Category Archives: The Forever Dungeon

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Three- Talking Cows, Talking Flamingos, and Melted Medieval Meat Bags- oh and the Cover is DONE, SON!

First Aside : Matthew Seagle has started running Hubris for his group (fucking awesome!) and has started doing fantastic session recaps.  The thing I really enjoy is the “HOW” portion of the recaps.  I really enjoy this because it let’s me see unique parts of his group and how Matthew runs his games.  Second (and as a game designer, this is more important to me)- it let’s me see that my design philosophy for Hubris works for other people (yay).

I enjoy Matthew’s methodology on the “HOW” so much I will endeavor to include that in my session recaps going forward (where applicable).

Second Aside: Kelvin Green just finished the cover for DitNP: GMoYA!

medieval cover layout 4 2552x3508 300dpi

So damned sexy!  Kelvin did a great job paying homage to Jeremy Duncan’s original DitNP cover!

Finally on to the Recap

So we continue our playtesting two new Death is the New Pink projects I’m working on.  The first is Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass and the second is The Forever Dungeon.

Returning Players

Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Muscle Up! for being human- I am the Bringer of Death– When you kill a target you are able to make another attack (this can go on and on if you keep killing the target).

Starting Equipment– Scythe, Vial of Poison, Flashbang Powder Pouch, Human, Believes Sculpting Their Mashed Potatoes Means Something, Doodad (Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Princess)

Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Prince(ss): There once was a spoiled prince(ss) (or maybe he/she was just really sad) and he/she cried and cried and blah blah blah.  Anyways, these tears are magically frozen and when one is thrown at a target they must succeed a BAD save or become frozen for 2d6 rounds.  If the target is at 0 HP and fails their save, they are permanently frozen.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

John– Human- Cheshire- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Muscle Up! for being human- Ninja– You can hide in shadows that normal people could not.  Also when you make a successful Back Attack (pg XX) you add your level as bonus damage.

Starting Equipment- Short Spear, Sling, Epic-Looking Helmet Made of Antlers, Necklace of Monster Teeth, Human, Fierce and Wild-looking, Killer (Muscle Up!)

Chad– Half-orc- BJ Orc (friends call him Bjorc)- Level Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich

Race Stuff: Increase your BAD to 13 if less was rolled.  Fearless: You ain’t afraid of shit. You are immune to fear effects.  Two-handed Fighter: You grew up knowing how to handle large weapons.  When using two-handed melee weapons you gain +2 to damage, but doesn’t suffer +2 to attack (pg XX); Orkish-Resistance: Once per day you can become enraged, gaining Resistance (pg XX) to all physical damage for a number of rounds equal to half your BAD score (round down).  This is a free action on their turn.

Starting Equipment- Maul, Spiked Braces That Look Fucking Metal, Half-orc, Pouch Filled With Small Ceramic Animals, Doodad (Decoy Mixing Powder)

Decoy Mixing Powder: Add hot water and stir for two rounds- creates a squishy version of you that enemies will attack (and eat) unless they succeed on a MOXY save.  What flavor are you, roll 1d6: 1) strawberry; 2) lime; 3) orange; 4) raspberry; 5) blueberry; 6) pineapple mango banana (yummy).  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

New Players

Omar- Human- “Scotch” as name- always drunk.  Peg Leg (with secret compartment to hold booze)- Level Ye Olde Weenie.

Muscle Up! for being human- Ninja– You can hide in shadows that normal people could not.  Also when you make a successful Back Attack (pg XX) you add your level as bonus damage.

Starting Equipment: Crossbow, Crutch (functions as a Club), Thieves Tools, Doodad

Starting Doodad: Invisibility Cloak: While wearing this cloak you are invisible until you remove the cloak or you attack.  Your first attack made on an unaware target is made with Advantage.

Fletch- Dwarf- Called “Tooth”- Albino with a necklace of smelly cheese.  Tattoos on face and arms of robots being chopped into pieces and impaled.  

Race Stuff- Dwarf- You’re a gruff asshole.  You are stout, smell like shitty beer, and stand roughly 4 ½” tall.  You live for combat, drinking, arm wrestling, and stating the obvious to people as if they are all morons.  You can see in the dark up to 30’.  Stout: You are immune to all poisons; Know Stone: You know stone and can tell its secrets (MOXY roll with Advantage if roll is needed in a hurry- otherwise automatically succeed); Slayer: The thrill of combat excites you.  Each successful attack you make grants +1 to damage.  Resets after each fight.

Starting Equipment: Great Axe, and Chainmail Armor (ignores 2 points of damage per attack).

Muscle Up!: I am the Bringer of DEATH!: When you kill a target you are able to make another attack (this can go on and on if you keep killing the target).

Gene- Human- Tyoni- has long hair and exquisite pubic hair, a soul patch, and believes descendant from wolves. Claims to be From the Future (mentions a great city called “Scratchtown”).

Starting Equipment: Wheellock Rifle, Dagger, Flashbang Powder Pouch, and Doodad.

Starting Doodad: Friendly Symbiotes: These little buggers like you.  You swallow this small tape-worm looking creatures.  They heal you quickly, so you can get on with your Medieval Meat Baggy day!  Once per day they will heal you for 1d6 BAD or DSS damage.  If you ever take cold damage, they are killed.  Sometimes you hear them whispering stuff in your brain, like that you’re the herald and savior of all humanoids or a recipe for really delicious pizza sauce.

HOW: I’ve changed character creation in GMoYA slightly from the original DitNP and Into the Odd.  Instead of consulting your strongest attribute and your HP against a chart, just roll 1d100 and consult the table- this gives a 100 different options and allowed me to insert a decent number of race options (i.e., dwarf, elf, halfling, and half-orc- three each, I think- the rest are all human).  The starter package highlights race, quirk/descriptor, unique starting item/equipment, and whether you start with a Muscle Up! or a Doodad.

