the target is at 0 HP and fails their save, they are permanently frozen.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

Omar nabbed the potions and \got a few good ones (I can’t remember what they are as I use a table to generate them on the fly).  With that, the group headed back to the Lever Room and decided to head South.  The door to the southern area shimmered with magical energy.  Liam decided to throw something at the door (it may have been the partially dead parrot he found inside the carcass of the Living Mole, but may not have been).  The moment the item hit the door a cloud of black smoke filled the room, causing all to cough and sputter.  Liam failed his BADassery save and fell unconscious.   Omar pulled out his jug of spoiled milk he got from the infected udder of Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo the magical talking cow from a few session ago and held it under Liam’s nose.  Liam woke up instantly, gagging and sputtering but managed to keep his chow down.

The group headed through the southern door.

The Potion Room

The group entered the room and saw an alchemist’s station at the eastern wall and the body of man in robes on the floor.  The group thought maybe he was knocked unconscious by the same trap as Liam.  Omar put the milk under the man’s nose.  Engorged veins shot out of the man’s nose, like sick nose hairs and wrapped around Omar’s forearm.  The man’s face began to bulge and his skin tore away.  The brain levitated out of the skull, a yellow blinking eye center mass of the frontal lobe.

The fight was difficult as the brain was hard to hit and Omar took several points of damage, including a vicious critical fumble attack by Liam, nearly severing his arm.  Omar used his Doodad, Friendly Symbiotes to heal the damage instantly (expending the Doodad for the day).

Eventually the brain was sliced in half by Liam (Liam killed the clown rat, the mole, and now the brain thing- man he is the Bringer of Death, which is his Muscle Up!).

The group found a few potions and Liam looted the body of the now-brainless man, finding a nice long sword.

The group moved back to the rubber duckie room, pondering it again, and then moved to the west past the room with three doors and into the next room.

Samuel’s Room… Let’s Barter


The room was much larger than any room they had been in before, forested, dirt on the ground, and a camp fire crackling merrily  in the center of the room, which provided a natural clearing.  In the middle of the room was a hooded and robed man.  He coughed and got to his feet and laughed.  He threw open his coat and said, “Well!  What are you buyin’?!”

Aside: Omar got a big kick of my including the merchant from Resident Evil 4 in adventure- but fuck yea!  He was my favorite part of the game!

The group talked to the merchant, who said his name was Samuel and found out some info about the Forever Dungeon and restocked on some supplies.  They also saw a door to the west in the distance and asked what was in there.  Samuel mentioned a drunken dwarf sleeping one off in there.

The group decided to go talk to the dwarf.

The Ale Room

The group found a passed out dwarf sleeping amid barrels of ale.  After waking him up he introduced himself as Grrrr Mustachio.  He is the last survivor of his band.  The group then asked him if he knew anything the pink rubber duckie.  Grrrr’s faced darkened.  His wife Grrrretta was just killed by the terrible guardian in the pond.  “Two hundred feet wide it was!  And two hundred feet tall!  Long tentacle things that ooze sulfuric pus!  Pulled my wife into the pond, it did!”

The group invited Grrr to join them and get revenge against the creature.  Then Liam used his Dwarven Party Helmet AND double fisted the strong ale in the casks to get black out drunk!  The group went back to Flotsam to carouse and we ended there.

Grrrr Mustachio (Dwarf Mercenary, 20 GB/day)

BAD 13, DSS 10, MOXY 12, HP 9


Gear: Bow (1d6), warhammer (1d6), shield, leather armor (AP 1), rations (X5), waterskin, 93 GB.

Race Stuff: Grrrr can see in the dark up to 30’.  Stout: Grrrr is immune to all poisons; Know Stone: Grrrr knows stone and can tell its secrets (MOXY roll with Advantage if roll is needed in a hurry- otherwise automatically succeed); Slayer: The thrill of combat excites Grrrr.  Each successful attack Grrrr makes grants +1 to damage.  Resets after each fight.

Here’s the final dungeon layout for this session


Leveling Up

Liam and John leveled up to Ye Olde Quarter Pounder- each gaining 1d6 HP, attempting to increase their stats, and each gained a Muscle Up!

It was a great session.  I’m excited to see what will happen on Wednesday.

The Graveyard


Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)– “Here lies the Dwarf With No Name,

He done got dissolved by a puddle of goo-

So pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)– “Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)– “No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

The Torch Boy (NPC)

“Oh with torches this boy played

Until he ran across a demon

And got himself flayed…”



The Gunslinger Class for Hubris (and DCC)

This class will be released with the Orcs! A High Octane Adventure (3rd level module) for Hubris.

The Gunslinger

Art is from Darkest Dungeon- Not for Hubris.

Fighters are brutes that hack away at their enemies with swords, axes, and maces.  Thieves prefer small blades and like to strike from the shadows.  Neither fully appreciate the sleek feel and cold efficiency of firearms, but you do.  The heft and weight, the acidic smell of the lit powder, the feel of the kick as a bullet flies from the barrel and lodges itself into the head of your target, blowing out the back of their skull.

No mark is safe from your sights.  They can attempt to run, but they’ll feel the stinging pain of your shot, and the horrible realization of death will greet them as they bleed out, slumped against a wall, the light fades from their eyes.

Your ability to make impossible shots and take out targets with ease makes you highly sought after.  Whether you swear loyalty to a king or army, or pay heed to no one and make your own way killing for coin or just simply the joy of it, your path is what you make it.  And no one will tell you otherwise.


Hit Points: A gunslinger gains 1d8 hit points each level.


Weapon Training: A gunslinger is trained in the following weapons: bolas*, club, crossbow*, dagger, handaxe, short sword, wheellock pistol, and wheellock rifle.  Gunslingers can wear any armor up to chain without suffering accuracy to their shots.  Bulkier armor interferes with their ability to hold and fire a wheellock weapon properly and they suffer the armor’s check penalty to their attacks.


Alignment: Gunslingers tend to be a cocky lot, assured in their use and mastery of wheellock weaponry.  Gunslingers that are loyal to a cause, military organization, or lord tend to be lawful, while those who sell themselves as guns for hire, glory-seekers, or assassins tend to be chaotic.  Very few gunslingers gravitate towards a neutral alignment.


Quick Loader: The gunslinger can reload a wheellock weapon in two rounds instead of the normal three.


Point Blank Shot: A gunslinger can shoot targets with a wheellock pistol without suffering negative modifiers (DCC, pg XX).


Rifle-butt Attack: A gunslinger receives a free attack at a d16 against any creature that comes into melee range if they have a wheellock rifle in their hands.


Sharpshooter: When a gunslinger spends a full round aiming and doing nothing else, their attack is more devastating. If their attack is successful, it deals an additional 1d10 damage.  The threat range for a critical success is increased from 20 to 19-20 when sharpshooting.


Trick Shot: Gunslingers train tirelessly with wheellock weaponry.  They can perform tricky shots that function similarly to a warriors Mighty Deeds ability (DCC, pg 42) ONLY when using wheellock weaponry.  Prior to a shot, a gunslinger can declare a Trick Shot.  The gunslinger’s Trick Shot die determines whether this was successful.  If the Trick Shot Die is a 3 or higher, and the attack lands, the Trick Shot is successful.  If the Trick Shot Die is a 2 or less, or the overall attack fails, the Trick Shot fails as well.  Similar to a Warrior’s Mighty Deeds, the Trick Shot die does factor into a gunslinger’s attack modifier and damage.


