Monthly Archives: February 2018

Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Six- The Mystery of the Pink Rubber Ducky!

We continue our playtesting of the new Death is the New Pink project I’m working on, Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass.  The group did another romp into the Forever Dungeon.

Players

Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Lives for combat- good at killing things dead and keeps on slicing.

John– Human- Cheshire- Stealthy.  Good at being cautious and grounded.  

Omar- Human- Cleaveland- Needlessly shouts aggressively and states the obvious.

Last session the group had gone after an extremely powerful Doodad in the Whispering Tunnels beneath the streets of Flotsam.  This time they decided to go after the chance of riches and more Doodads in the Forever Dungeon.

The session started with the group figuring out what happened to them in between sessions (Omar found a dead body in an ally way and looted it, finding a few useful items. John gambled and drank, but broke even.  Liam heard a rumor about a powerful witch that lives in an unsettled area of Flotsam.  People know she is near because hundreds of frogs are lurking about the area).

The group restocked needed items and Liam hired a torch boy (had some of the worst stats ever).

The Entrance

Omar lead the way through most of the dungeon, being the meatiest of the Medieval Meat Bags!  There were no traps on the door, so he opened it.

The Room With Three Doors

The group entered and found three doors standing in the middle of the room.  Nothing seemed to be holding these doors up and the Medieval Meat Bags could walk around them and view both sides.  They decided to open the doors.  The door opened and the group saw a a giant pot-bellied goat-headed demon who was staring at sobbing women.  The group became immediately concerned that they were gonna have to deal with this, but weren’t sure if it was real or if they could be seen.  To test the theory Liam pushed the torch boy through the portal.  “Yup.  It’s real.”  He closed the door.

 

Orcus+Clean

A few moments went by and John decided to open the first door again and saw the poor torch boy on a rack being flayed alive by the sobbing woman as the demon watched, gently rubbing his nipples.  John closed the door, “Well he’s dead.”

Omar opened the middle and saw a wizard with stereotypical wizard clothing on sitting on a throne with a guitar made of an axe.  John and Liam recognized him immediately as the Heavy Metal Wizard!

Heavy Metal Wizard

I have no clue who drew this, but I love it!

 

The group talked to the wizard through the door and realized that he could hear them, but no see them.  They asked the Heavy Metal Wizard if he knew of a goat-headed demon, “Oh… Orcus is around, eh?  He has a portal in the dungeon that connect with his realm of Hell.  He’s a disgusting sexual deviant and bringer of suffering and waste.  Best avoid him if you can.”

John opened the third door and found the frame bricked up.  They decided was that way for a reason and did not break it open.

The group moved to the east.

HOW: As I’ve mentioned in previous session recaps, the Forever Dungeon is procedurally generated, so I pulled the dungeon tile with three doors on it.  When Liam opened the first door, I asked him to roll a d6 while I shuffled my dungeon tiles and pulled out six.  The result he rolled got the Orcus room.  John rolled a 1d8 and got the Heavy Metal Wizard room.  Since the third door was not opened, no rolling was necessary.

The Pink Rubber Ducky Room

The group entered the room and saw a small pond in the center of the floor.  The vegetation and lily pads around it were all fake (like those you would buy from a craft store) and by the bank was a plastic nest with an Easter egg in it.  Floating in the water was a pink rubber ducky.  It quacked and floated away from the group as a real duck would.

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This lil bugger was the star of the session

This lil duckie fucked with  my group.  They were so scared of what this thing might actually be.  The group pondered it for a moment and then decided to push on to the east.

Aside: They later found out that the duckie is actually a Doodad, but guarded by something terrible- more on this later.

Adorable Windup Rubber Duckie Bomb (A.W.R.D.B.): This Mister Quack Quack was designed to distract Nefarious and blow shit up.  Wind it up and let it go.  It’ll walk 30’ and start quacking and doing cute little flips.  Targets within 10’ of the device succeed a MOXY save or stop what they’re doing and walk over to the device.  On the next round the A.W.R.D.B. explodes, dealing 1d12 damage to all in a 10’ radius.  Usable once per day.

The Lever Room

The group entered this chamber and saw that a gnarled staff resting in a display stand in the center of the room.   To the right of the door was a large lever.  Liam pulled it without hesitation.  The constant grinding and humming noise that is constantly in the background of the Forever Dungeon stopped.   Liam was immediately attacked by an anthropomorphic rat creature with bloody skin and clown face paint.  He killed the creature with his scythe before it even had a chance to attack.

