Monthly Archives: June 2017

Real World Occupations for DCC

I plan to start running a megadungeon in the near future that is inspired by Dungeons and Dragons the Animated Series.  I knew I wanted the first session to be a funnel and have the real world “characters” have to figure out the horror that they are encountering and attempt to survive…

 

big customer service team

Let’s go on a team building exercise!  We can camp in those creepy woods!  What’s the worst that can happen?

 

Photo 5

OH MY GOD!!  WHY DID WE GO CAMPING IN THE CREEPY FOREST!!?

Really Real World Occupations
Roll 1d100 Occupation Trained Weapon Trade Good
1 Academic1 Heavy text book (as club) Item that makes sense for rolled academic
2 Accountant Expensive golden pen (as dagger/knife) Hand calculator and money clip
3 Actor Award trophy (as club) Current screenplay and a copy of Stanislavski’s “An Actor Prepares”
4 Animal Trainer Taser (as sling) Yipping poodle, dog food, carrying bag, and whistle
5 Antique Dealer Bust of Beethoven (as club) History of furniture book, jug of wood polish
6 Artist2 Item that makes sense for rolled artist Item that makes sense for rolled artist
7 Athlete3 Item that makes sense for rolled athlete Item that makes sense for rolled athlete
8 Baker Rolling pin (as club) Christmas cookie cutters and mixing bowl
9 Barista Thick metal carafe (as club) 5 lb bag of dark coffee, can of non-dairy creamer
10 Bartender Knife (as dagger) Flask full of whisky, two books of matches
11 Bee Keeper Walking stick (as staff) Three jars of honey
12 Brewer Heavy mug (as club) Three growlers of beer
13 Butcher Cleaver (as axe) Thick leather apron (+1 AC)
14 Butler Leather hardback limited edition of War and Peace (as club) Tanning mirror
15 Carpenter Hammer (as club) Level and dust mask
16 Casino Dealer Brass knuckles Deck of cards and 1d100 extra dollars
17 Chef Tenderizing mallet (as club) Rack of 50 spices and recipe book
18 Clockmaker Screwdriver (as knife) Baggie of sprockets, gears, and cogs
19 College Student4 Large text book (as club) Item that makes sense for rolled student
20 Con Artist Small pistol (1d6 damage) 10 bullets, “snake oil”- make up what the next big thing is
21 Conservationist5 Survival knife and walking stick (as club) Book on history of rolled environment and challenges it faces.  All weather bedroll.
22 Construction Worker Battery operated nail gun (as sling) 100 nails, hard hat and utility belt
23 Corrections Officer Standard pistol (1d6 damage) 25 bullets, handcuffs and flashlight
24 Criminal Element6 Pistol (1d6 damage) and brass knuckles Item that makes sense for rolled criminal
25 Cyclist Old bike chain (as flail) Bicycle and helmet
26 Deep Sea Diver Harpoon gun (as bow) Diving mask, snorkel, and flippers
27 Dietician Walking stick (as staff) 10 days’ worth of healthy snacks and water packets
28 Delivery Driver Baseball bat (as club) Trucker hat and traveling dog
29 Demolitions Expert Hammer  (as club) Blasting caps, spool of copper wire
30 Dentist Scalpel (as knife) Pliers and small tin filled with teeth
31 Distiller Three small cutting knives (as dart) Bottle of strong alcohol, lighter, pack of smokes
32 Dog Walker Thick leash (as whip) Medium-sized dog
33 Doorperson Doorstop (as knife) Ball of string, whistle
34 Drag Racer Switch blade (as knife) Racing helmet, Thick leather jacket (+1 AC)
35 Electrician Utility Knife (as knife) Tool belt with pliers, hammer, and wrench
36 Emergency Medical Technician Scalpel (as knife) First aid kit (two uses- restores 1d4 HP)
37 Exterminator Crowbar (as club) Canister of toxic gas and sprayer
38 Farmer Pitchfork Pack of seeds and a hen
39 Fireman Fire axe (two-handed) Fire hat and protective suit (ignore 1 point of fire damage)
40 Fisherman Butchering knife Fishing pole and three fish hooks
41 Florist Large scissors (as knife) Glass vase and bouquet of fake flowers
42 Fry Cook Frying pan (as club) Can of cooking oil, bottle of ketchup and mustard
43 Gem Cutter Chisel (as knife) Fine gem
44 Golf Caddy 1d4 Golf clubs (as club) Caddy cart and 10 golf balls
45 Grocery Store Checker Pocket knife Backpack, box of granola bars
46 Health Inspector Heavy briefcase (as two-handed club) Clip board with notes
47 Herbalist Trowel (as knife) Packet of chamomile and packet of sage
48 High School Student4 Large text book (as club) Item that makes sense for rolled student
49 Hiker Staff Backpack, 1d4 MREs, 1 canteen
50 Home Décor Designer Rubber mallet (as club) Book of wall paper and carpet samples and measuring tape
51 Housekeeper Thick scrubbing brush with wrist-tie handle (as flail) Cleaning uniform and bottle of disinfectant
52 Hunter Hunting rifle (1d8 damage) 50 bullets, bear spray
53 IT Specialist Limited Edition “Rambo” knife Laptop with loads of porn
54 Judge Gavel (as club) Book of history of the French Revolution, impressive black “JUDGE” robes
55 Lab Tech 2d4+1 samples of gross stuff (random effects) Large clump of dry ice, small cooler
56 Lawyer Cane (as club) Lighter, fancy watch, and designer suit
57 Leatherworker Large tongs (as club) Leather armor made for Ren Fair (+2 AC)
58 Loan Shark Brass knuckles 1d100 + 20 dollars and a flashy cell phone
59 Mason Pointing trowel (as knife) Bag of 1d6 artisan crafted bricks
60 Mechanic Large monkey wrench (as club) Spark plugs, liter of 40W motor oil
61 Medium Ceremonial blade Book of spiritual signs and book of current year’s horoscopes
62 Metal Worker Thick metal tongs (as club) Large chunk of metal
63 Meteorologist Rock collection (10 rocks- as sling) A collection of “moon” rocks and “Forecasting Weather for Dummies”
64 Military Personnel Assault rifle (1d10 damage) 50 bullets, army fatigues
65 Model Small pistol (1d4 damage) 8 bullets, super sexy outfit, fancy shoes
66 Mortician Hacksaw (as knife) Embalming fluid sample, measuring tape, blood-resistant apron
67 Motel Clerk Shotgun (1d8 damage) 6 shots, book of strange occurrences across USA, flask with vodka
68 Musician7 Knife Musical instrument of rolled musician
69 Optician Iron (as club) Great pair of designer glasses, traveling eye exam kit
70 Performer8 Item that makes sense for rolled performer Item that makes sense for rolled performer
71 Photographer Tripod (as club) Camera and camera bag
72 Physician Expensive stethoscope (as garrote- 1d4 damage) Pain killers and booze
73 Pilot Flare gun (4 shots, 1d4 damage) Aviator sunglasses, pilots cap
74 Plumber Large monkey wrench (as club) Galoshes and water-resistant pants
75 Police Officer Pistol (1d6 damage) Handcuffs and badge
76 Post Person (Mail) Taser (as sling) Binder of undelivered love letters
77 Private Investigator Revolver (1d6 damage) Cool trench coat, pack of smokes, lighter
78 Psychologist Briefcase (as club) Hawaiian shirt and swimming trunks
79 Radio DJ Book of cds (1d100 cds- as sling) Headphones and old discman
80 Registered Nurse Taser (as sling) First aid kit (two uses- restores 1d4 HP)
81 Religious Leader/Occultist Silver dagger Religious symbol and holy book
82 Restaurant Owner Pizza cutter (as knife) 1d100 dollars golden ring with tiny diamonds
83 Sailor Butcher hook (as knife) Compass and HAM
84 Salesperson Heavy, large sales catalog (as club) Large suitcase with fine jewelry
85 Salvager Shotgun (1d8 damage) Map to location of lost WWII plane, compass
86 Secretary Letter opener (as knife) Fun summer clothing, nice watch
87 Security Guard Collapsible baton Pepper spray
88 Singer9 Knife 3d20 dollars and a book of new songs based on rolled genre
89 Social Worker Keychain self-defense weapon (1d4 damage) Professional clothing, comfortable shoes
90 Store Stocker Canvas bag filled with canned goods (as club) 10+1d10 canned goods and a roll of quarters ($10- for laundry)
91 Tailor Scissors (as knife) Sewing kit, 3 sets of clothing
92 Teacher10 Collapsible baton Text book on rolled subject and a stress ball
93 Train Conductor Crudgel Pocket watch and whistle
94 Treasure Hunter Pistol (1d6 damage) 25 bullets and tent and map
95 Tree Trimmer Pruning sheers (as knife) Book on tree identification and cultivation
96 Vagrant Swiss Army knife Candy bar,
97 Valet Keychain self-defense weapon (1d4 damage) Nice cell phone, designer sneakers
98 Veterinarian Scalpel (as knife) Pain killers, medium sized dog
99 Waiter Taser (as sling) Nice clothing and fanny pack
100 Writer11 Bottle of booze (as club) Laptop and carrying case