Examples of Trick Shots include feats such as:


  • Calling a shot to blast away an object held in an opponent’s hand.
  • Using a shot to snuff out the light of a candle.
  • Shooting a bullet and having it ricochet off a wall and hit a target around the corner.
  • Sliding down a staircase banister and shooting at a target.
  • When fighting enemies that are single-file, shooting a wheellock weapon and having the bullet pass through all of them, dealing damage.

Skeletal Gunrunners from  Hubris- art by David Lewis Johnson


Level Attack Trick Shot Die Crit Die/Table* Action Die Ref Fort Will
1 +1 +d3 1d10/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
2 +2 +d4 1d12/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
3 +3 +d4 1d14/II 1d20 +2 +1 +1
4 +4 +d5 1d16/II 1d20 +2 +2 +1
5 +5 +d6 1d20/II 1d20 +3 +2 +1
6 +6 +d6 1d24/II 1d20+1d14 +4 +2 +2
7 +7 +d8 1d30/II 1d20+1d16 +4 +3 +2
8 +8 +d10 1d30+2/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +2
9 +9 +d10+1 1d30+4/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +3
10 +10 +d10+2 1d30+6/II 1d20+1d20 +6 +4 +3
*The critical success tables can be found in DCC, pg 82-83.



Gunslinger Titles
Level Title
1 Marksman
2 Sharpshooter
3 Sniper
4 Deadeye
5 Master Blaster



Weapon Damage By Class
Class Light Weapon Medium Weapon Heavy Weapon
Gunslinger 1d4 1d6 1d8
This is an optional rule found in Hubris, pg XX.


Gunslinger Starting Equipment

Adventurer gear:

  • Backpack
  • Bedroll
  • Torches x2
  • Rations x5
  • Waterskin
  • Flint and Steel
  • 1 healing potion (1d6+1 HP)
  • Hemp rope (50ft)
  • Adventurer’s Clothing


Gunslingers also start with the following- Studded leather armor, 1 dagger or short sword, a wheellock pistol or rifle (20 shots), and a Black Power with pouch and fuse (Hubris, pg XX).


Starting Gold

As stated in DCC (pg 70) all level 0 characters start with 5d12 copper pieces and the weapon and trade good of their profession.


Class Level 1 Level 2 Level 3
Gunslinger 3d10 3d10 +(1d6x100) 3d10 +(3d6x100)

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Five- Goin’ Doodad Huntin’!

We continue our playtesting of the new Death is the New Pink project I’m working on, Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass.


Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Lives for combat- good at killing things dead and keeps on slicing.


John– Human- Cheshire- Stealthy.  Good at being cautious and grounded.  

Chad– Half-orc- BJ Orc (friends call him Bjorc)- Fights with a big two-handed axe.  

Omar- Human- Cleaveland- Needlessly shouts aggressively and states the obvious.

Coley- Elf- Makes snotty comments about others’ failings.  Has a fabulous pet hawk.  Good with a bow and acrobatic.  

Fletch- Human- Mad Mulligan.  Greatest swordsman who ever lived.  

The Session Begins

Now that we’ve had a few sessions (with both my Rochester group and my online group), I didn’t start them right at the entrance of the Forever Dungeon.  Instead I presented them with several options to pursue.

  1. Another romp in the Forever Dungeon.
  2. Track down the Doodad (The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall) that they were told was in the Whispering Tunnels beneath Flotsam (last session).
  3. Take on a job offered by the halfling gangster, Mr. Laughy Taffy.
  4. Go looking for trouble in Flotsam or out in the Yet-to-be-Wasted World (rolled randomly by me).
  5. Investigate one of the rumors they heard last session (up to them to remember the rumors that spew forth from my face hole).

The group talked for a few minutes while I went and made myself a booze in a glass and decided that they would track down the Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall (the Doodad they were told about last session).

HOW: I didn’t know if/when the group would go after the Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall and I didn’t want to waste too much time prepping something that may never happen.  Soooooo…  Instadungeon time!  I rolled twelve d8s onto a piece of paper and marked the location and the number (pic below).  Then I used a table to generate things for the Forever Dungeon to see what was in those rooms.  The d8 from my favorite set of dice would be where the Doodad would be found.  Then I rolled a d4 for the number of different entrances/exits into the Whispering Tunnels there were in this “section” and got a four.  I then rolled four d4 and moved them each to the nearest location to determine the entrances/exits.

When the session start I had Coley roll 1d4 to see which of the four entrances/exits they started at.

Key for what’s in a room (roll 1d8): 1) Curse; 2) Doodad; 3)n Doors; 4) Event; 5) Hazard; 6) Item; 7) Nefario; 8) NPC.


The group walked through the streets of Flotsam and came a cross a rickety tent with a old haggard woman kneeling by an decent-sized stone idol of a creature with the head of a squid, the torso of a werewolf, long, bumpy tongues for arms, and no legs, seemingly amputated, but with tendrils of veins and nerve endings issuing from the folds, and its body covered in blinking eyes (I used my Deity Generator).

The group recognized it as a shrine to the Primordial God, Mythe Totep.  The old woman shook a bowl at them, “give some gold bits to the temple of Mythe Totep?”  John and Liam immediately said, “I will.”  Fletch ignored her.  Coley shouted, “I’m blessed enough! (fucking elves)”, and Omar put half a ration in the bowl, feeling that was good enough.

Liam and John were given a blessing from Mythe Totep.  The next Luck roll they made would be with Advantage.  Nothing happened to Coley and Fletch.  Omar felt pain in his palms and looked down to see two biting mouths on them (bite attack at a 1d6).

Into the Dungeon

The group started by entering the room in the NE corner (Start 2).  I rolled the hazard for this room was the Hallway of “Eye” Suck.  The walls were lined with faces with circular mouths.  The group couldn’t make out what was on the walls, but they saw dried blood, bits of meat, and other things.

This room was fun (and a good intro to DitNP for Coley).  She decided to have her hawk fly through the hallway to the other side to see if there was any danger… well…. there was.  From the hallway itself.  There was a sucking noise and both of the hawk’s eyes were popped out and sucked into one of the faces.  The hawk squeaked once and flew right into the wall, broke its neck, and died.

The group debated on what to do next.  Chad said, “just shut your eyes and walk across,” but no one listened.  Coley asked if she could find a secret passage.  I thought that was a good suggestion, so I had her make a Luck roll.  She did, it favored her- so there was a secret passage.  I then rolled a secret Luck roll to see if it was inhabited by something nasty.  The Luck roll once again favored Coley, so while the passage way was thick with spider webs, no Nefario there was.



HOW: The Hallway of “Eye” Suck

This trap is usually set up in a narrow hallway, which is lined with hundreds (or thousands) of small holes.  Many of these will have eyeballs stuck in them, perhaps there is a brain splattered against the wall.  When targets enter the hallway, they experience discomfort as the air is pulled through all these holes.  Each target must make a BAD save for each eye to avoid having them pulled out and stuck in a hole (this results in 1d6 damage per eye).  If the target takes critical damage, their brain is pulled out through their eye socket and splatters against the wall like a thrown plate of wet dog food.  Closing one’s eyes (and stumbling around blindly) will negate this.

The group proceeded south and came across a mutant with skin like soggy corn flakes, a tentacle for his left leg, and a melted face that looked like Sloth from Goonies.  The group pressed the mutant for information.  He said that to the south was his quarters and southern from that was a room with white and black checkered flooring and in the center of the room is a small coffee table with a single slice of delicious beautiful chocolate cake on it (inspired by Zak’s post).  The chocolate cake, of course brought up references of Trump and his description of his meeting with the Chinese president (go to 0:48 for that).  The mutant also spoke of a room off to the east with several dead bodies in it.  He won’t go there for fear of something lurking in there.