The group started at Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor after a two weeks of debauchery and laziness.

Liam, Chad, and John rolled on what happened to them between sessions (as they were in the first session).

Liam found some random equipment.  Chad puked on Ol’ Gin (regular at Nasty Mimi’s), and John got black out drunk.

What Happened Between Sessions- Death is the New Pink- Going Medieval on Yo Ass

While the group was drinking, a scraggly pirate came up to them and introduced himself as Slim Jim.  He heard tales that Liam, John, and Chad had found the Know Know Bird (a smarmy/know-it-all Pink Flamingo with a pink mullet) in the Forever Dungeon.  For an escort through the Forever Dungeon and finding the Know Know Bird, Slim Jim was willing to give them the location of a powerful Doodad, The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall.  

The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall: The staff of the great living tree Glamglug Glamall is known for its expert craftsmanship, beautifully etched runes, oh and its ability to summon a massive hand out of the ground that grabs people (sometimes it can get a little pervy).  When the staff is stabbed into the soil, the user can summon forth a 10’ high wooden hand with jagged bark fingernails and shoots of branches at random spots.  A target must make a DSS save (with Disadvantage) to avoid becoming ensnared by the hand.  The hand remains until the staff is pulled from the ground or the sun sets.  The user can command the hand to crush a target for 1d6 damage per round.    The ensnared target can make a new DSS save each round to break free.  This can be used once per day, however a Medieval Meat Bag can attempt to force the staff to work additional times by passing a MOXY save.

The group agreed.  Fletch hired a mercenary (which had better stats than nearly ALL of them) and they headed to the Forever Dungeon.

HOW: I am designing the Forever Dungeon to be run with zero prep and using die drop charts, tables, and Luck rolls (roll 1d6- if the result is 1-3, it favors the GM/monsters, if the result is 4-6 it favors the players), etc. to be the determining factor rather than me constantly making ultimate decisions.

Kelvin Green and I are working hard to develop this.  Kelvin is doing the art and (along with myself) coming up with zany rooms and fun!  We will have more news on this in the near future!

Here’s info on the Forever Dungeon and how I handle Looting the Body.

Entrance– The band of Medieval Meat Bags walked through a hallway and came to a door at the opposite end.  Nothing of interest encountered.  Liam opened the door.

The Room of the Talking Cow- The group walked into a room with a small hillock on the ground with a cow chewing on some grass.  Omar hobbled into the room and looked at the cow.

The cow raised its head, “Oh…  Hello.”

Omar blinked at it and then put on his invisibility cloak and walked away, not wanting to deal with what just happened.  The cow looked around for a second and then focused on Gene, “Oh… Hello.”

The group talked with the cow, finding out its name is Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo and that he is a magical cow.  He had a quest for the brave Medieval Meat Bags- Find the Heavy Metal Wizard and convince him to throw a concert for Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo’s 13th birthday.  In exchange he offered the group milk from his udders (hey!  Fuck you- he’s a magical cow- he can make milk too, ok?!).

“You’ll have to take it from the right udder- my left has an infection.  Sorry about that.”  The group each got a glass of magical milk (heals 1d12 HP and 1d6 BAD instantly).  While the cow was busy milking itself, Omar snuck up and took some infected milk.  Since he’s drunk, he forgot to label which is which.

The group then asked if the cow knew where the Know Know Bird was.  The cow failed his MOXY roll and told them the Know Know Bird was off to the south west.  In actuality, the Know Know Bird was in the room directly north (heh).

The group headed west.

The Treasure Room- The group found a large treasure chest that was cursed with magical aura.  John was able to circumvent the trap and found some Gold Bits and a few other baubles, one of which was an expensive spy glass.

After everything was looted the group headed west.

The Room of Deadly Pink Flowers

foreverdungeontestroom0011

This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group came into this room and saw a wall of beautiful pink flowers and a skeleton entangled in the vines, two flowers popping out of the eye sockets.

Liam went over and used his scythe to cull the evil flowers.  They attacked!  The group made quick work of the vines and they withered and died.  Giving high fives and epic bro-like chest bumps, the group headed south.

The Prison Cage Room

The group walked into this room and saw four rusty cages suspended from the ceiling.  Two were empty, one had a skeleton, and the other a human.  He leaned against the cage the moment the group entered.  “Water…” His voice croaked.

Liam walked over and gave him water without hesitation and then freed him.  He got to the ground and stretched and squealed with laughter.   Liam now had a steadfast friend!

l

“Who are you?” Asked Liam.

“My name is Mad Mulligan!”

“Mad Mulligan?” asked John.

“Well yes- you know- because of copyright laws and all that- can never be too careful.  Anyways- I am the greatest swordsman who’s ever lived.”

And thus Mad Mulligan joined the party.

While this was going on, Fletch decided to investigate the rest of the room and found a secret compartment with a small treasure chest.   The bricks were off colored with a fine dust around them.  Fletch took a stick and touched the bricks to move it.  Nothing happened.  He then touched it with his hands.  Green light enveloped his body as he dehydrated and was reduced to dust!  His belongings clattered to the ground.

Mad Mulligan looked over at the noise, “oh hey!  Be careful…  I saw a Mystic put a disintegrating curse over there- oh… too late.”

With that- Fletch took on the role of his Mercenary and the group moved north back through the Pink Flower Room and north again.

HOW: Fletch said he wanted to look around the room for secrets.  I made a Luck roll and it favored the party, so yeah- there was a secret compartment.  I rolled what was in the secret compartment and it was 1d3 random items and some Gold Bits.  Then I made a Luck roll to see if it was trapped- that didn’t favor the players- so it was.

