Dr. Mac N’ Cheese’s Handy Dandy Hydroponics Clone-a-Nator- a Fancy Doodad Service for Death is the New Pink

Dr. Mac N’ Cheese’s Handy Dandy Hydroponics Clone-a-Nator!

This is for use with Death is the New Pink (but can be hacked to about anything, really).

 

“Now listen here my soft and squishy Meat Bag!  It’s a dangerous world out there!  Crazed raiders, inbred beasties, and other terrifying Nefarios lurk out in those wastes!  And all of them want to murder your face!  Now there is no shame in dyin’!  It happens!

 

However, don’t let dyin’ be the end of your life!  No siree, for those who can afford the small fee in Gold Bits (a pittance, really), you are guaranteed to be brought back to life in NEARLY the same shape and personality as you were!

 

Now let’s be honest, you aren’t exactly a winner right now anyways, and what’s the harm of random twitches, weird hairy moles, paranoid personality disorder, your skin turning blue, or hell even warts on your ass if it means you get a second shot at life, eh?!  Some of my best clients are on their third or fourth shot!

 

Now if you’re looking for a second shot at life, let Dr. Mac N’ Cheese take a look at your brain matter and get you suited up with a chip and you’ll be right as rain.  Careful, don’t sneeze now. “

 

Cloning

The life of a Meat Bag is short and brutal, however with cloning technology a life that was reduced to a bloody smear on the ground can be revitalized!  After spending 600 x Meat Bag level in GB (i.e., cloning a Weenie Meat Bag will cost 600, while cloning a Full Pound Meat Bag would cost 3,600), the Meat Bag has a copy of its DNA put into Dr. Mac N’ Cheese’s data banks and a chip is implanted in their brain.  At the point of death all memories, experiences, etc. are uploaded and stored.

 

Once Dr. Mac N’ Cheese has all he needs, he goes to work of growing a new you that will wait in stasis until you die a horrible death.  Once Dr. Mac N’ Cheese has received notification of your greasy demise, he uploads your consciousness into the clone.  You emerge from the stasis pod, covered in goo and smelling strangely of cinnamon and cloves, but otherwise unharmed.

 

Cloning isn’t without it’s risks however.  Each time a Meat Bag clones, there is the risk of cellular degradation.  Make a Luck roll for each stat.  If it favors you, there has been no degradation for that stat.  If it doesn’t favor you, permanently reduce the stat by 1.  You also lose an additional 1 MOXY (hey, getting killed fucks a person up, ok?!).

 

Additionally, being cloned brings out a crazy quirk in the new body.  Roll 1d10+1d20 on the table below to discover what quirk you’ve gained.

Cloning Quirks
Roll 1d10+1d20	Result
2	Warts on your ass
3	Hear voices inside your head
4	Constantly twitchy
5	Mindlessly pet soft things
6	Body covered in disgusting hair moles
7	Teeth chatter when nervous
8	Turned on the smell and taste of smoked meat
9	Become OCD (player chooses what they are OCD about)
10	You have an imaginary friend named “Ben.”  He’s a troublemaker
11	Has to list at least three reasons why something won’t work
12	Count your pimples as you pop them
13	Sniffs loudly when irritated or disapproving
14	Body hair is baby fine and stands on end when music plays
15	Loves lizards!  Like can’t get enough of the cute little buggers!
16	Your skin turns- Roll 1d6: 1) Blue; 2) Green; 3) Yellow; 4) Orange; 5) Red; 6) Purple
17	Hums constantly when bored
18	Have an extra finger on one hand
19	Needs a security blanket
20	Start having night terrors
21	Loves birds!  Keeps one in a cage with them at all times
22	Addicted to eating honey (when you can find it)
23	Calls people by the wrong name all the time- they have to be doing it on purpose, right?!
24	Your teeth are backwards
25	Paranoid personality disorder
26	One eye is a different wacky color (player chooses)
27	Compulsive liar
28	Head hair grows like leaves and blood is muddy water (hydroponics, yo!)
29	Gain a Mutation (DitNP, pg 18)
30	Roll twice!

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What is Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass? Oh and Here’s a Loot Die Drop Chart!

I’m about done with the first draft of Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass (DitNP: GMoYA), which is the “fantasy” version of Death is the New Pink!  Now that I’m nearly done with the first draft I can start playtesting it.  I will be running my group through the Forever Dungeon.

What is Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass!