HOW: Levers are strange (and possibly dangerous) things in the Forever Dungeon.  Aside from being trapped or guarded by tough Nefarios, levers usually do one of two things 1) stop the dungeon from resetting for 1d4 runs after the current group exits (as it normally rearranges itself upon the Medieval Meat Bags exiting); 2) Instantly causes the dungeon rearrange itself, meaning the group is stuck in there and has to figure their way out.  This time Liam was lucky and the dungeon is stuck in its current layout for 3 runs.  The first of these three will occur with my RL Rochester group on Wednesday.  I am keen to see how this works/fits with the Forever Dungeon design philosophy.

The group decided to give the staff a wide berth, worrying it was of sinister intent and head further east.

The Room of the Living Mole

Aside: Not gonna lie.  I’ve been waiting for this room for a LONG time.  When I was designing Nefarios for Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass, I always ponder what could be the “pink” portion of the piece (if I were to have it illustrated) and I pictured a giant skin mole with large thick pink hairs.  The thought grossed my wife out, so in the book it went!

Living Mole

BAD 10, DSS 10, MOXY NA, HP 20, AP 0

DRIVEN TO JUST BE GROSS AND PLAIN MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

This disgusting creature is a gigantic dismembered growth, roughly 10’ in diameter that undulates and moves slowly on the ground as it secretes a layer of mucus underneath its body while it contracts and undulates its muscle structure, much like a snail.  The mole has five large hairs that gently wave in the wind and snatches unsuspecting prey.  Targets attacked by the mole must succeed a DSS save or become entangled by the hair and begin giggling as the hairs tickle them pink.  An entangled target is moved to rest atop the mole, where it suffers 1d8 damage per round until dead or freed.  A target that suffers critical damage is broken down into a sick-looking foam and fully absorbed by the mole.  The Living Mole is immune to all mind-altering effects.

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No… this is not mine… however I DID have to look at too many disgusting pictures of moles to find this one…

The group saw hutch at the eastern end of the room with six vials in it.  Omar moved to investigate and a long pink hair uncoiled from the ceiling and attacked Omar, ensnaring him and tickling him pink.  He was giggling and laughing and couldn’t act.

This fight was fun, but not as deadly as I was hoping thanks to Liam’s quick use of his last vial of Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Princess (see below).  The body of the mole became frozen and unable to move (and unable to break down living tissue), but the hairs could move around and still ensnare people.  The mole was frozen for 9 rounds.  Even with having Advantage on attacks the group had a hell of a time hitting the fucking thing.  Finally killing it when it only had 1 round left.

Frozen Tears of the Spoiled Prince(ss): There once was a spoiled prince(ss) (or maybe he/she was just really sad) and he/she cried and cried and blah blah blah.  Anyways, these tears are magically frozen and when one is thrown at a target they must succeed a BAD save or become frozen for 2d6 rounds.  If the target is at 0 HP and fails their save, they are permanently frozen.  *If you start with this Doodad from a Starter Package, start with 2d2 of these.

Omar nabbed the potions and \got a few good ones (I can’t remember what they are as I use a table to generate them on the fly).  With that, the group headed back to the Lever Room and decided to head South.  The door to the southern area shimmered with magical energy.  Liam decided to throw something at the door (it may have been the partially dead parrot he found inside the carcass of the Living Mole, but may not have been).  The moment the item hit the door a cloud of black smoke filled the room, causing all to cough and sputter.  Liam failed his BADassery save and fell unconscious.   Omar pulled out his jug of spoiled milk he got from the infected udder of Mi Mi Mi Moo Moo Moo the magical talking cow from a few session ago and held it under Liam’s nose.  Liam woke up instantly, gagging and sputtering but managed to keep his chow down.

The group headed through the southern door.

The Potion Room

The group entered the room and saw an alchemist’s station at the eastern wall and the body of man in robes on the floor.  The group thought maybe he was knocked unconscious by the same trap as Liam.  Omar put the milk under the man’s nose.  Engorged veins shot out of the man’s nose, like sick nose hairs and wrapped around Omar’s forearm.  The man’s face began to bulge and his skin tore away.  The brain levitated out of the skull, a yellow blinking eye center mass of the frontal lobe.