The Room With the Toxic Gelatin

The room was dark and nasty.  Burbling, wet slapping noises echoed off the walls.  Chad and Gene lit their torches and saw a green ooze with the skeleton of a dwarf inside it (this was Kevin’s character who died last session in the Make Out Room).  Gene lost his shit and smacked his face into a wall, stunning himself.  John grabbed him and started backing out of the room.  Omar and Chad rushed in to beat the shit out of the thing.  Omar put on his invisibility cloak (very Harry Potter-esque, eh?!) and moved up behind it and delivered a damaging blow with his crutch.  The ooze turned around and a pseudo-pod lashed out and smashed Omar in the face, melting his head, killing him.

BOOM!  Two Medieval Meat Bags down!

Chad then delivered the killing blow and the thing burbled one last time and then popped and dissolved.

Clambering out of the rubble in the corner was Omar’s new character, Cleave-land!  A 6’9″ hulking mass of muscles.  Human.  Lil brain/bro-type with shreds of clothing, long hair, and beautiful brown skin and tribal tats.

Starting Muscle Up!Fighter: Gain a second attack per round.

After dusting themselves off, the group headed north.

The Library Room

foreverdungeontestroom0010

This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group found a room filled with pink bookcases and a skeleton “reading” a book.  John moved over to the skeleton and looked at the book.  The writing was illegible and hummed with electric blue energy.  The skeleton turned and looked at John, “Do you MIND…?  It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder.”

“Oh sorry.”  Said John.  “Say…. you don’t know where the Know Know Bird is, do you?”

“Oh that bird…  yes- I believe he’s over to the east somewhere.”

“Thanks.  I’ll let you get back to your book.”

The others searched for secrets and Liam found a small compartment with some gold.  Chad took some books on vegetarian orc burgers, a book on knitting, and a book on the history of the Forever Dungeon.

With that the group headed east.

The Puuuurrrrfect Room

 

foreverdungeontestroom0003

This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

The group saw that the room was empty except for a large metal grate in the center.  “Oh I am staying FAR away from that!” John said and started edging down towards the southern door.

 

As John got halfway through the room they heard a voice issue from the grate and a smoky cat apparition flowed through the grate.

“Noooowwww what tasty morsels do we have here?”

HOW: This room image was inspired by the cat smoke gif- Kelvin did a great job capturing that!

Cat Smoke

The group talked to the cat creature for a few minutes- asking about the Know Know Bird.  The cat creature became indignant.  “Oh.  Him… Ever since someone let him out of his cage (which happened to be John, Chad, and Liam), he’s been walking around all free and acting like he owns the place.  Oh excuuuuuuuuse me that he has a fabulous pink mullet- what a jerk.”

Chad, Liam, and John eyed one another nervously.

“Why look for him?  I’d make a much better friend than him!”

“I’ll be your friend,” Chad said.  “We aren’t looking for him to be friends.  We were hired to find him by that guy (points at Slim Jim who is hiding in the back of everyone).”

“Oh…  well then.  Good luck.  See you soon!”  The cat reached smoky arms and paws out and stretched.  Huge silver scythe-like claws manifested and then retracted.  The cat creature retreated back into the grate.

The group decided to head South.

The Spring Spike Trap Room

The room was filled with white and off-white checkered floor tiles.  John used his sling and sack full of colorful rocks to test the tiles.  When a rock landed on the white tiles, nothing happened.  When one landed on the off-white, 3′ high spikes shot through the ground for a moment and then retreated.

“Well shit…” Said John.  John decided to take his time getting across the room to the eastern door.

As John made it to the door, the group heard a gross squealing from behind them.  A horrific giant pig with rotting flesh and foot long blades poking out of its hide walked into The Puuuurrrrfect Room. 

HOW: Since John stated that he was taking his time, I rolled a random encounter- rolled a 1 (encounter time- first time all session!!!).  I then rolled on my table to create a Nefario on the fly and rolled the words “rotting”, “Blade-covered”, and “Pig”.  BOOM!  There’s the enemy.  Gave it 10 in all stats and rolled 1d3 to determine it’s HD (I rolled a 3).  I rolled 3d6 and it started with 15 HP.

Chad used his shield to push the pig creature into the spike trap room, causing it to set off a trap and take 8 points of damage.  Omar jumped into the room to attack it and failed his Dodging Some Shit roll- impaling himself on the spikes (losing his left eye in the process) and falling unconscious.

The pig creature made it’s way back to Chad and headbutted his ass hard (critical success).  Down went Chad- unconscious and possibly dead.  John then mock squealed at the pig and enraged it, causing it to come back into the spike trap room.  Again, it failed its MOXY save and was impaled on a trap twice, killing it.  John walked back and revived Omar and Chad.  The group headed through the eastern door and found…

The Room of the Know Know Bird

Sitting in a dapper nest atop a ruined cage was a regal pink flamingo.

“Oh hey you guys!  How’s going on?  Not many people come to see me twice!”

HOW: For some reason the Know Know Bird is a mix of Christopher Walken and Joe Pesci when I voice him…. Whatever- but it’s fun.

The group exchanged banter and allowed Slim Jim to ask his question- which surmounted to “where’s my wife?”

“Oh- she died.  In the Calamity.  Pretty horrible too, ya know.  I mean shit wasn’t kind to her.”

“But- she had a place in The Tanks!” Cried Slim Jim.

“Yeah well- your wife thought that it was a form of governmental overstepping and control and skipped out- figuring she would actually just become brainwashed.”

Slim Jim needed booze and wanted to leave.

Omar had never seen the Know Know Bird and asked for the history of the Forever Dungeon.