The group decided to go scope out the dead bodies first.  The room was covered in offal, blood, and garbage.  Oh and three dead bodies.  John, Fletch, and Liam each looted a body (allowing me to use my loot table again- this is for the Forever Dungeon, but works for anything, really).

The first to look through the goop rolled 3d6 and got multiples.  I rolled 1d10 and got a random encounter.  I decided to roll up eye monsters (makes sense from the Hallway of the “Eye” Suck, right?)


Kinda cute…

These things dropped from the ceiling and started blinking conjunctivitis discharge on the Medieval Meat Bags, which burned and dealt damage.  A few of the players got pretty banged up (Coley mostly), but no one was knocked unconscious.  The group found several items, including extremely sharp caltrops, some drugs, pop grenade on a stick, and Fletch found a Doodad, Goo Armor.

HOW: Goo Armor: You look like your encased in an ever-runny loogie.  It disgusts people and makes them feel queasy.  You suffer Disadvantage to all MOXY rolls that deal with schmoosing, intimidating, etc. while wearing it.  While wearing Goo Armor, you are able to melt into a puddle of mucous and slither on the ground at 10’ per round.  You can fit under most doors.  Treat the armor as medium (pg XX).  You can command the armor to be absorbed into your skin (and thus not being active), but you gag as it happens as it is an extremely gross sensation and you feel like you have constant post-nasal drip.  When you summon the armor, it spews forth from your nose as water from a faucet.  It takes 1 minute for the armor to encase your body.

There was a slight hitch for this armor…  it was broken.  So when Fletch transforms into a goo, he is stuck that way until he succeeds a Luck roll (heh).

The group then headed to the cake room and Liam quickly wrapped the cake in a cloth and stuffed it in his backpack… I can’t wait for him to really check it out.

The group then traveled south west and came across a filthy halfling covered in rags with a nasty scar on his face.  He introduced himself as Burgundy Blitz (I don’t know where I pulled that name from, but there it is).  He asked for help with killing a giant insect that was causing him trouble.  In return he would give the group treasure.  The group was wary at first, worrying about giant spiders or centipedes, but when told it was a giant beetle the group got cocky with a “I got this” attitude.

They didn’t expect to fight a beetle the size of a Volkswagon bus.


John got sprayed in the face with a hallucinogenic compound from the beetle and thought that his companions were actually beetle creatures, but didn’t attack them.  Instead throwing a Molotov Cocktail at it.

Chad was hit hard by the creature and knocked unconscious, but didn’t die.  Fletch pulled out his box-o-mallet and squeezed the handle, sending the boxing mallet flying at the creature, dealing 4 damage, 2 of which was critical damage.  I rolled the beetle’s BAD save and critically failed.  The box-o-mallet looked as if it wasn’t going to reach the beetle’s head, but just at the last minute the beetle moved and the boxing glove barely touched its head.  It shivered and a ripple effect moved from the head of the creature to the back and then it’s thorax exploded and goo spewed everywhere.



The group made their way back to Burgundy Blitz and got a golden monkey idol as reward (worth 400 GB).  With that the group left for the room where the Tree Hnad of Glamglug Glamall was believed to be.

Fletch almost died after triggering some Fire Eating Moss, but found the staff.  The group exited the Whispering Tunnels and decided to carouse after that.

HOW: The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall: The staff of the great living tree Glamglug Glamall is known for its expert craftsmanship, beautifully etched runes, oh and its ability to summon a massive hand out of the ground that grabs people (sometimes it can get a little pervy).  When the staff is stabbed into the soil, the user can summon forth a 10’ high wooden hand with jagged bark fingernails and shoots of branches at random spots.  A target must make a DSS save (with Disadvantage) to avoid becoming ensnared by the hand.  The hand remains until the staff is pulled from the ground or the sun sets.  The user can command the hand to crush a target for 1d6 damage per round.    The ensnared target can make a new DSS save each round to break free.  This can be used once per day, however a Medieval Meat Bag can attempt to force the staff to work additional times by passing a MOXY save.

Carousing Highlights

Chad- Got a magical tattoo that allows him to cast a Mystic spell once before fading.

Live Fast Die Young: You can touch a target and cause them to speed up, moving as if just outside the normal spacetime.  They gain Advantage to dodging attacks and gain an extra movement and attack action.  The target must make a Luck roll- if it favors them, nothing bad happens.  If it doesn’t, the touched target ages 1d10 years.  Lasts 1d4 rounds.

John– got a really stupid tattoo.  Liam got to choose it and picked this as a whole back tattoo:


Liam- Drank a mystery potion and had his Dodging Some Shit increased by 1 for the next session.

Fletch- Dominated in a halfling mud wrestling competition (not being a halfling himself made it all the funnier) and critically succeeded on his roll on how well he did…  Good times.

The Graveyard


Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)– “Here lies the Dwarf With No Name, he done got dissolved by a puddle of goo- so pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)– “Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)– “No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”



Inspirational Images for Hubris: Downpour

I am continuing my delve into getting in the “mood” to write my next Hubris book, Hubris: Downpour.  Thus far I’ve released the Lupine (Race as Class) and the Blood Acolyte class.

The new supplement will have new races as class, organizations, territories, at least one new patron, new monsters, magic items, spells, etc. and will be heavily inspired by Evil Dead, The Mist, Exorcist, The Thing, Marilyn Manson music videos (mostly from Antichrist Superstar), and the like.  I’m also taking a little inspiration from Warhammer and a taste of Ravenloft.

Here is some art, pics, gifs, and music videos that I’m using for inspiration.

demonface final

This is a piece for Hubris: Downpour by David Lewis Johnson



The Blood Acolyte Class for Hubris (and DCC)

Now that I’ve finished the first draft of my new Death is the New Pink project, Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass!, it’s time to jump back into other projects, including GMoYA: The Forever Dungeon and some good ol’ Hubris writing!

The new supplement will have new races as class, organizations, territories, at least one new patron, new monsters, magic items, spells, etc. and will be heavily inspired by Evil Dead, The Mist, Exorcist, The Thing, and the like.  I’m also taking a little inspiration from Warhammer and a taste of Ravenloft.

I started writing notes about a year ago, but not much beyond that has been done.  Previously I posted the first race as class, the Lupine.  Now it’s time to look at the class, Blood Acolyte.

Blood Acolyte

Blood Acolyte 2

 Art is not for Hubris- artist found here.

For years you trained for countless hours in the practices of Blood Combat, the mystic arts of using the blood of your foes to fuel your rage and destroy them.  These arts have been taught to mortals by the God-king himself and you sacrificed your freedom to serve the Him, acting as emissary of His will, brutal enforcer of His punishments, and as a deadly weapon in His army.

You understand the irony of using a creature’s own blood to subjugate and slaughter them, but you have been taught to not let this cloud your judgement, for showing any pride can weaken one’s position, allowing a foe to gain an upper hand.

And now, whether you heed the call of the God-king, serving loyally as He commands, or you are an exile, banished from His glory and cast aside, you use your abilities to survive in the sodden, fog-choked lands of Downpour.

Hit Points: A blood acolyte gains 1d8 HP per level.