 

  • Academic (roll 1d8): 1) Biologist; 2) Chemist; 3) Physicist; 4) Philosophy; 5) Mythology/theology; 6) Historian; 7) Political science; 8) Geology
  • Artist (roll 1d6): 1) Jeweler; 2) Potter; 3) Painter; 4) Sculpture; 5) Illustrator; 6) Architecture
  • Athlete (roll 1d8): 1) Mountain Climbing; 2) Boxing; 3) Wrestling; 4) Track and Field; 5) Hockey; 6) Football; 7) Baseball; 8) Basketball
  • College/High School StudentMain area of study/interest– (roll 1d10): 1) Drama; 2) History; 3) Mathematics; 4) Political Science; 5) Culinary Arts; 7) Being Popular; 8) Computers; Chemistry; 9) Astronomy; 10) Band/Choir
  • Conservationisttype of environment interested in– (roll 1d8): 1) Wetlands; 2) Farmlands; 3) Desert; 4) Arctic; 5) Forests; 6) Tundra; 7) Ocean; 8) Prairie
  • Criminal Element (roll 1d8): 1) Thug; 2) Gangbanger; 3) Debt Collector; 4) Body Guard; 5) Fence; 6) Counterfeiter; 7) Information Extractor; 8) Prostitute
  • Musician (roll 1d8): 1) Guitar; 2) Drums; 3) Tuba; 4) Trumpet; 5) Bass; 6) Flute; 7) Clarinet; 8) Cow Bell
  • Performer (roll 1d8): 1) Spoken Word; 2) Mime; 3) Puppetry; 4) Freak Show; 5) Dancer (i.e., jazz/tap, ballet, swing, break, interpretive, stripper, etc.); 6) Magician; 7) Juggler; 8) Hula Hooper
  • Singer (roll 1d8): 1) Country; 2) Jazz; 3) Rock; 4) Metal; 5) Rap; 6) Pop; 7) New Wave; 8) Lounge singer
  • Teacher (roll 1d8): 1) English; 2) History; 3) Social Studies; 4) Mathematics; 5) Earth Science; 6) Physical Education; 7) Band; 8) Cooking and Home Economics
  • Writer (roll 1d8): 1) Horror; 2) Poetry; 3) Plays; 4) Fantasy/Sci-Fi; 5) Reference Manuals; 6) Children’s Books; 7) Mysteries; 8) Magazine Editorials/Journalist
Photo 6

Only the most badass survive and make it to 1st level!


Weird Creature Generator

Weird Creature Generator

Animal 6

Sometimes when a group is exploring a dungeon or bit of untamed wilderness, they come across various animals and insects.  Sometimes the creatures are bizarre and even creepy.