“Oh- that’s interesting.  During the Calamity some entities made this place- and they made me.  Are they gods…?  Is this an experiment upon which our benefactors and creators watch us repeatedly engage in the same dance and routine over and over again…?  Is it for their humor?  Is this merely a dream, repeated as an example of the futility of attempting to escape ones fate…?”

Omar scratched his head- the answer too confusing for him.

“Oh hey guys- You know I’ve decided to branch out now- you know- gotta market myself better!  Have a fortune cookie.  Crack that sucker open and get lucky!”

Aside: The fortune cookies give Advantage on one Luck roll.  

With that the group decided to do one more room and headed South…

Back to The Room of the Talking Cow.

There was quite a bit of laughter at the fact that if they had just headed north they would have found the damned bird right away…

So the group said hi to Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo again and headed east.

The Man With Tumorous Growth Room

this-amazingly-creepy-art-looks-like-something-out-of-hellraiser

This guy was in the center of the room, covered in these growths.  His moans were pitiful, indecent, and horrific.

The group launched into combat and… got really really hurt (except for John).  By this point we were down to just John, Omar, and Chad… and Omar and Chad were already hurting pretty bad.

Omar went unconscious again.  John and Chad finished the creature off and revived Omar.  When he came to, he had gained a mutation- and oddly enough I rolled whole body and covered in tumorous growths…  Omar lost a permanent 4 MOXY, however if he touches a target they must succeed a BAD save or be stunned for 1d4 rounds.

With that the group went to Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor to carouse and blot out the terribleness of the adventure.

Carousing Results

John- Didn’t need much and just drank a little.  Ended up streaking through the Flotsam square and got arrested and had to pay a fine.

Omar- helped a small orphan from getting beat up and now has a loyal companion named Sonny Jim.  He also got a magical tattoo of a broken heart on his chest.  It allows him to cast the Mystic spell Recipe For Hate once and then it will fade away.

Recipe for Hate:  You touch an ally, causing them to become consumed with rage and hate.  All attacks are made with Advantage and they gain an extra 1 armor point.  The ally will attack enemies first, however if there are no more enemies and they are still under the effects of the spell they must succeed a MOXY save (made with Disadvantage) or attack one of their own.  Lasts 1 minute.

Chad- Pissed himself and will now be ridiculed for the next session (Disadvantage on MOXY saves with bartering/schmoozing), now has an animal friend (a pig- go figure), and joined a protest- it was boring- just like his life.

Next session this Wednesday

The Graveyard

Graveyard

 

Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)“Here lies the Dwarf With No Name, he done got dissolved by a puddle of goo- so pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)“Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)“No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

The Final Map of the Session

The Forever Dungeon

Advertisements

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Two- Making Out in the Forever Dungeon

Yesterday I got to run my RL group (based in Rochester, NY) through my upcoming Death is the New Pink project, DitNP: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass! and the Forever Dungeon.  Last post I mentioned that I was playtesting these rules and gave some info on the Forever Dungeon and GMoYA.

Players

Liam- Elf- Oberon- Spouts off cliche life lessons- Ye Olde Weenie (level)

Race Stuff- Elf- You are tall, standing up to 7’ high, gorgeous, haughty, and just plain smug as fuck.  People get annoyed with your constant reminders of how great the Elven Kingdoms once were, your stupid Elven pride, your insanely long lifespan, and your epic snootiness.  Race Stuff: You can see in low-light conditions as if it were daylight up to 60’.  Arcane-Blooded: Roll for one spell from the Mystic spell list (pg XX).  You can cast the spell 1d3 times per day (roll the die each morning to see how many times you can cast.  This ability stacks if you take/have the Mystic Muscle Up!).  Gorgeous Demeanor: You are beautiful and you know it.  Once per day you can automatically succeed at a MOXY save for influencing someone.  Keen Eyes: You roll with Advantage on spotting secret doors (if a roll is necessary.  Otherwise automatically succeed).

Archer Muscle Up- Fire two shots at once at one target (if attack is successful, roll damage with Advantage) or attack two different targets at once (roll attack with Disadvantage) with a bow or darts.

Starting Equipment: Jar full of honey, bow, sword, and steadfast hawk (pet).

Kevin- Dwarf- Dwarf With No Name- Pierced nipples and a “Get off my lawn attitude”- Ye Olde Winnie (level)

Race Stuff- Dwarf- You’re a gruff asshole.  You are stout, smell like shitty beer, and stand roughly 4 ½” tall.  You live for combat, drinking, arm wrestling, and stating the obvious to people as if they are all morons.

Race Stuff: You can see in the dark up to 30’.  Stout: You are immune to all poisons; Know Stone: You know stone and can tell its secrets (MOXY roll with Advantage if roll is needed in a hurry- otherwise automatically succeed); Slayer: The thrill of combat excites you.  Each successful attack you make grants +1 to damage.  Resets after each fight.

Starting Equipment: Morning Star, Handaxe, and Doodad (Mohawk goop).

Mohawk Goop: Sticky hair product that keeps your mohawk looking awesomely exceptional and hardcore!  When applied, it will dye your mohawk the color of your choosing.  You have 10 applications of this stuff!

Tyler- Human- Joey Crab- Blames others for his own mistakes- Ye Olde Weenie (level)

Muscle Up for being Human- Stabbing Things- Increase damage with melee weapons to 1d8.

Starting Muscle Up- Second Wind- Once per day you can muster your strength and instantly regain 50% of your HP while in combat.

Starting Equipment: Morning Star, Shield (absorbs two chosen attacks before breaking), and Lard Popper Jug (throw and creates a nasty slippery mess).