Weapon Training: A blood acolyte is trained in the following weapons: blowgun, bolas*, club, dagger, dart, garrote, polearm, shortbow, sickle*, spear, spiked chain*, and staff.  Blood acolytes tend to wear no armor or nothing heavier than studded leather as it impacts their abilities.

*Weapons in the Hubris campaign setting (see equipment- Hubris, pg 54).

Alignment: While the use of Blood Combat is a violent and invasive act, blood acolytes must keep calm and focused, keeping their fury in check until the moment of violence arises.  This practice makes most blood acolytes Neutral.  However, there are extremists in the order with elevated devotion to the God-king and they could be considered Lawful or Chaotic.

Combatant: Blood acolytes have been trained to use their fists as deadly weapons.  A blood acolyte’s fists deal 1d6 damage.

Blood Combat

Blood Acolyte

Art is not for Hubris- artist found here.

A blood acolyte uses the blood from their foes to power special abilities, called Blood Combat.  When a blood acolyte uses a melee weapon, they generate a number of Blood Points equal to half the damage done (only that listed on the dice, no modifiers).  If the blood acolyte is using their fists, they generate Blood Points equal to the full amount of damage done (only that listed on the dice, no modifiers).  A blood acolyte uses Blood Points to power their Blood Combat abilities.  Blood Points reset to zero after a night’s rest.

Blood Combat abilities are divided into four categories: Tier I through Tier IV.  Each tier’s is stronger than the previous and costs more in Blood Points.  To use an ability the blood acolyte must succeed a test (DCs are marked with each tier).  The blood acolyte rolls 1d20 + blood acolyte level + Stamina modifier and attempts to beat the DC.  If the blood acolyte critically fails, they cannot use Blood Combat for 24 hours, lose all blood points, and suffer the effects of Hemorrhage (pg XX) appropriate to their level.

Accumulated Blood Points are consumed when the ability is successfully cast.


Blood Combat Abilities

Tier I Abilities (10 Blood Points)- DC 12

Cat-like Reflexes: Your reflexes become heightened.  You roll all Initiative and Ref saves one step higher on the die ladder for a number of turns equal to your level.
Fists of Fury: Your attacks are swifter.  You gain an additional attack at 1d20 for a number of turns equal to your level.
Healing: You use the energy of the blood to heal yourself for 2d6 HP.
Hyper Movement: Your movement is swift.  You increase your movement speed by 10’ for a number of hours equal to your level.

Tier II Abilities (15 Blood Points)- DC 14

Agile: Your body becomes lithe.  You gain Sneak Silently, Hide in Shadows, Climb Sheer Surfaces as a Thief (DCC, pg 38) of equal level for a number of hours equal to your level.
Focused Mind: Your mind becomes calm.  You roll all saves against mind-altering effects one step higher on the die ladder for a number of turns equal to level.
Healing Touch: You use the energy of the blood to heal an ally for 2d6 HP.
Hemorrhage: Your attacks hurt, rupturing internal organs.  The next target hit by you must succeed a Fort save (DC equal to 10 + Blood Acolyte level) or suffer an additional 1d6 damage per round for 1d6 rounds.  At 6th level increase damage to 2d4 and duration to 2d4.
Iron Fists: Your weapon (or fists) become encased in blood energy, increasing damage one step on the die ladder.  Lasts for a number of turns equal to Blood Acolyte’s level.
Stun: You channel blood energy into your weapon (or fist).  The next target that is hit by you must succeed a Fort save (DC equal to 10 + Blood Acolyte level) or become stunned and unable to act or truly defend self (lose AC bonus).  Lasts until the affected target makes another successful save + 1 round.
Thickened Skin: You absorb the blood energy into your flesh, causing it to harden.  If you are wearing no armor, gain +8 AC.  If you are wearing armor that grants an AC bonus of +4 to +1, gain +4 AC.  Anything with an AC of 5 or higher gains no benefit from this ability.  This effect lasts a number of hours equal to your level.

Tier III Abilities (20 Blood Points)- DC 16

Block Energy: You channel blood energy into a target that is capable of wizard spells, effectively blocking their ability to do so*.  The target must succeed a Will save (DC equal to 10 + Blood Acolyte level) or be unable to cast wizard-type spells for one day.  *A Judge is more than within their right to say a creature is too powerful or magical to be affected by this ability. 
Confuse: You use the energies from blood to encompasses weapon (or fist).  The weapon is considered magic for the purposes of dealing with monsters who can only be harmed by magical weapon.  The next target hit by you must succeed a Will save (DC equal to 10 + Blood Acolyte level) or become confused.  Each round, on the affected targets action roll 1d5: 1) do nothing; 2) act as normal; 3) attack ally; 4) stumble and fall prone (lose next action to stand up); 5) flee from Blood Acolyte at standard movement.  Lasts a number of round equal to your level.
Feast: You consume the blood energy and are immediately satiated as if having had food, water, and 8 hours rest (although your blood points reset as if you have rested).  You do not gain an HP associated with resting (DCC, pg 94), but do not suffer adverse effects of fatigue.  You can only do this once per day.
Greater Healing: You use the energy of the blood to heal yourself for 4d6 HP.

Tier IV Abilities (25 Blood Points)- DC 18

Greater Healing Touch: You use the energy of the blood to heal an ally for 4d6 HP.
Purity: You use the blood energy to cure any disease, poison, or mutation (only mutations gained within the last hour).  You can only use this ability once per day on self.  If you use this ability on another target, cannot use this ability for one week.
Toxic Wave: You release a purpleish-black cloud of miasma in a 5’ radius around you.  All targets in the cloud must make a Fort save (DC 10 + blood acolyte level) or become sickened, making all rolls one step lower on the die ladder and suffer 1d6 damage per round in the area.  On the second round, the cloud extends to a 10’ radius.  On the third round, the cloud extends to a 15’ radius.  It dissipates on the fourth round.  Targets are sickened until after they are out of the miasma and one round after.  Targets that succeed on the Fort save cannot be affected by this again for 24 hours.
Vicious Attack: Blood Acolyte Levels 1-6: Increase your critical threat range to 19-20 and roll current Crit Die on Table IV.  Blood Acolyte Levels 7-10: Increase critical threat range to 18-20 and roll current Crit die on Table V.  This effect lasts a number of rounds equal to your level.

Self-Mutilation: A blood acolyte can cut on themselves, draining their own Stamina to power their abilities.  Each point of Stamina sacrificed equals double that in Blood Points + 1d6.  Lost Stamina recovers at a rate of 1 per day.

Luck: A blood acolyte’s Luck modifier factors into their roll when rolling their save for Blood Combat.

Languages: At 1st level a blood acolyte automatically speaks common.


Blood Acolyte 3

Art not for Hubris- I found it here.


Table X-XX: Blood Acolyte

Level Crit Die/Table* Action Die Ref Fort Will
1 1d10/III 1d20 +1 +1 +0
2 1d12/III 1d20 +1 +1 +0
3 1d14/III 1d20 +2 +1 +1
4 1d16/IV 1d20 +2 +2 +1
5 1d20/IV 1d20+1d14 +3 +2 +1
6 1d24/IV 1d20+1d16 +3 +3 +2
7 1d30/IV 1d20+1d16 +4 +3 +2
8 1d30/IV 1d20+1d20 +4 +4 +2
9 2d20/IV 1d20+1d20 +5 +4 +3
10 2d20/IV 1d20+1d20+1d14 +5 +5 +3

* The critical success tables can be found in DCC, pg 82-83.