 

If you need just a single natural creature, roll 1d100.  If you desire a weird creature, roll 1d100 twice and combine the two creatures in a way that is entertaining.

Animal 4

If you desire to add a Strange Feature to either creature, roll 1d20 and consult the table below.

 

Four examples are given below.

Animal 2

 

Weird Creature Generator
Roll 1d100 Creature Roll 1d100 Creature
1 Hairless Cat 51 Panda
2 Basset Hound 52 Millipede
3 Butterfly 53 Fire Ant
4 Centipede 54 Jelly Fish
5 Alligator 55 Manta Ray
6 Polar Bear 56 Deer
7 Cobra 57 Elk
8 Armadillo 58 Moose
9 Spider 59 Wolverine
10 Grizzly Bear 60 Kangaroo
11 Bat 61 Weasel
12 Moth 62 Chicken
13 Hawk 63 Rooster
14 Eagle 64 Lightning Bug
15 Woodpecker 65 Fly
16 Lion 66 Vulture
17 Tiger 67 Swan
18 Elephant 68 Hammerhead Shark
19 Hippo 69 Great White Shark
20 Beetle 70 Blue Whale
21 Earwig 71 Orca
22 Seal 72 Gecko
23 Walrus 73 Iguana
24 Penguin 74 Tortoise
25 Rhino 75 Skunk
26 Zebra 76 Dolphin
27 Cow 77 Donkey
28 House Cat 78 Hedgehog
29 Great Dane 79 Earthworm
30 Wolf 80 Flatworm
31 Squirrel 81 Piranha
32 Fox 82 Catfish
33 Rabbit 83 Flamingo
34 Mouse 84 Koala
35 Rat 85 Pig
36 Mole 86 Sheep
37 Slug 87 Parrot
38 Snail 88 Platypus
39 Crab 89 Boar
40 Lobster 90 Gorilla
41 Sea Horse 91 Giraffe
42 Horse 92 Hyena
43 Coyote 93 Spider Monkey
44 Octopus 94 Chimp
45 Hummingbird 95 Toad
46 Bumblebee 96 Capuchin Monkey
47 Wasp 97 Snow Leopard
48 Tarantula 98 Red Panda
49 Amoeba 99 Raccoon
50 Python 100 Owl

Animal 3

 

Strange Feature
Roll 1d20 Result
1  
2 1d10 Eyes
3 2d10 Human Fingers
4 2d10 Human Toes
5 2d10 Teeth
6 Gems for Eyes
7 Glows in the Dark
8 Human Hands
9 Human Feet
10 Can Speak Common
11 Tube-like Tongue
12 Horns
13 Bark-like Skin
14 Human Mouth
15 Rubbery Flesh
16 Body Made of Fruit (roll 1d8- 1) Pineapple; 2) Strawberry; 3) Banana; 4) blueberry; 5) Apple; 6) Mango; 7) Blackberry; 8) Kiwi
17 Covered in Wiggling Pseudopods
18 Smokes as if on Fire
19 Translucent Flesh- Can See Innards
20 Two Heads

Animal 1

 

Example OneStandard Creature (without Strange Feature)– An elk

 

Example TwoWeird Creature (without Strange Feature)– Kangaroo-slug.  Creature has the body of a kangaroo, but the neck and head are that of a slimy slug.

 

Example ThreeStandard Creature (with Strange Feature)– A rat with bark-like skin.

 

Example FourWeird Creature (with Strange Feature)– Polar Bear-Tortoise.  This massive white bear’s body is covered in a thick protective shell.  The creature can pull itself in the shell to protect itself from attacks.  Oftentimes the bear will charge at a creature and pull itself in its shell and spin at its prey, slamming into them before coming out and attacking.  The bear has 9 wiggling human fingers growing on its face.

Animal 2


New Hubris Class- The Klind Exile (Race as Class) and a New Hubris Video Review

hubris-cover

A New Video

Ben Milton has just released a video review of Hubris for those who are curious about it and want more info!  A very heartfelt thanks to Ben (and all others) for the kind words and praise for Hubris!

DriveThru link here!

A New Class

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a Hubris specific class post.  When I was writing the Klind enemies, I had envisioned an exile type class, but cut it due to the book already being fucking huge and I wanted to move it forward.

Here it is!

The Klind Exile

KlindClassesfinal (1)

Behold the hideous Klind (art by Jeremy Duncan)

Here’s the PDF: The Klind Exile

You hail from the Blighted Sands (Hubris, pg 60) from the Klind Empire.  Your people worship the Serpentine God of Depravity, Set (Hubris, pg 211) and you hail from his lineage.  You are no priest of Set (Hubris, pg 304), but your face is snake-like, your body sculpted and lithe, your long arms end in slender lengthened fingers, almost like spider legs.

You are considered unnatural by your people.  You were born with the ability to use a gift that is not yours, rivaling those of the Sex Prophets or the Flesh Weavers.  You are feared and shunned by your people, hated and persecuted.

You have struggled for years, living in brutal conditions, surviving off the scraps you can find.  Well no more.  You have killed one considered your “better” and stolen their Bio-Organic Armor (Hubris, pg 304) and have left Klind to forge a better life.

Servants of the Empire hunt you, wishing to wipe your existence from the world of Hubris.  You can never stop; you can never rest.  You have no people you can call your own. You are forever alone; forever exiled.

 

 

Hit Points: 1d8

 

Weapon Training: A Klind Exile is trained in the use of bolas*, crossbow, dagger, dart, hand crossbow*, kukri, shortbow, short sword, throwing knives, and spiked chain*. Klind Exiles tend to wear light or no armor as it impedes their ability to invoke passion or weave flesh (see below).  Their bio-organic armor does not affect their roll.
*Weapons in the Hubris campaign setting (see equipment, pg 54).