Sammi- Human- Sammi- Pink mohawk and punk rock sneer- Ye Olde Weenie (level)

Aside: Sammi thought I had said “Punk Rock Smear”… So for awhile there were jokes about less-than-reputable doctors performing punk rock smears in seedy back alley dens.

Muscle Up! for being Human: I Have a Friend: You’ve attracted the attention of someone. When you are drop to 5 or fewer HP, make a Luck roll. If it favors you, this friend shows up, fully loaded with a wheellock pistol, a short sword, a shield, and a kick-ass attitude, to save your sorry butt.  Roll Friend’s ability scores.  They start at level 2.  Roll a Starter Package (pg XX).  The Friend levels when player’s Meat Bag does.  If your Friend dies, you attract another after one month (they start at level 2).  It’s because you are THAT cool.

Starting Equipment: Spiked Chain, Spiked Leather Armor, and Doodad (Vial of Hemogoblin Blood).

Vial of Hemogoblin Blood: This blood is taken from the foul Hemogoblin.  When splashed on a target they suffer 2d6 damage and succeed on a BAD save to avoid becoming intoxicated by oxygen (suffering Disadvantage to all rolls for 1d4 hours).  If the target suffers critical damage from the blood, they must make a BAD save to avoid developing massive painful hives and exploding 1d4 rounds later.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

Let’s Start…

Entrance– The band of Medieval Meat Bags walked through a hallway and came to a door at the opposite end.  Nothing of interest encountered.  Dwarf With No Name opened the door.

The Bowling Ball Room

Dwarf With No Name opened the door and saw a dead body in the middle of the floor.  Peering into the room, Dwarf With No Name saw that the bodies’ head had been smashed by a pink bowling ball.  Dwarf With No Name ran into the room and started tearing off the plate mail and began putting it on.  Sammi and Oberon heard a giggle from the ceiling.

foreverdungeontestroom0001

This is a sketch piece for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

Upside down on the ceiling was an emaciated human-looking creature with saddle bags draped over it’s stomach.  It began pulling a bowling ball out of the saddle bags and let it fall on Dwarf With No Name- who took 3 points of damage (ouch!  Kevin’s character only has 4 HP).

Oberon quickly fired off an arrow and killed the creature, which fell with a clunk on the ground.  Dwaft With No Name finished putting on the boss plate armor and the group took the five remaining bowling balls, and headed west.

The Tumor Thing That Cries Like a Baby Room

Joey Crab opened the door and peered inside and saw a disgusting mound of flesh sitting in the room.  Tyler rolled a bowling ball at it, hit it, and it began to cry like a baby, so they shut the door hurriedly and marched east.

The Apple on a Stool Room

Sammi opened the door the to room and saw a single wooden stool in the middle of the room with a crisp-looking red apple on top.  Sammi aimed a bowling ball at the apple and let go.  The apple was knocked off the stool and fell to the ground, bursting into a bunch of glittering Gold Bits (34 in all).  Sammi quickly gathered them up.

foreverdungeontestroom0007

Sketch for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

As Sammi gathered up the coins, the rest of the Medieval Meat Bags watched as a small rickety tree grew from the stool seat and budded.  Dwarf With No Name excited picked up the stool and watched sadly as the tree withered, died, and fell off.  He still took the stool.

The group headed back to the Bowling Ball Room and then headed north.

The Three Doodad Room

The band of Medieval Meat Bags discovered a raised stairway with a dais.  On the dais was three items- A six pack of tall can beer, a jar of grape jelly, and a mallet.

foreverdungeontestroom0009

Sketch for the Forever Dungeon- art by Kelvin Green

Dwarf With No Name took the mallet, which ended up being a Box-o-Mallet (think Who Framed Roger Rabbit).  Squeeze the handle and a boxing glove on a spring pops out and punches a Nefario on the face for 1d6 damage.

Oberon took the six pack of beer and discovered that it was actually Mead of Whoop Ass!  Mead of Whoop Ass: YOU FEEL SUPER PUMPED AND EXTREME!  LIKE THE ENTIRE WORLD IS YOUR PLAYGROUND AND YOU HAVE TO SHOUT SO YOU CAN ANNOUNCE YOU’RE AWESOMENESS AND YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKES YOU ALTHOUGH PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY JUST ANNOYED BY YOUR LOUD VOICE!  Your next four attacks deal max damage if they land successfully.  Suffer Disadvantage to all MOXY saves for the next hour due to the crash.

Joey Crab took the jar of Jelly and I called on him to make a successful MOXY save, which he failed and began snarfing down the jelly.  I then asked for another BAD save to begin the process of the Jelly Walker (see below) consuming his innards, but the motherfucker critically succeeded.

Well… Joey Crab coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed until he felt a cracking and then coughed up a huge pile of grape jelly and one of his ribs.  The puddle of jelly moved and became a blob creature with the rib acting as its shoulders, tiny gooey arms dangling from the bone.

Joey Crab then made peace with the creature, and gained a companion- THE GRAPENATOR!!!

With that the group headed west.

 

 

The Jelly Walker

Jelly Monster

Jelly Walker piece by Evlyn for DitNP

BAD 10, DSS 14, MOXY 6, HP 10, AP 3
DRIVEN TO BE BURBBLE, GURGLE, OOZE, AND RUIN YOUR SAMMICH TIME!
Jelly Walkers are terrible creatures that ruin even the best PB&J!  Jars of jelly that have sat on shelves for the decades (or has it been centuries?) since the world fell have grown sour and become full of hatred.  When a Meat Bag opens these jars of jelly, they must succeed a MOXY save or be enticed to eat the entire thing!  Each day the Meat Bag must make a BAD save or suffer 1d10 BAD damage as the Jelly Walker consumes their insides.  Once a Meat Bag’s BAD reaches 0, their flesh dissolves and the Jelly Walker rises from the skeletal remains.  The creature’s sticky pseudopods cause the skeleton’s hands and legs to move, like a creepy marionette.  A Jelly Walker can attack with its tongue of a thousand jelly flavors (1d6 damage and the target must succeed a DSS save to avoid becoming coated in sticky jelly and stuck to the ground).  A Jelly Walker will swallow stuck targets and digest them in their stomach.  Jelly Walkers are capable of climbing vertical surfaces and love hiding in corners to spring attacks on fleshy, super-tasty Meat Bags!