Table 1-14: Blood Acolyte Titles
Level Title by Alignment
1 Servant
2 Disciple
3 Breaker
4 Rupturer
5 Devastator

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Four- Curing the Infection of Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo’s Left Udder

A new group of Medieval Meat Bags took a dive into the Forever Dungeon as we continue our playtesting it and the rules for Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass.



All my Forever Dungeon stuff is in a handy dandy box.  I decided to put the cover for GMoYA on it and tape the title on- Punk Rock-style.


Katie– Human- Uses a morning star and a shield.  Born to fight.

Jamie– Human– Not a bad scrapper.  Has a Doodad (The Foil Hat), and likes stabbin’ things.  Has an attack dog named Spikums.

Nate– Human- More of a lover than a fighter.  Has the ability to cast four Mystic spells.  Has tapeworm symbiotes in system that heals damage.

Into the Dungeon

As this group of players had never played DitNP or the Forever Dungeon, I decided to just start them right at the door and diving right in.  Jamie’s attack dog, Spikums, sniffed at the door, but didn’t seem to smell anything suspicious… so Jamie kicked it open aaaannnnnddd….

The Room With Rodents of Unusual Size


Immediately had a Rodent of Unusual Size jump in his face and take a bite.  “Spikums, you’re useless!” Jamie cried as he was reduced to zero HP, but did not fall unconscious.  The group made quick work of the one rat.  Nate attempted to cast Poison Heart on the freshly removed heart of the rodent, but failed…  pouting, he fed the heart to Spikums.

HOW: Poison Heart (Mystic Spell): You remove the heart from a dead body and work necrotic magics into it.  The heart becomes rotten, vile, and really ichy!  You can throw this nasty piece of corpse meat at another target, who must succeed a BAD save or suffer 1d20 Bad damage.  The heart explodes upon impact and releases poison cloud in 10’ radius for 2d6 damage to all (no save).

The group headed east.

The Home of Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo

The group walks in to the room and sees a cow chewing grass on a hillock.  They were immediately wary of the beast and started to approach cautiously.

Aside: Nate looked at me and laughed.  “There’s a cow…. a cow in the dungeon.  eating grass…?  Where’d the hillock even come from?”

“Oh… Hello.” said the cow.

“uuuuuummmmm…. the cow is talking.” Said Katie.

Aside: Nate said, “And the cow talks…?!”

Nate saw the bovine’s udders and went to get some milk.  The cow moved his udder out of the way, “excuse me!  These are mine, thank you very much.  You could AT LEAST introduce yourself before you start attempting to touch me.”

The group introduced themselves and the cow replied, “Hello.  I am Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo- a magical cow.  I am in need of your services!  I have a terrible infection in my left udder and I need help finding a rare plant that grows within the dungeon called Allofus Gropus.  It will heal my infection!  If you agree to find some, I’ll give you some magical milk.

Kate and Jamie agreed to the quest and each got a pint of magical milk (heals 1d12 HP and 1d6 BAD).  Nate did not want to be bound to help the bovine, so he passed.

After resting for a few minutes the group continued to head east.

How: Last session I had fun introducing Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo that I decided to introduce him to my Rochester group.  I also wanted him to have a quest/plot hook to dish out and rolled “Rare plant Allofus Gropus.”  Last session I had mentioned that the cow had an infection in his left udder and thought this would tie in rather nicely.

The Treasure Room

The group came across a beautiful looking treasure chest.  Nate moved closer to examine it and saw that a black ichor was seeping up from inside down onto the latch and lock.  He could also hear a scratching noise coming from within.

As he was paying attention to this a small otter with bejeweled eyes and gems along its spine and covered in a pink acidic goo emerged from underneath the treasure chest.  Nate attempted to cast Watch It Die, but failed.  Katie ran up and attempted to calm the creature and rolled a critical success on her MOXY save, instantly taming the creature and gaining a small pet.  She named the otter Cuddles.

The group decided to ignore the treasure chest and move on, continuing east.

How: Watch it Die (Mystic Spell): You channel your hatred and wrath into a creature.  Creatures with 1 HD (or less) are instantly killed (no save).  Creatures with 2 HD are allowed a BAD save to avoid dying.  If the creature dies, make a Luck roll- if it favors you, the dead creature transforms into a Mashed Meat Monster and serves you until slain (can only have one Mashed Meat Monster under your control at a time.

Stats: BAD 10+1d6, DSS 2d6, MOXY 1d6, HP 2d6, Pseudopods x2 1d6, Can climb walls, DRIVEN TO BE A CREEPY, GROSS AND SLIMEY MESS.

When a Medieval Meat Bag is doing something like picking a lock, disarming a trap, ect. I do not make them make a roll if they are taking their time.  They automatically do it.  However, because they are taking their time there is a chance of a random encounter.  If the group decides to kick down a door and make a bunch of noise, then there is definitely something that is going to happen.  If they are hurriedly attempting to disarm a trap, unlock a door, etc. I make them roll the appropriate save to avoid damage, etc.

While Nate was looking at the treasure chest, I rolled a 1d6 and got a 2- meaning there as a random encounter.  I opened my book to Nefarios and rolled a 1d20 three times and got “Bejeweled, Acidic, and Otter.”  Boom.  There’s my monster.  I rolled 1d10 and got a 1, so it’s a 1 Hit Die creature.  Then I rolled a 1d8 and got a 2, so it has 10 in all of its stats.  Done.

The Baby Rattle Room

The room was dark and nothing could be heard.  Jamie lit a torch.  While Jamie and Katie were too focused on the torch to notice anything, Nate saw two creepy looking children (don’t they all look this way…?) standing at the far end of the room.

Evil Kids

Nate gasped and blinked in shock and the kids had vanished.  On a pedestal in the room was a blue baby rattle that was the size of a sledge hammer.

Nate: “I get in front of the two of them before they can go into the room and quickly close the door.”  

As Nate closes the door they all hear, “We’re gonna get you… we’re gonna get you.”

The group said fuck it and headed north.

Doodad Room

Jamie opened the door and found a large blow gun on a dais.  He quickly grabbed it and found the Doodad, The Giant Spitball Blowgun.

How: I am not making people “identify” Doodads found in the Forever Dungeon.  Especially as Doodads only have a 15% chance of being real when the Medieval Meat Bags exit.  Let them have fun with it now, that’s what I say.

Giant Spitball Blowgun: Pack a wad of chewed paper into this blowgun and puff your cheeks and blow, motherfucker!  The soggy wet spitball that shoots forth grows in size and smacks a target in their head, completely enveloping their stupid face. They are unable to see or breathe and stumble about. They must succeed a BAD save (with Disadvantage) to remove the gummy spitball from their face. The target can survive a number of rounds equal to their BAD score. After that duration they suffocate. What a sad, pathetic way to die.

The Deadite Room

The group opened the door and found the floor covered in blood, four dead bodies strewn about, and one man on his knees, his back to them, apparently weeping.  “Help me…  Please help me.”

The group stood in the doorway, “What happened in here.”

The figure said, “We found a treasure chest…  And we went to open it.”

“I KNEW that chest was bad news.” Nate said quickly.

The figure shuddered, “And they died.  They died.  They died!  THEY DIED!!”

The figure turned around revealing a horrible visage and milky white eyes

deadite ash

Nate closed the door again worked before right?!) and the Deadite slammed against the door, “We’re gonna get you!  We’re gonna get you!” it screamed.

The group decided that Jamie would stand at the other end of the room and use his new spitball blowgun on the fucker and that Nate would stand against the wall and open the door.