 

Alignment: The very essence of the Klind and of Set is suffused with chaos.  While you may be exiled from your people, the chaos courses through your veins.

 

Lithe and Agile: Klind are lithe and agile creatures, full of grace and ease.  All Agility-based tests (not attacks) and Reflex saves are rolled one step higher on the die ladder.  Klind Exiles also have the Move Silently and Backstab skill of a Thief (DCC, pg 38) of equal level and alignment.

 

Ample Survivor: A Klind Exile has learned to survive on their wits and ability to be quick with a blade.  When fighting with simple blades (i.e., throwing blades, daggers, and the kukri), the Klind Exile is treated as if they have a 16 in Agility for the purpose of two-weapon fighting (DCC, pg 94).  The Klind is quick to act, when fighting with this type of weapon they add their Luck modifier (if positive) to their Initiative roll).

 

Claws: A Klind retractable razor-sharp claws that deal 1d6 damage. A Klind is never considered unarmed.

 

Abhorrent Creature: You have somehow have been blessed, or cursed, depending on your point of view, with a small amount of ability to use the alluring abilities of the Sex Prophet (Hubris, pg 302) or weave the flesh of others, same as the Klind Flesh Weavers (Hubris, pg 303).  This is seen as an affront to the will of Set and the hierarchy of the Klind themselves.

 

A player makes this choice at first level.  Once made it cannot be undone.

 

The Prophet: A Klind Exile that has the ability of the Prophet can summon forth intense emotions of passion and lust in those around them.  The Klind Exile must roll a 1d20+Personality Modifier+Klind Exile level and consult the able below.

 

Waves of Passion
1 Lost, failure, and gain a haggard, disgusting appearance (i.e., moles, lanky, fragile hair, liver spots, hunched over, etc.) for 24 hours.  All Personality rolls are made two steps lower on the die ladder for the duration.
2-11 Lost.  Failure.
12-13 A touched target must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome with emotions of passion and lust.  They are unable to concentrate and suffer -2 to all attacks and save rolls for 1d3 rounds.  Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration.
14-15 A touched target must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome with emotions of passion and lust.  They are unable to concentrate and make all attacks and save rolls one step lower on the die ladder for 1d6 rounds.  Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration.
16-17 You release a wave of passion and lust in a 5’ radius.  Any in the area must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome by the emotions.  They are unable to concentrate and make all attacks and save rolls one step lower on the die ladder for 1d6 rounds.   Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration.
18-19 You release a wave of passion and lust in a 10’ radius.  Any in the area must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome by the emotions.  They are unable to concentrate and make all attacks and save rolls one step lower on the die ladder for 1d6 rounds.  Each target affected heals you for 1 HP.  You cannot go over your maximum hit points.  Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration.
20-21 You release a wave of passion and lust in a 15’ radius.  Any in the area must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome by the emotions.  They are unable to concentrate and make all attacks and save rolls one step lower on the die ladder for 2d8 rounds.  Each target affected heals you for 1 HP.  You cannot go over your maximum.   Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration and heal you for 2 HP.
22+ You release a wave of passion and lust in a 30’ radius.  Any in the area must succeed a Will save (DC 8+ Klind Exile level) or become overcome by the emotions.  They are unable to concentrate and make all attacks and save rolls one step lower on the die ladder for 2d8 rounds.  Each target affected heals you for 1 HP.  You cannot go over your maximum.   Those that critically fail their save fall to the ground and are helpless for double the duration and heal you for 2 HP.

 

 

The Weaver: A Klind Exile that has the ability of the Weaver is able to manipulate the flesh of others to horrifying effect.   The Klind Exile must roll a 1d20+Personality Modifier+Klind Exile level and consult the able below.

 

Flesh Meld
1 Lost, failure, your flesh melts, taking on a waxy, plagued appearance (as if you’ve been scarred from a bad burn).  You suffer a permanent -1 to Personality for each occurrence.
2-11 Lost.  Failure.
12-13 You can touch a target causing their eyes and mouth to stretch, making it extremely difficult to see or speak.  They suffer -2 to notice rolls, ranged attacks, and persuasion rolls.  This lasts for 1d3 rounds.  The target is allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.
14-15 You can touch a target, causing their flesh to become rubbery and painful, often forming bubbling boils, and hanging off the body. On a failed save the target suffers –3 to all rolls.   This effect lasts for 1d4 rounds.  The target is allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.
16-17 You can cause the flesh of up to two targets in a 10’ radius to become rubbery and painful, often forming bubbling boils, and hanging off the body. On a failed save the target rolls all physical rolls one step lower on the die ladder. This lasts for a number of rounds equal to your level.  The targets are allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.
18-19 You are able to cause the flesh of one target within 15’ to meld together. Their legs fuse together and their hands become large balls of blistered flesh. They must make a DC 12 Agility test or fall prone. Their movement is reduced to 10’. They drop whatever items they are holding and are unable to use their hands. This lasts a number of rounds equal to your level.  The target is allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.
20-21 You are able to cause the flesh of two targets to meld together.  The targets can be no further than 20’ away from you.  Their legs fuse together and their hands become large balls of blistered flesh. They must make a DC 14 Agility test or fall prone. Their movement is reduced to 10’. They drop whatever items they are holding and are unable to use their hands. This lasts for a number of rounds equal to your level.  The targets are allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.
22+ You can touch the target and shape their flesh in minute detail.  You can cause the target’s
eyeballs to seal, nose and mouth to become covered with skin growth, etc. A target can last a number of rounds equal to their Stamina score before needing to make a DC 16 Fort save. A failed save means the target has died from suffocation. The player can come up with other amusing situations and the Judge and the player can discuss the outcome.  This last for a number of rounds equal to your level.  The target is allowed a Fort save (DC 8+Klind Exile’s level) to avoid this.