The fight was difficult as the brain was hard to hit and Omar took several points of damage, including a vicious critical fumble attack by Liam, nearly severing his arm.  Omar used his Doodad, Friendly Symbiotes to heal the damage instantly (expending the Doodad for the day).

Eventually the brain was sliced in half by Liam (Liam killed the clown rat, the mole, and now the brain thing- man he is the Bringer of Death, which is his Muscle Up!).

The group found a few potions and Liam looted the body of the now-brainless man, finding a nice long sword.

The group moved back to the rubber duckie room, pondering it again, and then moved to the west past the room with three doors and into the next room.

Samuel’s Room… Let’s Barter

Merchant

The room was much larger than any room they had been in before, forested, dirt on the ground, and a camp fire crackling merrily  in the center of the room, which provided a natural clearing.  In the middle of the room was a hooded and robed man.  He coughed and got to his feet and laughed.  He threw open his coat and said, “Well!  What are you buyin’?!”

Aside: Omar got a big kick of my including the merchant from Resident Evil 4 in adventure- but fuck yea!  He was my favorite part of the game!

The group talked to the merchant, who said his name was Samuel and found out some info about the Forever Dungeon and restocked on some supplies.  They also saw a door to the west in the distance and asked what was in there.  Samuel mentioned a drunken dwarf sleeping one off in there.

The group decided to go talk to the dwarf.

The Ale Room

The group found a passed out dwarf sleeping amid barrels of ale.  After waking him up he introduced himself as Grrrr Mustachio.  He is the last survivor of his band.  The group then asked him if he knew anything the pink rubber duckie.  Grrrr’s faced darkened.  His wife Grrrretta was just killed by the terrible guardian in the pond.  “Two hundred feet wide it was!  And two hundred feet tall!  Long tentacle things that ooze sulfuric pus!  Pulled my wife into the pond, it did!”

The group invited Grrr to join them and get revenge against the creature.  Then Liam used his Dwarven Party Helmet AND double fisted the strong ale in the casks to get black out drunk!  The group went back to Flotsam to carouse and we ended there.

Grrrr Mustachio (Dwarf Mercenary, 20 GB/day)

BAD 13, DSS 10, MOXY 12, HP 9

DRIVEN TO COLLECT ALL HIS EARWAX TO USE ON HIS AWESOME MUSTACHE OR TO ADD TO HIS IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION.

Gear: Bow (1d6), warhammer (1d6), shield, leather armor (AP 1), rations (X5), waterskin, 93 GB.

Race Stuff: Grrrr can see in the dark up to 30’.  Stout: Grrrr is immune to all poisons; Know Stone: Grrrr knows stone and can tell its secrets (MOXY roll with Advantage if roll is needed in a hurry- otherwise automatically succeed); Slayer: The thrill of combat excites Grrrr.  Each successful attack Grrrr makes grants +1 to damage.  Resets after each fight.

Here’s the final dungeon layout for this session

IMG_4816

Leveling Up

Liam and John leveled up to Ye Olde Quarter Pounder- each gaining 1d6 HP, attempting to increase their stats, and each gained a Muscle Up!

It was a great session.  I’m excited to see what will happen on Wednesday.

The Graveyard

Graveyard

Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)– “Here lies the Dwarf With No Name,

He done got dissolved by a puddle of goo-

So pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)– “Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)– “No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

The Torch Boy (NPC)

“Oh with torches this boy played

Until he ran across a demon

And got himself flayed…”

 

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The Gunslinger Class for Hubris (and DCC)

This class will be released with the Orcs! A High Octane Adventure (3rd level module) for Hubris.

The Gunslinger

 

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Art is from Darkest Dungeon- Not for Hubris.

Fighters are brutes that hack away at their enemies with swords, axes, and maces.  Thieves prefer small blades and like to strike from the shadows.  Neither fully appreciate the sleek feel and cold efficiency of firearms, but you do.  The heft and weight, the acidic smell of the lit powder, the feel of the kick as a bullet flies from the barrel and lodges itself into the head of your target, blowing out the back of their skull.

No mark is safe from your sights.  They can attempt to run, but they’ll feel the stinging pain of your shot, and the horrible realization of death will greet them as they bleed out, slumped against a wall, the light fades from their eyes.

Your ability to make impossible shots and take out targets with ease makes you highly sought after.  Whether you swear loyalty to a king or army, or pay heed to no one and make your own way killing for coin or just simply the joy of it, your path is what you make it.  And no one will tell you otherwise.