The Make Out Room 

The group opened the door and saw it was shrouded in darkness and a strange, indecent noise echoed off the walls.  Sammi threw a lit torch into the room and saw two large heads on opposite walls, their tongues stretching 15′ out of their mouths, intertwined and twirling, while they moaned in pleasure.  The floor was covered in a gross green goo.

Forever Dungeon 1

 

Aside: I KNEW I wanted to put this in the dungeon when I came across it looking for inspirational  images for a dungeon.  It reeeeeeaaaaaallllly crept my group out- so yay!

Dwarf With No Name decided to enter the room.  I had Kevin make a Luck roll (which he failed) to see if the room had a hazard…  it did.  When Dwarf With No Name stepped on the ground, the goo started raising up and eventually formed a lime-flavored Toxic Gelatin.

 

Forever Dungeon 2

The fight was over before it really began.  Dwarf With No Name critically failed his attack roll and instead of attacking, head butted the Toxic Gelatin, dying instantly and started dissolving.  The group closed the door and headed back through the Three Doodad Room and to the east.  Kevin made a new character.

Kevin- Human– Human With No Name- Smells of Cheap Wine and Cheaper Perfume- Ye Olde Winnie (level)

Muscle Ups!:  Bullseye: Increase damage with ranged weapons to 1d8.

Mechanic: Really good at fixing machines and automatons.

Starting Gear: Wheellock pistol and broken wine bottle (as dagger).

The Ray Gun Room

The group entered the room and discovered a futuristic ray gun on a dais.  There were two bell-looking things on opposite ends of the room, pointed at the Dais.  The group began to try to fiddle with them (including hitting them with bowling balls) until Human With No Name (gotta introduce him somehow) burst into the room.  Seeing allies he shouted, “GOBLINS!”

Fourteen goblins began hassling the band of Medieval Meat Bags.  The group took some hard licks, but eventually killed 7 of the little fuckers, causing the remaining 7 to flee back into the dungeon (oh and Kevin nearly died… again).  The group looted the goblins, each getting a crazy/random item.

With that the group headed back to Flotsam to Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor to carouse and regroup.

Oberon was in an epic bar brawl gaining people’s respect, but then made a drunk idiot of himself and now people are embarrassed for him.   He also won over a dog and now has two animal friends.

Sammi beat the shit out of ruffian that was hassling some piss ass NPC.  She’s now got a buddy.  Then she went all punk rock and graffitied a wall- cause she’s a rebel!

Joey Crabs did drugs and has a dose of Nightshade Goblin Nuggets left to smoke (gives you the use of one Mystic spell when smoked)!

Human With No Name found a rug that really tied his room together.

We then leveled everyone up to Ye Olde Lean Bacon Sammich and called it a night!

I am really happy with the DitNP: GMoYA rules and feel!  It’s quick, easy, and deadly!

Below is what the dungeon looked like by the end of the session.

 

IMG_4588


Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session One- Into the Forever Dungeon

Yesterday we kicked off playtesting two new Death is the New Pink projects I’m working on.  The first is Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass and the second is The Forever Dungeon.  I did a post the other day with a little info on DitNP: GMoYA and The Forever Dungeon.

Players

Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Level Ye Olde Weenie

Muscle Up! for being human- I am the Bringer of Death– When you kill a target you are able to make another attack (this can go on and on if you keep killing the target).

Starting Equipment– Scythe, Vial of Poison, Flashbang Powder Pouch, Human, Believes Sculpting Their Mashed Potatoes Means Something, Doodad (Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Princess)

Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Prince(ss): There once was a spoiled prince(ss) (or maybe he/she was just really sad) and he/she cried and cried and blah blah blah.  Anyways, these tears are magically frozen and when one is thrown at a target they must succeed a BAD save or become frozen for 2d6 rounds.  If the target is at 0 HP and fails their save, they are permanently frozen.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

John– Human- Cheshire- Level Ye Olde Weenie

Muscle Up! for being human- Ninja– You can hide in shadows that normal people could not.  Also when you make a successful Back Attack (pg XX) you add your level as bonus damage.

Starting Equipment- Short Spear, Sling, Epic-Looking Helmet Made of Antlers, Necklace of Monster Teeth, Human, Fierce and Wild-looking, Killer (Muscle Up!)

 

Chad– Half-orc- BJ Orc (friends call him Bjorc)- Level Ye Olde Weenie

Race Stuff: Increase your BAD to 13 if less was rolled.  Fearless: You ain’t afraid of shit. You are immune to fear effects.  Two-handed Fighter: You grew up knowing how to handle large weapons.  When using two-handed melee weapons you gain +2 to damage, but doesn’t suffer +2 to attack (pg XX); Orkish-Resistance: Once per day you can become enraged, gaining Resistance (pg XX) to all physical damage for a number of rounds equal to half your BAD score (round down).  This is a free action on their turn.