Nate did so, but I allowed the Deadite a Dodging Some Shit (DSS) roll with Disadvantage to see if it would catch Nate’s wrist.  It succeeded.  Nate felt the creature clasp its hand on his wrist and pull him towards the door.  The Deadite’s head poked around the door frame, “Come inside with me darling… it’s so dark in here.”

Jamie shot a massive spitball at the creature (with Disadvantage for firing into melee), but still hit the Deadite in the face.  The creature fell back into the room.

Katie rushed in and saw its back to her and seemed to be struggling with the spitball on its face.  The spitball landed on the ground with a sloppy slap (like soggy urine-soaked paper towel) and the Deadite turned to face her, “Just kidding…” it said with a smile.

The rest of the fight was quick, but several injuries occurred.  Eventually Katie dashed the Deadite’s brains out all over the wall with her morning star.

The group took a moment to bandage their injuries, drink some magic milk, and then headed west.

Jamie looted the bodies and also found another Doodad, The Blanket of Saddness

HOW: Blanket of Sadness: Cover some poor fool like they were a bird in a cage with this blanket.  They must succeed on a MOXY save or just sit on the ground and start balling like a baby.  They receive a new save every 10 minutes.  If any blood gets on the blanket, it ceases to function until thoroughly cleaned (costing roughly 50 GB).

The Grove Room

The group found themselves in a room much larger than any they had been in.  Large trees, thick vegetation, and fireflies flitted around.  Walking around the room was a gorgeous elk-like creature covered in vegetation.


They attempted to communicate with the creature, thinking it would be able to speak like Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo, but it didn’t seem to want to, and got indignant at the mention of the magical cow.

The group eventually found a plant that they thought was Allofus Gropus and left back to see Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo.

The Rest of the Session

The group found out that the plants were not, in fact, Allofus Gropus, but instead were Dingelberries (which does have healing properties).  The group went back to the Grove Room and found the right plant.  On the way back they heard the scritching from the treasure chest in the Treasure Room and decided to pour holy water on the ichor, which hissed, smoked, and dissolved.

Nate opened the chest and found 300 Gold Bits (yay).  However, three Necrotic Mice jumped out of the chest, one biting down on Nate’s finger.  Nate critically succeeded is BAD save and is now forever immune to the effects of Necrotic Mice.  Kate smashed one with her morning star, which burst like a gooey poptart.

The fight was quick, but not without its cost.  Katie gained a mutation (a really big nose) and Nate got the index finger of his right hand bitten off.

The group returned to Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo and gave him the Allofus Gropus, which he excitedly started rubbing on his udder.

The group left the dungeon.  Sadly neither of the two Doodads that Jamie found turned out to be real (he was really sad about losing the Sad Blanket).  With that the group headed back to Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor in Flotsam.


Everyone caroused, gaining some reputation, helping some people being bullied, found some items, went on a spending spree and got arrested for streaking through the streets!

The Graveyard


Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)– “Here lies the Dwarf With No Name, he done got dissolved by a puddle of goo- so pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)– “Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)– “No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

The Final Map of the Session



Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Three- Talking Cows, Talking Flamingos, and Melted Medieval Meat Bags- oh and the Cover is DONE, SON!

First Aside : Matthew Seagle has started running Hubris for his group (fucking awesome!) and has started doing fantastic session recaps.  The thing I really enjoy is the “HOW” portion of the recaps.  I really enjoy this because it let’s me see unique parts of his group and how Matthew runs his games.  Second (and as a game designer, this is more important to me)- it let’s me see that my design philosophy for Hubris works for other people (yay).

I enjoy Matthew’s methodology on the “HOW” so much I will endeavor to include that in my session recaps going forward (where applicable).

Second Aside: Kelvin Green just finished the cover for DitNP: GMoYA!

medieval cover layout 4 2552x3508 300dpi

So damned sexy!  Kelvin did a great job paying homage to Jeremy Duncan’s original DitNP cover!

Finally on to the Recap

So we continue our playtesting two new Death is the New Pink projects I’m working on.  The first is Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass and the second is The Forever Dungeon.

Returning Players

Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Muscle Up! for being human- I am the Bringer of Death– When you kill a target you are able to make another attack (this can go on and on if you keep killing the target).

Starting Equipment– Scythe, Vial of Poison, Flashbang Powder Pouch, Human, Believes Sculpting Their Mashed Potatoes Means Something, Doodad (Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Princess)

Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Prince(ss): There once was a spoiled prince(ss) (or maybe he/she was just really sad) and he/she cried and cried and blah blah blah.  Anyways, these tears are magically frozen and when one is thrown at a target they must succeed a BAD save or become frozen for 2d6 rounds.  If the target is at 0 HP and fails their save, they are permanently frozen.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

John– Human- Cheshire- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Muscle Up! for being human- Ninja– You can hide in shadows that normal people could not.  Also when you make a successful Back Attack (pg XX) you add your level as bonus damage.

Starting Equipment- Short Spear, Sling, Epic-Looking Helmet Made of Antlers, Necklace of Monster Teeth, Human, Fierce and Wild-looking, Killer (Muscle Up!)

Chad– Half-orc- BJ Orc (friends call him Bjorc)- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Race Stuff: Increase your BAD to 13 if less was rolled.  Fearless: You ain’t afraid of shit. You are immune to fear effects.  Two-handed Fighter: You grew up knowing how to handle large weapons.  When using two-handed melee weapons you gain +2 to damage, but doesn’t suffer +2 to attack (pg XX); Orkish-Resistance: Once per day you can become enraged, gaining Resistance (pg XX) to all physical damage for a number of rounds equal to half your BAD score (round down).  This is a free action on their turn.

Starting Equipment- Maul, Spiked Braces That Look Fucking Metal, Half-orc, Pouch Filled With Small Ceramic Animals, Doodad (Decoy Mixing Powder)

Decoy Mixing Powder: Add hot water and stir for two rounds- creates a squishy version of you that enemies will attack (and eat) unless they succeed on a MOXY save.  What flavor are you, roll 1d6: 1) strawberry; 2) lime; 3) orange; 4) raspberry; 5) blueberry; 6) pineapple mango banana (yummy).  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

New Players

Omar- Human- “Scotch” as name- always drunk.  Peg Leg (with secret compartment to hold booze)- Level Ye Olde Weenie.

Muscle Up! for being human- Ninja– You can hide in shadows that normal people could not.  Also when you make a successful Back Attack (pg XX) you add your level as bonus damage.

Starting Equipment: Crossbow, Crutch (functions as a Club), Thieves Tools, Doodad

Starting Doodad: Invisibility Cloak: While wearing this cloak you are invisible until you remove the cloak or you attack.  Your first attack made on an unaware target is made with Advantage.

Fletch- Dwarf- Called “Tooth”- Albino with a necklace of smelly cheese.  Tattoos on face and arms of robots being chopped into pieces and impaled.  

Race Stuff- Dwarf- You’re a gruff asshole.  You are stout, smell like shitty beer, and stand roughly 4 ½” tall.  You live for combat, drinking, arm wrestling, and stating the obvious to people as if they are all morons.  You can see in the dark up to 30’.  Stout: You are immune to all poisons; Know Stone: You know stone and can tell its secrets (MOXY roll with Advantage if roll is needed in a hurry- otherwise automatically succeed); Slayer: The thrill of combat excites you.  Each successful attack you make grants +1 to damage.  Resets after each fight.