 

Hit Points: A gunslinger gains 1d8 hit points each level.

 

Weapon Training: A gunslinger is trained in the following weapons: bolas*, club, crossbow*, dagger, handaxe, short sword, wheellock pistol, and wheellock rifle.  Gunslingers can wear any armor up to chain without suffering accuracy to their shots.  Bulkier armor interferes with their ability to hold and fire a wheellock weapon properly and they suffer the armor’s check penalty to their attacks.

 

Alignment: Gunslingers tend to be a cocky lot, assured in their use and mastery of wheellock weaponry.  Gunslingers that are loyal to a cause, military organization, or lord tend to be lawful, while those who sell themselves as guns for hire, glory-seekers, or assassins tend to be chaotic.  Very few gunslingers gravitate towards a neutral alignment.

 

Quick Loader: The gunslinger can reload a wheellock weapon in two rounds instead of the normal three.

 

Point Blank Shot: A gunslinger can shoot targets with a wheellock pistol without suffering negative modifiers (DCC, pg XX).

 

Rifle-butt Attack: A gunslinger receives a free attack at a d16 against any creature that comes into melee range if they have a wheellock rifle in their hands.

 

Sharpshooter: When a gunslinger spends a full round aiming and doing nothing else, their attack is more devastating. If their attack is successful, it deals an additional 1d10 damage.  The threat range for a critical success is increased from 20 to 19-20 when sharpshooting.

 

Trick Shot: Gunslingers train tirelessly with wheellock weaponry.  They can perform tricky shots that function similarly to a warriors Mighty Deeds ability (DCC, pg 42) ONLY when using wheellock weaponry.  Prior to a shot, a gunslinger can declare a Trick Shot.  The gunslinger’s Trick Shot die determines whether this was successful.  If the Trick Shot Die is a 3 or higher, and the attack lands, the Trick Shot is successful.  If the Trick Shot Die is a 2 or less, or the overall attack fails, the Trick Shot fails as well.  Similar to a Warrior’s Mighty Deeds, the Trick Shot die does factor into a gunslinger’s attack modifier and damage.

 

Examples of Trick Shots include feats such as:

 

  • Calling a shot to blast away an object held in an opponent’s hand.
  • Using a shot to snuff out the light of a candle.
  • Shooting a bullet and having it ricochet off a wall and hit a target around the corner.
  • Sliding down a staircase banister and shooting at a target.
  • When fighting enemies that are single-file, shooting a wheellock weapon and having the bullet pass through all of them, dealing damage.
skeleguns

Skeletal Gunrunners from  Hubris- art by David Lewis Johnson

 

Level Attack Trick Shot Die Crit Die/Table* Action Die Ref Fort Will
1 +1 +d3 1d10/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
2 +2 +d4 1d12/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
3 +3 +d4 1d14/II 1d20 +2 +1 +1
4 +4 +d5 1d16/II 1d20 +2 +2 +1
5 +5 +d6 1d20/II 1d20 +3 +2 +1
6 +6 +d6 1d24/II 1d20+1d14 +4 +2 +2
7 +7 +d8 1d30/II 1d20+1d16 +4 +3 +2
8 +8 +d10 1d30+2/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +2
9 +9 +d10+1 1d30+4/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +3
10 +10 +d10+2 1d30+6/II 1d20+1d20 +6 +4 +3
*The critical success tables can be found in DCC, pg 82-83.

 

 

Gunslinger Titles
Level Title
1 Marksman
2 Sharpshooter
3 Sniper
4 Deadeye
5 Master Blaster

 

 

Weapon Damage By Class
Class Light Weapon Medium Weapon Heavy Weapon
Gunslinger 1d4 1d6 1d8
This is an optional rule found in Hubris, pg XX.

 

Gunslinger Starting Equipment

Adventurer gear:

  • Backpack
  • Bedroll
  • Torches x2
  • Rations x5
  • Waterskin
  • Flint and Steel
  • 1 healing potion (1d6+1 HP)
  • Hemp rope (50ft)
  • Adventurer’s Clothing

 

Gunslingers also start with the following- Studded leather armor, 1 dagger or short sword, a wheellock pistol or rifle (20 shots), and a Black Power with pouch and fuse (Hubris, pg XX).

 

Starting Gold

As stated in DCC (pg 70) all level 0 characters start with 5d12 copper pieces and the weapon and trade good of their profession.