 

 

Damaged Bio-Organic Armor (Type I): You stole another Klinds bio-organic armor before fleeing your homeland.  In the scuffle to relieve the Klind of their armor, it was damaged and cannot be repaired.  The armor grants +3 to AC, suffers -0 to check penalty and has a d8 Fumble Die.

 

When taking damage, make a Luck roll.  If successful, you ignore 1 point of damage (even magical).  At night when sleeping in your armor, make a Luck roll.  If successful, the armor heals you, restoring 1 HP per hour.  While in the suit you do not need to consume more than 2 cups of water every 8 hours.  You can see in low-light in a 30’ radius, and can breathe in a sandstorm up to 1 hour.

 

Hunted: You are a mistake that should be cleansed from Hubris.  A small detachment of Klind is attempting to track you to bring you back to Klind, so you may be sacrificed on the altar to Set.  Even if you kill the ones after you, you know there will always be more.  This is your curse to bare.

 

 

 

Klind Exile Table
Level Attack Crit Die/Table Action Die Ref Fort Will
1 +0 1d10/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
2 +1 1d12/II 1d20 +1 +1 +0
3 +2 1d14/II 1d20 +2 +1 +1
4 +2 1d16/II 1d20 +2 +2 +1
5 +3 1d20/II 1d20 +3 +2 +1
6 +4 1d24/II 1d20+1d14 +4 +2 +2
7 +4 1d30/II 1d20+1d16 +4 +3 +2
8 +5 1d30+2/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +2
9 +5 1d30+4/II 1d20+1d20 +5 +3 +3
10 +6 D130+6/II 1d20+1d20 +6 +4 +3

 

 

 

Starting Gold
2d12 3d12+500 3d12+2,000

 

 

 

Class Damage

 

This is the damage a Klind Exile does if the group is using the optional damage rules outlined in Hubris, pg 50.

 

Klind Exile Class Damage
Light Medium Heavy
1d4 1d6 1d6

 

 

 

Info on the Klind

 

Taken from Hubris, pg 66.

 

The Klind are a race of humanoids devoted to their serpentine god, Set. They seek to dominate Hubris and bring all into Set’s fold, either through conquest, corruption, or as a suitable sacrifice.
For over 300 years the Klind have schemed, fought, and plagued Hubris. Most people of Hubris have only heard of the Klind whispered as frightening tales, from the safety of their homes or taverns. The true visage of a Klind, armored in their bio-organic suits, with bizarre and dangerous weapons, marching ceaselessly across the territories of Hubris in search of slaves and sacrifices is not something that can be accurately captured in story.
The capital of the empire is built around the Great Ziggurat of Depravity where sacrifices of the pitiful and unworthy are made to satiate the hunger of Set. The Venomous Red Scales are the elite guard to the High Priest of Set. These terrifying warriors police the streets, gather those suitable for sacrifice, and carry out the High Priest’s wishes. While risky and dangerous, outsiders still come to Klind to trade or search for treasures in the Blighted Sands.

 


Death is the New Pink Out Now!!

ditnp_coversketch3

Death is the New Pink was released last week on Drivethru/RPG Now in PDF format (here’s the link)!  The POD version will be coming out soon.  I’m waiting to get approved by OBS for formatting.  Once I get my proof, and if it looks good, I’ll put it up for sale.

Anyone who buys the PDF of DitNP will get an email with a discount to get the POD as if they purchased the bundle.

Here is other things I’ve posted about Death is the New Pink on the blog.

If you’ve purchased DitNP and enjoy it, please feel free to leave a review on Drivethru/RPG Now

Here’s the summary of DitNP

This bizarre, crazed, post-apocalyptic setting uses the fun Into the Odd rules by Chris McDowall and is inspired by Tank Girl, Judge Dredd, the Fallout and Borderlands video game series, and Mad Max.

Players take on the roles of Meat Bags that wander the packed and filthy streets of Scratchtown, or buzz through the wasteland on souped-up hot rods.  Their goal: to find Doodads, obtain materials for trade, or to cause mayhem, death and destruction just for the sake of it.  Meat Bags feel they’ve seen and done it all, so the prospect of death is one of the only exciting “unknown” things left in the world.  Death is the New Pink is brutal, bloody, and chaotic.  Things should be kept fast-paced and it’s more than fine if it doesn’t make sense!  Character death is fairly common and should be embraced; a particularly blood death should be applauded and celebrated!

death-is-the-new-pink-head-shots

Doodads, mutants, bullets, dead bodies, and some booze and pizza are all in a day’s adventure in the Wasted World.

Strap on your ass-kicking boots and grab your big guns, Meat Bag!

It’s time to get your killin’ (or dyin’) on!

Burn rubber and enjoy spreading chaos in the Wasted Worldin this scrappy RPG!

What’s In the Book

hug-life

Death is the New Pink is rules-lite and keeping with the rules designed by Chris McDowall, characters can be made in 2-5 minutes!  There are rules for vehicles, new equipment, rules for Doodads (strange and powerful scientific devices), Muscle Ups! (perks that give special abilities to the Meat Bag), bunches of Nefarios (bad enemies that want to hurt your squishy bits!), info on the expansive city called Scratchtown, an adventure called “A Bloody Romp Through the Catacombs,” and a Point Crawl through the the Wasted Earth near Scratchtown (including map). The book comes in at 90 pages!

 


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth Session Four- Into the Ruins of Santa Mo- Part 2

We continue our Barbarians of the Ruined Earth campaign!

In Part One the group fought some raiders, met some friendly, albeit cautious scavengers at the entrance to the ruins of Santa Mo, and decided to go the the small boomtown, Fang’s Point.

Players

Chad– Medical Robot (named Marko Tron), rides a Giant Snailbadger.  Life Event: Has trouble understanding why humans whine so much, has mouthed off about it and been chased out of several villages. Trinket: World War II army helmet.

JohnBarbarian (named Dagor)- rides on a Giant Snailbear. Life Event: Mother was killed by croc-men when he was a child. Now he fights for the underdog!  Trinket: Silver dagger given by his father.