Starting Equipment: Great Axe, and Chainmail Armor (ignores 2 points of damage per attack).

Muscle Up!: I am the Bringer of DEATH!: When you kill a target you are able to make another attack (this can go on and on if you keep killing the target).

Gene- Human- Tyoni- has long hair and exquisite pubic hair, a soul patch, and believes descendant from wolves. Claims to be From the Future (mentions a great city called “Scratchtown”).

Starting Equipment: Wheellock Rifle, Dagger, Flashbang Powder Pouch, and Doodad.

Starting Doodad: Friendly Symbiotes: These little buggers like you.  You swallow this small tape-worm looking creatures.  They heal you quickly, so you can get on with your Medieval Meat Baggy day!  Once per day they will heal you for 1d6 BAD or DSS damage.  If you ever take cold damage, they are killed.  Sometimes you hear them whispering stuff in your brain, like that you’re the herald and savior of all humanoids or a recipe for really delicious pizza sauce.

HOW: I’ve changed character creation in GMoYA slightly from the original DitNP and Into the Odd.  Instead of consulting your strongest attribute and your HP against a chart, just roll 1d100 and consult the table- this gives a 100 different options and allowed me to insert a decent number of race options (i.e., dwarf, elf, halfling, and half-orc- three each, I think- the rest are all human).  The starter package highlights race, quirk/descriptor, unique starting item/equipment, and whether you start with a Muscle Up! or a Doodad.

The group started at Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor after a two weeks of debauchery and laziness.

Liam, Chad, and John rolled on what happened to them between sessions (as they were in the first session).

Liam found some random equipment.  Chad puked on Ol’ Gin (regular at Nasty Mimi’s), and John got black out drunk.

What Happened Between Sessions- Death is the New Pink- Going Medieval on Yo Ass

While the group was drinking, a scraggly pirate came up to them and introduced himself as Slim Jim.  He heard tales that Liam, John, and Chad had found the Know Know Bird (a smarmy/know-it-all Pink Flamingo with a pink mullet) in the Forever Dungeon.  For an escort through the Forever Dungeon and finding the Know Know Bird, Slim Jim was willing to give them the location of a powerful Doodad, The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall.  

The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall: The staff of the great living tree Glamglug Glamall is known for its expert craftsmanship, beautifully etched runes, oh and its ability to summon a massive hand out of the ground that grabs people (sometimes it can get a little pervy).  When the staff is stabbed into the soil, the user can summon forth a 10’ high wooden hand with jagged bark fingernails and shoots of branches at random spots.  A target must make a DSS save (with Disadvantage) to avoid becoming ensnared by the hand.  The hand remains until the staff is pulled from the ground or the sun sets.  The user can command the hand to crush a target for 1d6 damage per round.    The ensnared target can make a new DSS save each round to break free.  This can be used once per day, however a Medieval Meat Bag can attempt to force the staff to work additional times by passing a MOXY save.

The group agreed.  Fletch hired a mercenary (which had better stats than nearly ALL of them) and they headed to the Forever Dungeon.

HOW: I am designing the Forever Dungeon to be run with zero prep and using die drop charts, tables, and Luck rolls (roll 1d6- if the result is 1-3, it favors the GM/monsters, if the result is 4-6 it favors the players), etc. to be the determining factor rather than me constantly making ultimate decisions.

Kelvin Green and I are working hard to develop this.  Kelvin is doing the art and (along with myself) coming up with zany rooms and fun!  We will have more news on this in the near future!

Here’s info on the Forever Dungeon and how I handle Looting the Body.

Entrance– The band of Medieval Meat Bags walked through a hallway and came to a door at the opposite end.  Nothing of interest encountered.  Liam opened the door.

The Room of the Talking Cow- The group walked into a room with a small hillock on the ground with a cow chewing on some grass.  Omar hobbled into the room and looked at the cow.

The cow raised its head, “Oh…  Hello.”

Omar blinked at it and then put on his invisibility cloak and walked away, not wanting to deal with what just happened.  The cow looked around for a second and then focused on Gene, “Oh… Hello.”

The group talked with the cow, finding out its name is Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo and that he is a magical cow.  He had a quest for the brave Medieval Meat Bags- Find the Heavy Metal Wizard and convince him to throw a concert for Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo’s 13th birthday.  In exchange he offered the group milk from his udders (hey!  Fuck you- he’s a magical cow- he can make milk too, ok?!).

“You’ll have to take it from the right udder- my left has an infection.  Sorry about that.”  The group each got a glass of magical milk (heals 1d12 HP and 1d6 BAD instantly).  While the cow was busy milking itself, Omar snuck up and took some infected milk.  Since he’s drunk, he forgot to label which is which.

The group then asked if the cow knew where the Know Know Bird was.  The cow failed his MOXY roll and told them the Know Know Bird was off to the south west.  In actuality, the Know Know Bird was in the room directly north (heh).

The group headed west.

The Treasure Room- The group found a large treasure chest that was cursed with magical aura.  John was able to circumvent the trap and found some Gold Bits and a few other baubles, one of which was an expensive spy glass.

After everything was looted the group headed west.

The Room of Deadly Pink Flowers


This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group came into this room and saw a wall of beautiful pink flowers and a skeleton entangled in the vines, two flowers popping out of the eye sockets.

Liam went over and used his scythe to cull the evil flowers.  They attacked!  The group made quick work of the vines and they withered and died.  Giving high fives and epic bro-like chest bumps, the group headed south.

The Prison Cage Room

The group walked into this room and saw four rusty cages suspended from the ceiling.  Two were empty, one had a skeleton, and the other a human.  He leaned against the cage the moment the group entered.  “Water…” His voice croaked.

Liam walked over and gave him water without hesitation and then freed him.  He got to the ground and stretched and squealed with laughter.   Liam now had a steadfast friend!


“Who are you?” Asked Liam.

“My name is Mad Mulligan!”

“Mad Mulligan?” asked John.

“Well yes- you know- because of copyright laws and all that- can never be too careful.  Anyways- I am the greatest swordsman who’s ever lived.”

And thus Mad Mulligan joined the party.

While this was going on, Fletch decided to investigate the rest of the room and found a secret compartment with a small treasure chest.   The bricks were off colored with a fine dust around them.  Fletch took a stick and touched the bricks to move it.  Nothing happened.  He then touched it with his hands.  Green light enveloped his body as he dehydrated and was reduced to dust!  His belongings clattered to the ground.

Mad Mulligan looked over at the noise, “oh hey!  Be careful…  I saw a Mystic put a disintegrating curse over there- oh… too late.”

With that- Fletch took on the role of his Mercenary and the group moved north back through the Pink Flower Room and north again.

HOW: Fletch said he wanted to look around the room for secrets.  I made a Luck roll and it favored the party, so yeah- there was a secret compartment.  I rolled what was in the secret compartment and it was 1d3 random items and some Gold Bits.  Then I made a Luck roll to see if it was trapped- that didn’t favor the players- so it was.

The Room With the Toxic Gelatin

The room was dark and nasty.  Burbling, wet slapping noises echoed off the walls.  Chad and Gene lit their torches and saw a green ooze with the skeleton of a dwarf inside it (this was Kevin’s character who died last session in the Make Out Room).  Gene lost his shit and smacked his face into a wall, stunning himself.  John grabbed him and started backing out of the room.  Omar and Chad rushed in to beat the shit out of the thing.  Omar put on his invisibility cloak (very Harry Potter-esque, eh?!) and moved up behind it and delivered a damaging blow with his crutch.  The ooze turned around and a pseudo-pod lashed out and smashed Omar in the face, melting his head, killing him.

