Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Five- Goin’ Doodad Huntin’!

We continue our playtesting of the new Death is the New Pink project I’m working on, Going Medieval on Yo’ Ass.

Players

Liam– Human- Mort (Morty for short)- Lives for combat- good at killing things dead and keeps on slicing.

 

John– Human- Cheshire- Stealthy.  Good at being cautious and grounded.  

Chad– Half-orc- BJ Orc (friends call him Bjorc)- Fights with a big two-handed axe.  

Omar- Human- Cleaveland- Needlessly shouts aggressively and states the obvious.

Coley- Elf- Makes snotty comments about others’ failings.  Has a fabulous pet hawk.  Good with a bow and acrobatic.  

Fletch- Human- Mad Mulligan.  Greatest swordsman who ever lived.  

The Session Begins

Now that we’ve had a few sessions (with both my Rochester group and my online group), I didn’t start them right at the entrance of the Forever Dungeon.  Instead I presented them with several options to pursue.

  1. Another romp in the Forever Dungeon.
  2. Track down the Doodad (The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall) that they were told was in the Whispering Tunnels beneath Flotsam (last session).
  3. Take on a job offered by the halfling gangster, Mr. Laughy Taffy.
  4. Go looking for trouble in Flotsam or out in the Yet-to-be-Wasted World (rolled randomly by me).
  5. Investigate one of the rumors they heard last session (up to them to remember the rumors that spew forth from my face hole).

The group talked for a few minutes while I went and made myself a booze in a glass and decided that they would track down the Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall (the Doodad they were told about last session).

HOW: I didn’t know if/when the group would go after the Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall and I didn’t want to waste too much time prepping something that may never happen.  Soooooo…  Instadungeon time!  I rolled twelve d8s onto a piece of paper and marked the location and the number (pic below).  Then I used a table to generate things for the Forever Dungeon to see what was in those rooms.  The d8 from my favorite set of dice would be where the Doodad would be found.  Then I rolled a d4 for the number of different entrances/exits into the Whispering Tunnels there were in this “section” and got a four.  I then rolled four d4 and moved them each to the nearest location to determine the entrances/exits.

When the session start I had Coley roll 1d4 to see which of the four entrances/exits they started at.

Key for what’s in a room (roll 1d8): 1) Curse; 2) Doodad; 3)n Doors; 4) Event; 5) Hazard; 6) Item; 7) Nefario; 8) NPC.

IMG_4719

The group walked through the streets of Flotsam and came a cross a rickety tent with a old haggard woman kneeling by an decent-sized stone idol of a creature with the head of a squid, the torso of a werewolf, long, bumpy tongues for arms, and no legs, seemingly amputated, but with tendrils of veins and nerve endings issuing from the folds, and its body covered in blinking eyes (I used my Deity Generator).

The group recognized it as a shrine to the Primordial God, Mythe Totep.  The old woman shook a bowl at them, “give some gold bits to the temple of Mythe Totep?”  John and Liam immediately said, “I will.”  Fletch ignored her.  Coley shouted, “I’m blessed enough! (fucking elves)”, and Omar put half a ration in the bowl, feeling that was good enough.

Liam and John were given a blessing from Mythe Totep.  The next Luck roll they made would be with Advantage.  Nothing happened to Coley and Fletch.  Omar felt pain in his palms and looked down to see two biting mouths on them (bite attack at a 1d6).

Into the Dungeon

The group started by entering the room in the NE corner (Start 2).  I rolled the hazard for this room was the Hallway of “Eye” Suck.  The walls were lined with faces with circular mouths.  The group couldn’t make out what was on the walls, but they saw dried blood, bits of meat, and other things.

This room was fun (and a good intro to DitNP for Coley).  She decided to have her hawk fly through the hallway to the other side to see if there was any danger… well…. there was.  From the hallway itself.  There was a sucking noise and both of the hawk’s eyes were popped out and sucked into one of the faces.  The hawk squeaked once and flew right into the wall, broke its neck, and died.

The group debated on what to do next.  Chad said, “just shut your eyes and walk across,” but no one listened.  Coley asked if she could find a secret passage.  I thought that was a good suggestion, so I had her make a Luck roll.  She did, it favored her- so there was a secret passage.  I then rolled a secret Luck roll to see if it was inhabited by something nasty.  The Luck roll once again favored Coley, so while the passage way was thick with spider webs, no Nefario there was.

IMG_4721

 

HOW: The Hallway of “Eye” Suck

This trap is usually set up in a narrow hallway, which is lined with hundreds (or thousands) of small holes.  Many of these will have eyeballs stuck in them, perhaps there is a brain splattered against the wall.  When targets enter the hallway, they experience discomfort as the air is pulled through all these holes.  Each target must make a BAD save for each eye to avoid having them pulled out and stuck in a hole (this results in 1d6 damage per eye).  If the target takes critical damage, their brain is pulled out through their eye socket and splatters against the wall like a thrown plate of wet dog food.  Closing one’s eyes (and stumbling around blindly) will negate this.

The group proceeded south and came across a mutant with skin like soggy corn flakes, a tentacle for his left leg, and a melted face that looked like Sloth from Goonies.  The group pressed the mutant for information.  He said that to the south was his quarters and southern from that was a room with white and black checkered flooring and in the center of the room is a small coffee table with a single slice of delicious beautiful chocolate cake on it (inspired by Zak’s post).  The chocolate cake, of course brought up references of Trump and his description of his meeting with the Chinese president (go to 0:48 for that).  The mutant also spoke of a room off to the east with several dead bodies in it.  He won’t go there for fear of something lurking in there.

The group decided to go scope out the dead bodies first.  The room was covered in offal, blood, and garbage.  Oh and three dead bodies.  John, Fletch, and Liam each looted a body (allowing me to use my loot table again- this is for the Forever Dungeon, but works for anything, really).