DitNP: GMoYA is a fantasy version of Death is the New Pink.  It is inspired by rpgs like Earthdawn and Warhammer and movie

This strange, zany, twisted, and bizarre world setting uses a mash-up of the fun Into the Odd rules by Chris McDowall and The Black Hack by David Black plus my own variations/house rules and is inspired by Tank Girl, Mad Max, Adventure Time, the Evil Dead Trilogy, and RPGs like Earthdawn and Warhammer Fantasy Role-playing Game.  Players take on the roles of Medieval Meat Bags that wander the twisting, packed and malformed streets of Flotsam, travel through this newly formed jungle world on various beasts of burden, or catch a ride on a zeppelin (should they dare).  Their goal: to find Doodads, obtain materials for trade, or to cause mayhem, death and destruction just for the sake of it.  Medieval Meat Bags have lost everything, their world is gone, and the new one is filled with horrific creatures and strange inhabitants, nearly all whom want to kill and devour the tender body of a Medieval Meat Bag, so the prospect of death is common and accepted as par of course.  Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass! is brutal, bloody, and chaotic.  Things should be kept fast-paced and it’s more than fine if it doesn’t make sense!  Character death is fairly common and should be embraced; a particularly blood death should be applauded and celebrated!  Enjoy spreading chaos in the Yet-to-be-Wasted World (trust me, eventually it’s gonna go tits up… big time)!

The State of the World

“It was pretty bad… the skies turned upside down, the air became fetid and choking, my insides boiled, and I wretched until there was nothing left but dry heaving.  And then nothing… Just empty darkness.  I awoke covered in my own filth and someone had drawn huge genitals on my fucking forehead!  That’s why I don’t dare drink Nasty Mimi’s hooch anymore!  You’d have thought I’d have learned that after I got drunk on the stuff and got a giant tattoo on my back of me snugglin’ a kitten!  Anyways, the way I felt after drinking that hooch was nothing compared to how I felt after waking up from The Tanks.

No one really knows how it all started, but basically every fucking bad thing you could imagine happening happened.  The seas turned red, the skies boiled, death and disease, violent earthquakes, robot overlords (I didn’t even know what the hell a robot was until one blasted off my damned leg with their laser beams!), the undead rose up and walked the earth, horrible mutated beasts wandered the wilderness stalking us, demon princes spewed forth from the bowels of hell, killer clowns (have you see how scary those fuckers are?!), human sacrifices, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria, and worse all happened at once!  We call it the Calamity.  Simple, right?  Gets the point across…

No two ways about it; we were fucked.  The great sages concocted a plan to save us.  They called it The Tanks.  These large vats were built in underground vaults constructed by the dwarves and filled with slimy alchemical liquids brewed by Mystics and elves.  The chosen few (don’t ask me how I got on that list- I thought I was gonna die) were strapped into seats (they weren’t very comfortable) and submerged into the goo.

The idea was we’d sleep for just long enough for the evil crazy fucked up shit going on around the planet to burn itself out and we’d emerge, well-rested mind you, and reclaim our world.  The sages anticipated that we’d sleep for two hundred years… well the jokes on us because we slept for two thousand years and all those crazy evil bastards are all still here.  Now there may not be as many nasties as when it all started, but there are still plenty out there wanting nothing more than to fuck our faces with lasers, wear our hearts as jewelry, or lay eggs in our chest cavity!

The world as we knew it is gone!  It’s all about setting out and killing the bad shit, finding Doodads to make us stronger, and getting piss drunk to blur out the horrors.

Anyways, all of this really isn’t important- I mean really- who cares about how the world got this way?  The reality is at some point you’re gonna end up a bloody smear on the ground!  It’s kill or be killed.  Might as well fucking enjoy it!”

The Forever Dungeon

No one knows who built the Forever Dungeon, and let’s face it- no Medieval Meat Bag worth their weight in smoked sausage gives a shit.  It’s a twisting labyrinth of rooms; some constructed of drab grey stone, others of smooth obsidian, others made of large vibrantly green jade bricks, and others of cool metal with alien technology infused throughout- so on and so forth.

Riddles and puzzles, traps, Nefarios, Gold Bits, and most importantly, Doodads, can be found throughout the rooms of the Forever Dungeon.  Medieval Meat Bag after Medieval Meat Bag runs into this dangerous dungeon in the hopes of striking it rich or nabbing a powerful Doodad!  Many don’t make it out, instead ending up a bloody smear on the ground.

However, there’s a couple catches (isn’t there always?): First- almost every time the Forever Dungeon is vacated of Medieval Meat Bags, it seems to rearrange itself (that’s just mean, right?!), so it makes mapping the damned thing impossible!  Second- you may think you made it big with a bunch of powerful Doodads, but there is a pretty good chance they are illusions that only function when you’re in the Forever Dungeon.  The moment you walk out the door: poof, they’re gone!  Not all Doodads are illusions though, and that’s what keeps Medieval Meat Bags going back, time and time again- like rats in a maze hitting a button for a fucking food pellet!