BOOM!  Two Medieval Meat Bags down!

Chad then delivered the killing blow and the thing burbled one last time and then popped and dissolved.

Clambering out of the rubble in the corner was Omar’s new character, Cleave-land!  A 6’9″ hulking mass of muscles.  Human.  Lil brain/bro-type with shreds of clothing, long hair, and beautiful brown skin and tribal tats.

Starting Muscle Up!Fighter: Gain a second attack per round.

After dusting themselves off, the group headed north.

The Library Room


This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group found a room filled with pink bookcases and a skeleton “reading” a book.  John moved over to the skeleton and looked at the book.  The writing was illegible and hummed with electric blue energy.  The skeleton turned and looked at John, “Do you MIND…?  It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder.”

“Oh sorry.”  Said John.  “Say…. you don’t know where the Know Know Bird is, do you?”

“Oh that bird…  yes- I believe he’s over to the east somewhere.”

“Thanks.  I’ll let you get back to your book.”

The others searched for secrets and Liam found a small compartment with some gold.  Chad took some books on vegetarian orc burgers, a book on knitting, and a book on the history of the Forever Dungeon.

With that the group headed east.

The Puuuurrrrfect Room



This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group saw that the room was empty except for a large metal grate in the center.  “Oh I am staying FAR away from that!” John said and started edging down towards the southern door.


As John got halfway through the room they heard a voice issue from the grate and a smoky cat apparition flowed through the grate.

“Noooowwww what tasty morsels do we have here?”

HOW: This room image was inspired by the cat smoke gif- Kelvin did a great job capturing that!

Cat Smoke

The group talked to the cat creature for a few minutes- asking about the Know Know Bird.  The cat creature became indignant.  “Oh.  Him… Ever since someone let him out of his cage (which happened to be John, Chad, and Liam), he’s been walking around all free and acting like he owns the place.  Oh excuuuuuuuuse me that he has a fabulous pink mullet- what a jerk.”

Chad, Liam, and John eyed one another nervously.

“Why look for him?  I’d make a much better friend than him!”

“I’ll be your friend,” Chad said.  “We aren’t looking for him to be friends.  We were hired to find him by that guy (points at Slim Jim who is hiding in the back of everyone).”

“Oh…  well then.  Good luck.  See you soon!”  The cat reached smoky arms and paws out and stretched.  Huge silver scythe-like claws manifested and then retracted.  The cat creature retreated back into the grate.

The group decided to head South.

The Spring Spike Trap Room

The room was filled with white and off-white checkered floor tiles.  John used his sling and sack full of colorful rocks to test the tiles.  When a rock landed on the white tiles, nothing happened.  When one landed on the off-white, 3′ high spikes shot through the ground for a moment and then retreated.

“Well shit…” Said John.  John decided to take his time getting across the room to the eastern door.

As John made it to the door, the group heard a gross squealing from behind them.  A horrific giant pig with rotting flesh and foot long blades poking out of its hide walked into The Puuuurrrrfect Room. 

HOW: Since John stated that he was taking his time, I rolled a random encounter- rolled a 1 (encounter time- first time all session!!!).  I then rolled on my table to create a Nefario on the fly and rolled the words “rotting”, “Blade-covered”, and “Pig”.  BOOM!  There’s the enemy.  Gave it 10 in all stats and rolled 1d3 to determine it’s HD (I rolled a 3).  I rolled 3d6 and it started with 15 HP.

Chad used his shield to push the pig creature into the spike trap room, causing it to set off a trap and take 8 points of damage.  Omar jumped into the room to attack it and failed his Dodging Some Shit roll- impaling himself on the spikes (losing his left eye in the process) and falling unconscious.

The pig creature made it’s way back to Chad and headbutted his ass hard (critical success).  Down went Chad- unconscious and possibly dead.  John then mock squealed at the pig and enraged it, causing it to come back into the spike trap room.  Again, it failed its MOXY save and was impaled on a trap twice, killing it.  John walked back and revived Omar and Chad.  The group headed through the eastern door and found…

The Room of the Know Know Bird

Sitting in a dapper nest atop a ruined cage was a regal pink flamingo.

“Oh hey you guys!  How’s going on?  Not many people come to see me twice!”

HOW: For some reason the Know Know Bird is a mix of Christopher Walken and Joe Pesci when I voice him…. Whatever- but it’s fun.

The group exchanged banter and allowed Slim Jim to ask his question- which surmounted to “where’s my wife?”

“Oh- she died.  In the Calamity.  Pretty horrible too, ya know.  I mean shit wasn’t kind to her.”

“But- she had a place in The Tanks!” Cried Slim Jim.

“Yeah well- your wife thought that it was a form of governmental overstepping and control and skipped out- figuring she would actually just become brainwashed.”

Slim Jim needed booze and wanted to leave.

Omar had never seen the Know Know Bird and asked for the history of the Forever Dungeon.

“Oh- that’s interesting.  During the Calamity some entities made this place- and they made me.  Are they gods…?  Is this an experiment upon which our benefactors and creators watch us repeatedly engage in the same dance and routine over and over again…?  Is it for their humor?  Is this merely a dream, repeated as an example of the futility of attempting to escape ones fate…?”

Omar scratched his head- the answer too confusing for him.

“Oh hey guys- You know I’ve decided to branch out now- you know- gotta market myself better!  Have a fortune cookie.  Crack that sucker open and get lucky!”

Aside: The fortune cookies give Advantage on one Luck roll.  

With that the group decided to do one more room and headed South…

Back to The Room of the Talking Cow.

There was quite a bit of laughter at the fact that if they had just headed north they would have found the damned bird right away…

So the group said hi to Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo again and headed east.

The Man With Tumorous Growth Room


This guy was in the center of the room, covered in these growths.  His moans were pitiful, indecent, and horrific.

The group launched into combat and… got really really hurt (except for John).  By this point we were down to just John, Omar, and Chad… and Omar and Chad were already hurting pretty bad.

Omar went unconscious again.  John and Chad finished the creature off and revived Omar.  When he came to, he had gained a mutation- and oddly enough I rolled whole body and covered in tumorous growths…  Omar lost a permanent 4 MOXY, however if he touches a target they must succeed a BAD save or be stunned for 1d4 rounds.

With that the group went to Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor to carouse and blot out the terribleness of the adventure.

Carousing Results

John- Didn’t need much and just drank a little.  Ended up streaking through the Flotsam square and got arrested and had to pay a fine.

Omar- helped a small orphan from getting beat up and now has a loyal companion named Sonny Jim.  He also got a magical tattoo of a broken heart on his chest.  It allows him to cast the Mystic spell Recipe For Hate once and then it will fade away.

Recipe for Hate:  You touch an ally, causing them to become consumed with rage and hate.  All attacks are made with Advantage and they gain an extra 1 armor point.  The ally will attack enemies first, however if there are no more enemies and they are still under the effects of the spell they must succeed a MOXY save (made with Disadvantage) or attack one of their own.  Lasts 1 minute.

Chad- Pissed himself and will now be ridiculed for the next session (Disadvantage on MOXY saves with bartering/schmoozing), now has an animal friend (a pig- go figure), and joined a protest- it was boring- just like his life.

Next session this Wednesday

The Graveyard



Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)“Here lies the Dwarf With No Name, he done got dissolved by a puddle of goo- so pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)“Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)“No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

The Final Map of the Session

The Forever Dungeon