LiamSorcerer (named Fulgur Tenebris) Crazy Sorcerer appearance- grey skin, grey hair, cat eyes, jagged nails, yellow teeth, body changes color with emotion (50 shades of grey), has a metalic staff with spider web etching. Power manifestation black orbs with grey lightning. Life Event: Family was pushed out of village because of your birth.  Trinket: Golden necklace given to denote remarkable birth.  Rides one of the last Ancient Earth elephants (also has grey skin and yellowing tusks). Rules for Spellcasting here.

Not Present

FletchUrchin class (wasn’t able to play today).  More on this character later.

OmarDeath Priest (named Morg).  Wears totally Gothic stuff and has bone shoulder plates, a bone mace, and a Trump-like demeanor.  He was once the ruler of a village of humans, but was chased out and exiled.

NateVek (Anthropomorphic dinosaur- raptor- pretty feathers. Named Valeran the Vek).  He thinks humans are savages.  Life Event: Father was a brilliant Vek who understood Stupendous Science. Father was eventually killed by a Sorcerer. Trinket: Headdress of bone, wood, and feathers.  Rides a camel.

Gene- Cougar Beastman (called Fanth).  Vicious fighter.  Watched many of his tribe vaporized in front of his eyes by the evil magic of a Sorcerer.

Time to Ruffle Some Feathers

The group made their way towards Fang’s Point, walking for about a mile, with the mounts having difficulty with the terrain (especially the snails).

The group was happily talking to one another, except for Liam, who was trailing behind.  Liam heard the sound of giant wings.  He looked up and saw a grotesque creature flying towards Spaz!  Liam shot a bolt of grey energy from his staff, but his shot went wild.

Monster 1

Probably one of the best pictures of a harpy I’ve ever seen.

Spaz noticed the creature at the last second and dodged out of the way of its talons.  Vog shouted, “Oh no!  It’s Redfeather!”

Initiative was rolled and the group all took a few pot shots at Redfeather, all missing.  Vog pointed his sword at her, “Careful!  She’s cunning!  And she shoots fire!” As he spoke Redfeather’s mouth and throat became bloated and she spewed forth a large ball of fire that hit Grunt.  Grunt dropped to the ground screaming, rolling around to douse the flames.

After a few rounds the group had widdled some HP off of Redfeather.  She opened her mouth and screeched, “My children!  Protect me!”  From behind a building came three smaller, black-feathered, and younger looking Vulturefolk.  Aside: I treated them as 1 HP mooks.

The fight went on a few more rounds and it was pretty vicious.  Liam was dropped Out of Action by one of Redfeather’s fireballs.  Grunt was dropped to Out of Action by an attack from one of the black-feathered hags and John was scooped up in Redfeather’s talons and dropped from 20′ high, taking some damage but wasn’t stunned.

Chad shot his laser pistol and shoulder-mounted laser cannon at Redfeather, blowing off part of her wing, causing her to slam into the ground while John ran over and shoved a healing salve (restores 1 HD of hit points) to Liam.  Redfeather started limping and backing away from Chad, spewing a fireball at the robot.  Chad attempted to punch her in her gross, stupid face, but missed.

Redfeather’s mouth and throat became bloated again as she made ready to shoot another  fireball, but a grey ball of energy slammed into her face and she keeled over dead.  Liam stood, weakened and charred with his staff pointed towards were Redfeather stood.

After the fight, I had the group roll Out of Action (with Disadvantage) for Grunt, but he survived.  Charred, burnt, and crippled- sadly Grunt’s days of exploring and scavenging had come to an end.

Vog lead the weary and battered group the rest of the way to Fang’s Point.  The group was allowed access to this small settlement that seemed to be the remains of an Ancient Earth strip mall promenade.  Netting had been attached to the roofs of the surrounding buildings to create a protective canopy, and after the attack of Redfeather and the other Vulturefolk, it was appearent why.

The group noticed that people either had dead animal pelts on their personage, more often as a cloak, or a circuit-type belt buckle.  John inquired to Vog about this.

“Oh those are symbols to show which block these people show allegiance to at Nukatomi Plaza.  The ones with the animal pelts are from the Feral Block- they identify with spirit animals or some such, and the ones with the gizmos are from the Slums.  Their leader, Tinker Tok, is well… a tinker of Ancient Earth technology, from what I hear.”

Liam, wearily stopped at a small, rickety wooden kiosk with a painted sign, “Potions and Baubles” and asked if she had any healing salves for sale.  The woman stuttered and looked uncomfortable at being in conversation with a Sorcerer, but gave Liam the salve for free as thanks for killing Redfeather.  “Thanks.  Is there a doctor nearby?”

“Why yes there is!  The bonesaw is right over there!”  She points at a structure made of wooden posts and canvas tenting.  Liam stumped in there and found a man with a cybernetic arm, with a saw blade sticking out, cutting into a side of beef.  The man turned around and saw Liam, “Well it isn’t often I get to see a Sorcerer up close- least of all one that is close to death.”

Zed

Zed’s a good guy…  Just gruff!

“Are you the doctor?” Liam asked hesitantly.

“Yup!  Name’s Zed (yeah I totally went to Borderlands here)!  Welcome to Zed’s Butcher Shop!”

Liam twitched, “You’re the butcher and the doctor…?  Ok.” And then he passed out.

John celebrated with Vog and walked around the small settlement.

Chad went to the Junk Shop and haggled with proprietor, Vin, about getting some bags that could be made into saddle bags for his mount.

Sears Shooting Stars Competition 2014

Vin is very serious and doesn’t understand robot humor.

“Welcome to the Junk Shop.”

Chad busted out some “Welcome to the Junk Shop!  We got all your junk and games!”

Vin looked at him and frowned, “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand robot humor…”

The group haggled and finally Vin pulled out three bags he scavenged from a nearby ruined building.  Chad looked at the hideous color, “Is that all you have?”