Starting Equipment- Maul, Spiked Braces That Look Fucking Metal, Half-orc, Pouch Filled With Small Ceramic Animals, Doodad (Decoy Mixing Powder)

Decoy Mixing Powder: Add hot water and stir for two rounds- creates a squishy version of you that enemies will attack (and eat) unless they succeed on a MOXY save.  What flavor are you, roll 1d6: 1) strawberry; 2) lime; 3) orange; 4) raspberry; 5) blueberry; 6) pineapple mango banana (yummy).  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

Quick Start

Nasty Mimi

We made characters and then started with a summary of the group getting a drink at Nasty Mimi’s Hooch Parlor and figuring out how to make some quick gold bits.

 

The group of green behind the ears Medieval Meat Bags decided it would be best to Forever Dungeon for their first official run and get some Doodads, booze, and Gold Bits.

 

What is The Forever Dungeon

No one knows who built the Forever Dungeon, and let’s face it- no Medieval Meat Bag worth their weight in smoked sausage gives a shit.  It’s a twisting labyrinth of rooms; some constructed of drab grey stone, others of smooth obsidian, others made of large vibrantly green jade bricks, and others of cool metal with alien technology infused throughout- so on and so forth.

Riddles and puzzles, traps, Nefarios, Gold Bits, and most importantly, Doodads, can be found throughout the rooms of the Forever Dungeon.  Medieval Meat Bag after Medieval Meat Bag runs into this dangerous dungeon in the hopes of striking it rich or nabbing a powerful Doodad!  Many don’t make it out, instead ending up a bloody smear on the ground.

However, there’s a couple catches (isn’t there always?): First- almost every time the Forever Dungeon is vacated of Medieval Meat Bags, it seems to rearrange itself (that’s just mean, right?!), so it makes mapping the damned thing impossible!  Second- you may think you made it big with a bunch of powerful Doodads, but there is a pretty good chance they are illusions that only function when you’re in the Forever Dungeon.  The moment you walk out the door: poof, they’re gone!  Not all Doodads are illusions though, and that’s what keeps Medieval Meat Bags going back, time and time again- like rats in a maze hitting a button for a fucking food pellet!

Into the Dungeon

Entrance– The band of Medieval Meat Bags walked through a hallway and came to a door at the opposite end.  Nothing of interest encountered.  Bjorc opened the door.

Dead Elf Room- The door opened and the group saw the dead body of an elf; his chest crushed with a large object.  Morty looted the body and found a collection of colorful rocks.  He sighed and gave Cheshire, who had a sling.

The group headed east.

Aside: I used my Loot Die Drop Table to generate any objects found on the body and it worked really well.  By telling the players that they could choose how long they search the body, which allows them to possibly find more goodies, but comes with increasing risk worked! 

The Creepy Jack in the Box Room- As Bjorc entered the room a lazy, creepy version of Maple Leaf Rag echos through the chamber.

A large box is in the room and the handle is turning slowly.  The music ends and a giant Jack pops out of the box.  Bjorc goes to investigate and the Jack attacks, smacking the shit out of him.  Morty is caught off guard and is unable to act this round.  The fight took Bjorc out of commission (although he didn’t die) and they were able to finish off the Jack (sounds dirty) after a few rounds.  It was a good first combat and a refresher on DitNP combat.

The group searched the room and decided to head north.

The Mirror Room- In this room was a dusty mirror with a pink frame.  The group tried to avoid the room.  Morty looked in the mirror and saw himself even more awesome than he already is, gaining +1 to MOXY for the session.  Cheshire avoided the thing altogether and Bjorc looked in it and saw himself as a haggard son of a bitch, but suffered nothing else.

The group headed east.

The Room of the Three Doodads- The group walked into this room and saw doors leading west and north and along the southern wall, three dais, upon each rested a Doodad.  One held a maul with a pink handle and skulls with spikes coming out of the eye sockets on the flat parts of the hammer.   Another held a viking helmet with horns.  The horns didn’t end in tips however, but were flat and had circular openings.  The final one housed a laser gun.  The group talked among themselves and decided who would get what.

Morty went after the helmet and picked it up with no problem and got: Dwarven Horned Party Helmet: The greatest and heartiest of warriors don this helmet.  The copper metal dome protects the noggin, while the elongated bull horns give it a fierce appearance. The horns are magically enchanted to always be full of tasty Dwarven Brew. The horns can be turned upside down so the tips are pointed towards the wearer’s mouth, allowing easy hands-free consumption of the brew.

Chesire went after the maul and nabbed it and got: The Mangler: This maul’s (pg XX) attacks always land in the targets genitals. The target must succeed a BAD save or be stunned for 1 round. If the target takes critical damage, it’s bad. Really bad.

Bjorc went to the ray gun and went to grab it, but his hand passed through it.  A hologram!  He was able to jump back just in time to avoid the lightning bolts that would have fried his ass to crispy chicken level.

The group headed west.

The Fish Hook Room- The group entered the room and saw a human-sized fishhook.  On the end was a parcel.  Bjorc couldn’t contain himself and jumped on the hook and attempted to wrestle the package free.  He felt the hook jerk and was able to let go just in time as it disappeared through the ceiling of the dungeon, which rippled like a stone hitting the water, and then went still again.

Gif

The group moved to the north door and Bjorc, in a fit of pouting rage after losing the package, kicked it open.  The loud noise attracted the attention of a Nefario in the south room.

The southern door crashed opened and a massive orc lumbered into the room, carrying a shield, a two-handed maul in one hand, and came to fuck shit up.

Orc

Orc

BAD 16, DSS 10, MOXY 8, HP 16, AP 2

DRIVEN TO INTIMIDATE AND BE A TERRIFYING BAD ASS!

Orcs are massive creatures with green skin, beady red eyes, giant tusks, ham-sized fists that they use to punch the shit out of soft weak Medieval Meat Bags (1d8 damage), intimidating spikey armor, shields (pg XX), and over-sized weapons (almost as if they are overcompensating for something, right?!  Weapons deal 1d10 damage).  Orcs smell like garbage and death and take pride in that.  Orcas are immune to fear effects and once per combat an orc gains resistance to all physical damage for 1 turn.