Looting the Body

To find out what is on the body of a fallen Nefario, a player can roll 2-6 d6’s on this table.  Whatever square the die occupies the most is what the player obtains.  If multiples are rolled (i.e., two 3’s, four fives, etc.) then that means the item is cursed, trapped, or a random encounter occurs.  If a die rolls off the table, it counts as finding nothing on the body, but the number still counts towards determining multiples.  Feel something is unique– just cross it off and write something in it’s place.

Here’s the PDF: Death is the New Pink Loot Die Drop Chart PDF

 

Death is the New Pink is Now Available on POD- Oh and a Tasty Character Sheet

II finally got my Death is the New Pink proof from Drivethru post Gen Con and it passed the test, so it is NOW up for sale for both PDF and POD!

Eric from Bloat Games did a great unboxing video of it!

And finally Evlyn M did a fantastic character sheet for your usage pleasure!

Other Goodies

I’ve begun writing a sequel to DitNP called Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass!, Angie is working on a t-shirt design for DitNP, and I’m jotting down stuff for a supplement for Hubris (more on that in the future.

Back From Gen Con (flashing some pics)! Hubris Won an ENNIE and Demon City Joins DIY RPG Productions!

This is the first time I’ve had a breather since returning from Gen Con!  What a fucking blast!  I got to meet so many cool peeps while I was there!  It was a hell of a treat!  Snuggling with Jez Gordon was tops (he only cried for 20 minutes or so)!

Two pieces of big pieces of awesome came from Gen Con for DIY RPG Productions!  First- Hubris won a Silver ENNIE for Best Electronic Book!  Thanks to EVERYONE for the support and excitement for Hubris over the years and for voting for it in the ENNIES.

I guess there was a little stink because I threw my logo up at the Steaming video, but whatever:)

Here’s a link to that for anyone interested.  Should start at the point for best electronic book (if not, it’s time point 49+:47).

The SECOND piece of Awesome is that Zak Sabbath is teaming up with DIY RPG Productions to publish his awesome Demon City setting book!  This is gonna be delicious, sexy, and epic!  I am really excited about this opportunity and it’ll be a great book!  More on this coming soon!

If you haven’t heard of Hubris or need more info- here’s a great review!

Me getting ready for the ENNIES and practicing my acceptance speech

Awesome ENNIE pose with Jez, Zak, James, and Patrick!

Me rocking some delicious Jez Gordon Feral apparel (hey that rhymes!)

I did way too much of this at the con

Played in some RPGage a couple times run by Zak

Ran Hubris at the Con- It Came From… OUTER SPACE!!!  A level zero funnel!

19 poor souls got themselves perished in the funnel!

Ran Orcs: A High Octane Adventure (3rd level Hubris module- coming eventually)

Two pitiful souls died in this adventure- I was too soft 😛

Death is the New Pink Update- Character Sheet- and Quick Reviews!

So the Death is the New Pink POD is still coming.  I got the proof, but for some reason two of the pictures backgrounds were screwy and the color on two other pictures came out red instead of pink… sooooo those need to be fixed.  Angie needs to fiddle with her pieces, but she’s out visiting family back in MT.

Hopefully by the end of July, I’ll have a new POD proof in my hands that’ll be gorgeous and right- then I’ll put it up for sale.

Character Sheet

Here is a picture of the character sheet- here’s the PDF- Death is the New Pink Character Sheets.

Feel free to use em for some DitNP action.

Lastly here are two reviews of DitNP!

Based on the Into the Odd rules system, Death is the New Pink is a rules-light RPG that focuses on playing the game and creating the atmosphere rather than complex mechanics and convoluted background fluff. I’m always looking for a game that is good for getting a one-shot to the table that is immediately fun for the players – Death is the New Pink fulfills that desire with fully flavored character creation in minutes and rules that are grokked by everyone just as quickly. The book sites a number of pop culture post-apocalypse influences, but I think the most apt reference is Tank Girl. It paints a wasteland background, but throws out the oppressive/depressing feel and instead opts for a campy fun environment of violent abandon. The artwork and the tone is excellent throughout the book as well. Highly recommended!

 

and

 

A fun and colorful post-apocalyptic game, based on the elegant Into The Odd rules. Character generation is fast and throws you a few curveballs, getting you ready to play within minutes.

I hope to have a printed version some day, as the art really deserves it.

 

Death is the New Pink Out Now!!

Death is the New Pink was released last week on Drivethru/RPG Now in PDF format (here’s the link)!  The POD version will be coming out soon.  I’m waiting to get approved by OBS for formatting.  Once I get my proof, and if it looks good, I’ll put it up for sale.

Anyone who buys the PDF of DitNP will get an email with a discount to get the POD as if they purchased the bundle.

Here is other things I’ve posted about Death is the New Pink on the blog.

If you’ve purchased DitNP and enjoy it, please feel free to leave a review on Drivethru/RPG Now

Here’s the summary of DitNP

This bizarre, crazed, post-apocalyptic setting uses the fun Into the Odd rules by Chris McDowall and is inspired by Tank Girl, Judge Dredd, the Fallout and Borderlands video game series, and Mad Max.