Vera

These will look GREAT on a giant Bearsnail!

“Yep.  For something big enough to fit on your snail’s shell!”

Chad thanked him for doing business, bought the bags, and left.

We ended here for the night.  

Next Time- Delving Deeper into the Ruins of Santa Mo!


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth Session Four- Into the Ruins of Santa Mo- Part 1

We continue our Barbarians of the Ruined Earth campaign!

Last session we left off with the group setting off to explore the ruins of Santa Mo!

Players

Chad– Medical Robot (named Marko Tron), rides a Giant Snailbadger.  Life Event: Has trouble understanding why humans whine so much, has mouthed off about it and been chased out of several villages. Trinket: World War II army helmet.

JohnBarbarian (named Dagor)- rides on a Giant Snailbear. Life Event: Mother was killed by croc-men when he was a child. Now he fights for the underdog!  Trinket: Silver dagger given by his father.

LiamSorcerer (named Fulgur Tenebris) Crazy Sorcerer appearance- grey skin, grey hair, cat eyes, jagged nails, yellow teeth, body changes color with emotion (50 shades of grey), has a metalic staff with spider web etching. Power manifestation black orbs with grey lightning. Life Event: Family was pushed out of village because of your birth.  Trinket: Golden necklace given to denote remarkable birth.  Rides one of the last Ancient Earth elephants (also has grey skin and yellowing tusks). Rules for Spellcasting here.

 

Not Present

FletchUrchin class (wasn’t able to play today).  More on this character later.

OmarDeath Priest (named Morg).  Wears totally Gothic stuff and has bone shoulder plates, a bone mace, and a Trump-like demeanor.  He was once the ruler of a village of humans, but was chased out and exiled.

NateVek (Anthropomorphic dinosaur- raptor- pretty feathers. Named Valeran the Vek).  He thinks humans are savages.  Life Event: Father was a brilliant Vek who understood Stupendous Science. Father was eventually killed by a Sorcerer. Trinket: Headdress of bone, wood, and feathers.  Rides a camel.

Gene- Cougar Beastman (called Fanth).  Vicious fighter.  Watched many of his tribe vaporized in front of his eyes by the evil magic of a Sorcerer.

Road Rage

The group got on their mounts (Chad on a Badgersnail, John on a Bearsnail. and Liam on an elephant) and set off to the ruins of Santa Mo.

The group reached the top of a hill on the Ancient Earth Route 66 and the ruins of Santa Mo came into view, sprawling before them as well as the massive, beautiful body of water calle d the “Oshan.”

As the group took a moment to look at the view, Liam and Chad heard the rumbling of an engine coming their way.  Chad immediately moved his badgersnail off the road and took cover behind the remnants of a wall.  Liam summoned a sand storm on the road (depleting his magic for the day already- ouch!) to block their view and hinder whomever was coming.  John was overcome by the sight of the Oshan and just kept exclaiming about it, even after the sandstorm manifested before his eyes.

A broken-down, rustbucket truck pulled into view with four men wearing leather pant, boots, and black suspenders.  They exclaimed at the wall of sand and started looking around.  John, suddenly realizing what was happening moved himself and his mount towards Chad.  The raiders then became aware of the situation as Chad fired his laser pistol at one, killing him.

Two raiders charged at Chad and John while the other charged at Liam.   The two made it to John and Chad and John gutted the one on him and Chad missed the one attacking him.

Flaming Bandit

The raider running towards Liam smashed a lantern on his head and went up in flames, giggling gleefully.  He jumped onto Liam’s leg (who was still on his elephant mount) and started burning Liam, “Join me… in the flames!” they crazed raider exclaimed as his face started popping, melting, and hissing.

The next round Chad managed to punch the one on him (for a whopping 1 damage).  The raider said, “ooooowwww.  That hurt.”  The raider looked at his fallen comrade laying at John’s feet and saw the burnt charred one on Liam scream out in a final gasp of pain and fall to the ground like a charred rodent.  “Uuumm..  Hi!  Welcome to the ruins of Santa Mo!  I’ll be your tour guide this evening!”

Chad (who we are now calling Binary, as it’s easier than saying 100101 each time) hoisted the raider up by the leg and shook him like a rag doll (he critically succeeded his Strength check).  “Tell me about the area and maybe I’ll let you live!”

I had Chad roll a d6 (he got a 3) to determine how much info the raider would know/spill.   The raider informed them of a group of scavengers that watches the entrance to the ruins as well as the small settlement Fang’s Point.  “It’s a bunch of people from that tower, Nukatomi Plaza!  They’re from the Slums and Feral blocks!”  He described a dilapidated building which the humans at Feral’s Point tried to expand to, but ran into trouble and had to abandon it.  The raider described a new base at the water’s edge, called Pirate’s Point, “I haven’t been there!  But I hear it’s a rough crowd!  And… they have vehicles that travel on the water!  Can- can  you IMAGINE such a thing!?” the raider said, laughing hysterically even while hoisted upside down.  Finally, he mentioned tales of a Sorcerer by the name of Scarfious wandering the ruins- vile temperament and powerfully magical.  “That’s all I know!  I swear!”

Chad dropped him, then drug him over to his mount and tied him up over the back of his mount’s shell.  “Awww man!  Come on!  This- this is embarrassing!  What are the other guys gonna say when they see me like this!”

The group headed down to the ruins and slowly entered what clearly was a main thoroughfare in the golden days of Ancient Earth.  John took point and noticed two guns pointed at him from opposite sides of the street.  A booming voice rang out, “Who are you and why do you enter the ruins of Santa Mo?”

“For Adventure!” Shouted John.

“For shits and giggles!” Shouted Chad.

“Because I want to…” murmured Liam.

A powerfully built barbarian stepped out from behind a doorway.  “I was unaware that robots shitted or giggled.” he said pondering.  “I am Vog.  Leader of this band.  Why do you bring a Sorcerer into our home?  We do not trust his kind.”