 

Class Level 1 Level 2 Level 3
Gunslinger 3d10 3d10 +(1d6x100) 3d10 +(3d6x100)

Upcoming DIY RPG Productions Projects and Some Tasty Art!

I figured this is a great time to talk about several upcoming DIY RPG Productions that are in the works!  2018-2019 are looking exciting with some awesome work by some kick ass individuals.  For all currently released DIY RPG Productions, click here.

I decided to list all the projects alphabetically.

Barbarians of the Ruined Earth (BotRE)– is a game written by me and inspired by Saturday morning cartoons, specifically Thundarr the Barbarian (with dashes of Pirates of Dark Water thrown in).  The games uses the fun and simple The Black Hack rules.  Here’s the stuff I’ve posted on the blog.

 

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Death is the New Pink Projects (DitNP)

Note: Here’s the free character sheet for DitNP

DitNP: Fist Full of Circuits (or Rust Bucket Rampage) by Ian Hagan (art by Ian).  This will be a supplement for adding robots (called Rust Buckets) to a DitNP game.  They’ll have their own capital city (similar to Scratchtown).

Basic-Heads-Imp-sized

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DitNP: Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass- This book is the follow up to the original Death is the New Pink and written by me.  It is a fantasy version of DitNP and inspired by punk rock music, Tank Girl, and comics like Skullkickers.  Here’s info from the blog.  While the original DitNP uses the kick ass Into the Odd rules, GMoYA uses a blend of those and The Black Hack (linked above).

medieval cover layout 4 2552x3508 300dpi

This is the cover- art by Kelvin Green

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DitNP: Megarise Mayhem– This awesome adventure is being written by Kane!  This module is action packed, full of humor, and will surely put Meat Bags in zany situations and then kill their asses.

megarise

Kane did this mock up for Pax Unplugged

 

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DitNP: Scenarios and Nefarios- I am planning to release a DitNP zine every quarter or so.  Each issue with have a few scenarios to run your group through, new Doodads, an interesting location, some NPCs, a faction or two, and very importantly- new Nefarios!

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The Forever Dungeon– While this will be a supplement for Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass, the product will mostly be rules neutral, so really it could be used with any system.  The concept and words by me- the awesome dungeon art by Kelvin Green!  Here’s the info posted on the blog.

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Demon City– a modern day horror rpg by Zak Sabbath.  Here is a link to his blog with all the stuff he’s posted thus far.  Zak gives awesome advice on how to run horror games, new and unique mechanics, fun and exciting classes, and of course- killer fucking art!

More news on our kickstarter coming in the near future!

 

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Gathox: Quake Alley MayhemDavid Lewis Johnson has written the first module for his awesome Gathox Vertical Slum setting.  This module is exciting, contains easy rules to use in a tournament setting or as a regular adventure.  It is currently in layout and art development!

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The Ghoul Prince– by Zzarchov Kowolski!  This nifty lil module uses the kick ass DCC rules and has the tools needed to fit it into any campaign and environment the group might be in!  Alex Mayo has done art for it and this will be released as PDF and POD VERY soon!

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High Noon: A Gritty Whitebox Western- This OSR-style western book is written by myself.  The book has several classes, advice on keeping it bloody and deadly, bunches of enemies and tables (because I love those) and even a chapter on the Weird West (with classes!) Here is info on the blog.

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Hubris Projects

Hubris: Downpour– will be the first supplement for Hubris (written by me) and will still embody the usable at the table/hack what the fuck you want attitude.  The new supplement will have new races as class, organizations, territories, at least one new patron, new monsters, magic items, spells, etc. and will be heavily inspired by Evil Dead, The Mist, Exorcist, The Thing, Marilyn Manson music videos (mostly from Antichrist Superstar), and the like.  I’m also taking a little inspiration from Warhammer and a taste of Ravenloft.  Here is info from the blog.

demonface final

Art by David Lewis Johnson

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Hubris: Orcs! A High Octane Adventure- is written by me and is inspired by the Mad Max: Fury Road and Snowpiercer movies and the Gears of War video games.  The adventure is designed for four to six 3rd-level characters and set in the Hubris: A World of Visceral Adventure campaign setting, but can be used with other DCC settings (or OSR campaigns) as well with some tweaking of the locations and names.  The adventure is fast paced, with deadly combat encounters with orcs and their alchemically altered abominations.  A new class will be included in this as well!  The Gunslinger!

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