Players take on the roles of Meat Bags that wander the packed and filthy streets of Scratchtown, or buzz through the wasteland on souped-up hot rods.  Their goal: to find Doodads, obtain materials for trade, or to cause mayhem, death and destruction just for the sake of it.  Meat Bags feel they’ve seen and done it all, so the prospect of death is one of the only exciting “unknown” things left in the world.  Death is the New Pink is brutal, bloody, and chaotic.  Things should be kept fast-paced and it’s more than fine if it doesn’t make sense!  Character death is fairly common and should be embraced; a particularly blood death should be applauded and celebrated!

Doodads, mutants, bullets, dead bodies, and some booze and pizza are all in a day’s adventure in the Wasted World.

Strap on your ass-kicking boots and grab your big guns, Meat Bag!

It’s time to get your killin’ (or dyin’) on!

Burn rubber and enjoy spreading chaos in the Wasted Worldin this scrappy RPG!

What’s In the Book

Death is the New Pink is rules-lite and keeping with the rules designed by Chris McDowall, characters can be made in 2-5 minutes!  There are rules for vehicles, new equipment, rules for Doodads (strange and powerful scientific devices), Muscle Ups! (perks that give special abilities to the Meat Bag), bunches of Nefarios (bad enemies that want to hurt your squishy bits!), info on the expansive city called Scratchtown, an adventure called “A Bloody Romp Through the Catacombs,” and a Point Crawl through the the Wasted Earth near Scratchtown (including map). The book comes in at 90 pages!

 

More Death is the New Pink Art (by Kelvin Green)!

Kelvin Green has pulled out all the stops and given me some tasty artwork for Death is the New Pink!

Butcher

BAD 18, DSS 8, MOXY 8, HP 20, AP 3

DRIVEN TO CUT PEOPLE INTO TINY PIECES.

He is a thing of myth and legend; his booming, eager laugh echoes across the wasteland, causing even the bravest raider to shit their pants.  This behemoth is said to have drunk from a radioactive river which caused him to grow in size and strength.  He carries a huge cleaver (1d10 damage) around, which he uses to rend flesh and meat from bone.  Damage is enhanced against unarmored targets.  If a target takes critical damage from the cleaver they lose a body part: Roll 1d8- 1) left foot; 2) right foot; 3) left leg; 4) right leg; 5) left hand; 6) right hand; 7) left arm; 8) right arm.

Mother Puss Bucket

BAD 15, DSS 10, MOXY 15, HP 30, AP 3

DRIVEN TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WANTS! CONVERSE, CORRUPT THINGS, BE AN OVERLORD, WHATEVER.

Some call them gods of the wasteland; others terrifying monstrosities.  Mother Puss Buckets are horrible pulsating mounds of flesh that are found throughout the ruined world.  They are super intelligent (usually) and patient.  They like to snack on humans or mutated cows, but sometimes like to use humans as pawns in grander schemes.  There are always 2d4 Flesh Vines that the Mother Puss Bucket uses in combat as well as their psychic abilities.  Mother Puss Buckets know the following abilities (see page XX for descriptions): Brain Dead, Brain ‘Splode, Mind Control, Mind Bullets, Psi-Shield, Telekinesis.  They can use their powers seven times per day before needing to rest.

 

Strange Mother Puss Bucket Feature- Roll 1d6: 1) Head of a beautiful woman attached to flesh mound; 2) Head that looks exactly like one of the characters attached to flesh mound; 3) Giant brain on a sick-looking stem attached to flesh mound; 4) Mound covered in thousands of eyes; 5) Massive single eye and mouth in center of flesh mound; 6) Bodies of dead humans form mouth, nose, and eyes.

Flesh Vines

BAD 10, DSS 7, MOXY NA, HP 3

DRIVEN TO SNATCH THINGS AND TAKE THEM BACK TO THE MOTHER PUSS BUCKET.

Tendrils of pulpy, pulsating flesh that snag victims and drag them back to the main body, the horrible Mother Puss Bucket.  Targets take 1d6 damage from the tendrils and must succeed on a DSS test to avoid becoming snagged.

 

Robo-killer

BAD 10, DSS 12, MOXY 14, HP 14, AP 2

DRIVEN TO MAKE FLESHY THINGS SCREAM AND BLEED.

Robo-killers were designed to be assassins and murder machines (duh). A Robo-killer can sneak up on unaware targets. Make a Luck roll; if the result is 1-4 the robot has successfully snuck up on a target and damage with the first attack is enhanced.  Robo-killers have laser beam eyes that deal 1d8 damage and ignores armor).  Targets that take critical damage are vaporized.  Motorized saw-hands deal 1d10 damage.