Dr. Mac N’ Cheese’s Handy Dandy Hydroponics Clone-a-Nator!
This is for use with Death is the New Pink (but can be hacked to about anything, really).
“Now listen here my soft and squishy Meat Bag! It’s a dangerous world out there! Crazed raiders, inbred beasties, and other terrifying Nefarios lurk out in those wastes! And all of them want to murder your face! Now there is no shame in dyin’! It happens!
However, don’t let dyin’ be the end of your life! No siree, for those who can afford the small fee in Gold Bits (a pittance, really), you are guaranteed to be brought back to life in NEARLY the same shape and personality as you were!
Now let’s be honest, you aren’t exactly a winner right now anyways, and what’s the harm of random twitches, weird hairy moles, paranoid personality disorder, your skin turning blue, or hell even warts on your ass if it means you get a second shot at life, eh?! Some of my best clients are on their third or fourth shot!
Now if you’re looking for a second shot at life, let Dr. Mac N’ Cheese take a look at your brain matter and get you suited up with a chip and you’ll be right as rain. Careful, don’t sneeze now. “
The life of a Meat Bag is short and brutal, however with cloning technology a life that was reduced to a bloody smear on the ground can be revitalized! After spending 600 x Meat Bag level in GB (i.e., cloning a Weenie Meat Bag will cost 600, while cloning a Full Pound Meat Bag would cost 3,600), the Meat Bag has a copy of its DNA put into Dr. Mac N’ Cheese’s data banks and a chip is implanted in their brain. At the point of death all memories, experiences, etc. are uploaded and stored.
Once Dr. Mac N’ Cheese has all he needs, he goes to work of growing a new you that will wait in stasis until you die a horrible death. Once Dr. Mac N’ Cheese has received notification of your greasy demise, he uploads your consciousness into the clone. You emerge from the stasis pod, covered in goo and smelling strangely of cinnamon and cloves, but otherwise unharmed.
Cloning isn’t without it’s risks however. Each time a Meat Bag clones, there is the risk of cellular degradation. Make a Luck roll for each stat. If it favors you, there has been no degradation for that stat. If it doesn’t favor you, permanently reduce the stat by 1. You also lose an additional 1 MOXY (hey, getting killed fucks a person up, ok?!).
Additionally, being cloned brings out a crazy quirk in the new body. Roll 1d10+1d20 on the table below to discover what quirk you’ve gained.
|2||Warts on your ass|
|3||Hear voices inside your head|
|5||Mindlessly pet soft things|
|6||Body covered in disgusting hair moles|
|7||Teeth chatter when nervous|
|8||Turned on the smell and taste of smoked meat|
|9||Become OCD (player chooses what they are OCD about)|
|10||You have an imaginary friend named “Ben.” He’s a troublemaker|
|11||Has to list at least three reasons why something won’t work|
|12||Count your pimples as you pop them|
|13||Sniffs loudly when irritated or disapproving|
|14||Body hair is baby fine and stands on end when music plays|
|15||Loves lizards! Like can’t get enough of the cute little buggers!|
|16||Your skin turns- Roll 1d6: 1) Blue; 2) Green; 3) Yellow; 4) Orange; 5) Red; 6) Purple|
|17||Hums constantly when bored|
|18||Have an extra finger on one hand|
|19||Needs a security blanket|
|20||Start having night terrors|
|21||Loves birds! Keeps one in a cage with them at all times|
|22||Addicted to eating honey (when you can find it)|
|23||Calls people by the wrong name all the time- they have to be doing it on purpose, right?!|
|24||Your teeth are backwards|
|25||Paranoid personality disorder|
|26||One eye is a different wacky color (player chooses)|
|28||Head hair grows like leaves and blood is muddy water (hydroponics, yo!)|
|29||Gain a Mutation (DitNP, pg 18)|