Aside: One thing that has always bothered me about orcs in D&D is they are portrayed as huge vicious fighters- and they are- for the first level (maybe two levels), but then after that- they are kinda meh cannon fodder.  I want orcs to be a scourge and something that’s terrifying for a Medieval Meat Bag at Ye Olde Weenie Level or even up to Grand Poobah Meat Bag Level.  Based on the fight last night- I think I achieved this.

The group set to wailing away on the orc.  This fight was fucking hard as hell.  Cheshire got off a hit in the opening round with the Mangler, busting the orc right in the balls, stunning him.  This let the group get some attacks in with Advantage.  Eventually the orc started swinging and Cheshire went down (but didn’t die), and Bjorc was nearly killed.  Morty blinded the orc and snuck up on him and got a back attack and critically succeeded, killing him.

The group looted the body, took the shield (shields absorb the damage of two attacks before being made useless) and went north.

The Room of the “Know Know Bird”

In this room was a large flamingo in a wooden cage.  It talked.  The group approached it carefully.  It asked to be let out.  The group asked why they should do that.

“Ah come on guys.  You lemme out- you get something in return.  I’m good for it.  You lemme out and I’ll answer one question each about the dungeon.  My name is the Know Know Bird.  I know shit, know what I’m sayin’.”

Aside: I did a voice and motivations very similar to a character in Hawaii 5.0 for some reason.  Scumbag guy with a mullet.  I said the flamingo had a pink mullet…  Why not, right?

After the group let the Know Know Bird out, they asked their questions for information, and moved on.

The group went west.

Crazy Helga’s Den

Bjorc asked where he could get some supplies.  The Know Know Bird had pointed them to the western door, to Crazy Helga.

Crazy Helga

Crazy Helga collects stuff.  She wanders The Forever Dungeon and picks up stuff from the dead bodies.  She sells stuff too… for a decent price or a future favor.

Bjorc bought some Healing Vapor Rubs, Morty bought a book called, “Dum Dum’s Guide on How to Pick up Chicks” and Cheshire bought some drugs: Nightshade Goblin Nuggets (150 GB, drug): Smoked, allows you to use one Mystic power once (roll randomly for power) and gives you Advantage on saves against Mystic abilities for 1d4 hours.  Once drug has worn off make a MOXY roll.  If save fails, permanently reduce MOXY by 1.

The group headed back through the Know Know Birds room to the east to find the wizard that held an invisibility cloak.

Snail Boy Room

In this room the group fought an anthropomorphic snail creature that had the legs of a child and the upper body and shell of a snail with hands with long claws.  The group was getting their butt kicked by the creature, but eventually hit it (it only had 1 HP and a 9 BAD score).  They killed it.

Snail Man

During the fight Cheshire had smoked his drugs and could cast the spell Poison Heart

Poison Heart: You remove the heart from a dead body and work necrotic magics into it.  The heart becomes rotten, vile, and really ichy!  You can throw this nasty piece of corpse meat at another target, who must succeed a BAD save or suffer 1d20 Bad damage.  The heart explodes upon impact and releases poison cloud in 10’ radius for 2d6 damage to all (no save).

Cheshire then cast the spell on the heart from the Snail Boy and Bjorc cut off the creature’s shell.

The group headed east.

Dead Head Room- The group came across three severed heads and another body nailed to the wall in this room.  Bjorc stuffed the three heads into the snail shell and they moved on east to the next room.

The Room of the Heavy Metal Wizard- Sitting on a metal throne was a wizard with a stupid pointy hat covered in stars and moons, petting an imp.  In his other hand was an epic guitar.

“Who dares enter the throne room of the Heavy Metal Wizard?!” The wizard held up the guitar and sparks shot from the neck!

Heavy Metal Wizard

I love this picture.  Found it here

The group talked with the wizard for a few minutes.  Bjorc offered the severed heads to the wizard.

“Those were my previous band mates!  They were fucking lame!  However… I do miss them.”  The wizard took the heads and put them on the throne, “you’re home now guys.”

Morty then offered a book on how to pick up chicks in exchange for his invisibility cloak.  The Heavy Metal Wizard asked to look through the book and then, if it held the promises Morty was making, he would offer up the cloak.  Morty agreed and handed the book over.

The Heavy Metal Wizard started thumbing through, “Oh… I see!  Yes.  It’s so simple!  You just have to pretend to give a shit about what they’re saying!  I get it now!  Oh yes!  Here- take the cloak!”

With the cloak in hand, the Heavy Metal Wizard created a portal for the group to head back to Flotsam.

The group caroused (that’s how you get back lost ability score points).

Bjork burnt down a shack (Cheshire saw him do it) and got a magical tattoo.

Cheshire joined a medieval bowling league and went on a drunken shopping spree, going in debt and buying a bunch of shit he didn’t need.

Morty got drunk and fell down a well for a few hours and found a hidden stash of Gold Bits and a few items in the process.

And that’s where we wrapped up the session for the night.

As I was doing with my Barrowmaze campaign, I will be running this for both my group concurrently and see how their shit fucks with one another!

IMG_4346

Here’s the final layout for the dungeon

Carousing Rules

Pink are positive outcomes, white are neutral or negative outcomes.

You can gamble 1, 2, or 3d6s.

Drop the number of dice you choose on the chart. If the die is on a line, it is moved into the box which the die occupies the most.

Add all the numbers together and x by 10. That’s how many Gold Bits you blew on your bender!

Death is the New Pink- Going Medieval on Yo Ass Carousing Table