The first to look through the goop rolled 3d6 and got multiples.  I rolled 1d10 and got a random encounter.  I decided to roll up eye monsters (makes sense from the Hallway of the “Eye” Suck, right?)

Eye-ra

Kinda cute…

These things dropped from the ceiling and started blinking conjunctivitis discharge on the Medieval Meat Bags, which burned and dealt damage.  A few of the players got pretty banged up (Coley mostly), but no one was knocked unconscious.  The group found several items, including extremely sharp caltrops, some drugs, pop grenade on a stick, and Fletch found a Doodad, Goo Armor.

HOW: Goo Armor: You look like your encased in an ever-runny loogie.  It disgusts people and makes them feel queasy.  You suffer Disadvantage to all MOXY rolls that deal with schmoosing, intimidating, etc. while wearing it.  While wearing Goo Armor, you are able to melt into a puddle of mucous and slither on the ground at 10’ per round.  You can fit under most doors.  Treat the armor as medium (pg XX).  You can command the armor to be absorbed into your skin (and thus not being active), but you gag as it happens as it is an extremely gross sensation and you feel like you have constant post-nasal drip.  When you summon the armor, it spews forth from your nose as water from a faucet.  It takes 1 minute for the armor to encase your body.

There was a slight hitch for this armor…  it was broken.  So when Fletch transforms into a goo, he is stuck that way until he succeeds a Luck roll (heh).

The group then headed to the cake room and Liam quickly wrapped the cake in a cloth and stuffed it in his backpack… I can’t wait for him to really check it out.

The group then traveled south west and came across a filthy halfling covered in rags with a nasty scar on his face.  He introduced himself as Burgundy Blitz (I don’t know where I pulled that name from, but there it is).  He asked for help with killing a giant insect that was causing him trouble.  In return he would give the group treasure.  The group was wary at first, worrying about giant spiders or centipedes, but when told it was a giant beetle the group got cocky with a “I got this” attitude.

They didn’t expect to fight a beetle the size of a Volkswagon bus.

Beetle

John got sprayed in the face with a hallucinogenic compound from the beetle and thought that his companions were actually beetle creatures, but didn’t attack them.  Instead throwing a Molotov Cocktail at it.

Chad was hit hard by the creature and knocked unconscious, but didn’t die.  Fletch pulled out his box-o-mallet and squeezed the handle, sending the boxing mallet flying at the creature, dealing 4 damage, 2 of which was critical damage.  I rolled the beetle’s BAD save and critically failed.  The box-o-mallet looked as if it wasn’t going to reach the beetle’s head, but just at the last minute the beetle moved and the boxing glove barely touched its head.  It shivered and a ripple effect moved from the head of the creature to the back and then it’s thorax exploded and goo spewed everywhere.

Boom

 

The group made their way back to Burgundy Blitz and got a golden monkey idol as reward (worth 400 GB).  With that the group left for the room where the Tree Hnad of Glamglug Glamall was believed to be.

Fletch almost died after triggering some Fire Eating Moss, but found the staff.  The group exited the Whispering Tunnels and decided to carouse after that.

HOW: The Tree Hand of Glamglug Glamall: The staff of the great living tree Glamglug Glamall is known for its expert craftsmanship, beautifully etched runes, oh and its ability to summon a massive hand out of the ground that grabs people (sometimes it can get a little pervy).  When the staff is stabbed into the soil, the user can summon forth a 10’ high wooden hand with jagged bark fingernails and shoots of branches at random spots.  A target must make a DSS save (with Disadvantage) to avoid becoming ensnared by the hand.  The hand remains until the staff is pulled from the ground or the sun sets.  The user can command the hand to crush a target for 1d6 damage per round.    The ensnared target can make a new DSS save each round to break free.  This can be used once per day, however a Medieval Meat Bag can attempt to force the staff to work additional times by passing a MOXY save.

Carousing Highlights

Chad- Got a magical tattoo that allows him to cast a Mystic spell once before fading.

Live Fast Die Young: You can touch a target and cause them to speed up, moving as if just outside the normal spacetime.  They gain Advantage to dodging attacks and gain an extra movement and attack action.  The target must make a Luck roll- if it favors them, nothing bad happens.  If it doesn’t, the touched target ages 1d10 years.  Lasts 1d4 rounds.

John– got a really stupid tattoo.  Liam got to choose it and picked this as a whole back tattoo:

IMG_4718

Liam- Drank a mystery potion and had his Dodging Some Shit increased by 1 for the next session.

Fletch- Dominated in a halfling mud wrestling competition (not being a halfling himself made it all the funnier) and critically succeeded on his roll on how well he did…  Good times.

The Graveyard

Graveyard

Dwarf With No Name (Kevin)– “Here lies the Dwarf With No Name, he done got dissolved by a puddle of goo- so pathetic, so lame.”

Tooth (Fletch)– “Not much you could say about Tooth,

Except faces he liked to smash,

And was disintegrated; gone in a poof,

Ain’t nothing left by ash.”

Scotch (Omar)– “No one seemed to care when Scotch died,

No one cared for his life.

No one cried,

Not even his wife.”

 

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About wrathofzombie

I am a History major attending a community college until I can get more financial aid and attend a four year school. I am living in NJ with my girlfriend who is currently wrapping up on obtaining her PhD in Toxicology. I love Star Wars, Role-playing, video games, working out, reading, writing, and hanging with my girlfriend, dog (Perfect), and two kittens (Birch and Brambles). My main focus on this site will be my discussion of Role-playing games and ideas and hopefully contribute something worth a damn. View all posts by wrathofzombie

One response to “Death is the New Pink: Going Medieval On Yo’ Ass Session Five- Goin’ Doodad Huntin’!

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