 

Vog

Vog the Barbarian

“We trust him.”  Said John.

After a few moments and a few more words were exchanged, Vog told his group to stand down.  A 15 year old female Urchin and an old man (think of Shaggy if he was 62 and had twitchy eyes) each came out of buildings on either side of the group, both carrying crude-looking rifles.  Vog introduced the girl as Spaz and the man as Knut (pronounce “nut”).  Coming out from a building in front was a grizzled man who grunted at the group.  “And this is Grunt.  He doesn’t speak much seeing as how raiders cut out his tongue and ate it in front of him.”

The group set off toward’s Fang’s Point.

To be continued in Part Two!

 


Barbarians of the Ruined Earth Session Three- Heavy Metal Christmas Sleigh

We continue our Barbarians of the Ruined Earth campaign!

Last session we left off with the group getting ready to face off the vile witch, Grenzel and her cult, The Cabal of Shadows.

Witch

Again- not for BotRE, but I LOVE Matthew Adams art!

Players

Chad– Medical Robot (named Marko Tron), rides a Giant Snailbadger.  Life Event: Has trouble understanding why humans whine so much, has mouthed off about it and been chased out of several villages. Trinket: World War II army helmet.

JohnBarbarian (named Dagor)- rides on a Giant Snailbear. Life Event: Mother was killed by croc-men when he was a child. Now he fights for the underdog!  Trinket: Silver dagger given by his father.

LiamSorcerer (named Fulgur Tenebris) Crazy Sorcerer appearance- grey skin, grey hair, cat eyes, jagged nails, yellow teeth, body changes color with emotion (50 shades of grey), has a metalic staff with spider web etching. Power manifestation black orbs with grey lightning. Life Event: Family was pushed out of village because of your birth.  Trinket: Golden necklace given to denote remarkable birth.  Rides one of the last Ancient Earth elephants (also has grey skin and yellowing tusks). Rules for Spellcasting here.

NateVek (Anthropomorphic dinosaur- raptor- pretty feathers. Named Valeran the Vek).  He thinks humans are savages.  Life Event: Father was a brilliant Vek who understood Stupendous Science. Father was eventually killed by a Sorcerer. Trinket: Headdress of bone, wood, and feathers.  Rides a camel.

 

Gene- Cougar Beastman (called Fanth).  Vicious fighter.  Watched many of his tribe vaporized in front of his eyes by the evil magic of a Sorcerer.

Not Present

FletchUrchin class (wasn’t able to play today).  More on this character later.

OmarDeath Priest (named Morg).  Wears totally Gothic stuff and has bone shoulder plates, a bone mace, and a Trump-like demeanor.  He was once the ruler of a village of humans, but was chased out and exiled.

Battle Royale!

Grenzel arrived riding through the air on a Christmas sleigh that had rockets attached to the side.  Flying around her were three robots.  Each had a blue glowing orb on their head which shot an energy beam at Grenzel, encasing her in a force field.

Initiative was rolled with Grenzel winning- and firing a rocket at a group of fleeing NPC villagers from Route 66, killing them off.  All the players either readied attacks, or shot ranged weapons at Grenzel, but when their attacks were deflected by the fore field they set their sights on the robots.

The next round three Ancient Earth pick up trucks came over the hill, each carrying cultists, towards the group.  The trucks came to a screeching halt and three cultists carrying maces and car door shields, two carrying halberds, and a cultist in elaborate robes with a white metallic halberd with a wicked looking blade on one end and a glowing blue light on the other ran towards the group, while three others pulled bows and went behind the trucks for cover.

Liam used the alternate casting rules to great effect and ignited the gas tank of one of the trucks, causing all three to explode, killing all three cultist archers before they could even fire an arrow.

John and Gene and a few NPCs engaged with the cultists while Chad and Nate took pot shots at the robots.

I rolled randomly for who Grenzel attacked, sometime it was just firing a rocket into the village of Route 66 itself, other times at the escaping villagers, and other times a laser bolt to sizzle one of the PCs.

John left the cultists to Gene while he went after the cultist leader with the killer looking halberd.  The fight was hard and John took a few hits from the blade and a couple shots from the glowing blue light  (apparently that end could fire lasers).  Eventually John gutted him and grabbed the Stupendous Device (called the Staff of Deliverance) for himself.

Eventually John and Gene killed all the cultists and there was only one remaining robot that Liam, Nate, and Chad were having a hell of a time hitting.  Liam summoned a floating disk from thin air (his could use his movement action to control it) and had Gene hop on and rose him in the air to smash the robot in the fucking face!

With all three robots destroyed the force field collapsed and the group set to work beating the living hell out out Grenzel.  First Gene attacking the Christmas sleigh itself to bring it to the group.

Gene stabbed his claws into the sleigh’s control panel, causing it to spin out of control and crash hard into the ground.  Grenzel stumbled out and began flinging spells at the band of heroes.  The group pummeled her with blade, spell, staff, laser beam, and claw.  She eventually fell beneath their onslaught.

She whispered a gurgled warning, “This is only the beginning” as she melted into a puddle of black goo.  After a few moments the goo evaporated by left the Cabal of Shadows mark etched into the earth.

 

Cabal of Shadows

Found this on the internet- decided it was the Cabal of Shadows symbol

With Grenzel death, the village went to work of burying yet more dead because of the witch (the first session started with robots controlled by the witch attacking Route 66).  While there was some celebration, it was somber; the victory came at a high price.

Over the next couple of days the group healed, talked with the important NPCs of Route 66, and bartered for some goods.  Chad installed a shoulder cannon he salvaged from the enemy robots on himself and Gene decided to accompany the group on their journeys.

A caravan from Nukatomi Plaza, led by the gruff Oog (brother to Ursula of the Yellow, who owns the Broken Motor Tavern).  The group bartered for some goods he brought from the human kingdom and pried Oog for information about the area.  He spoke of the Technodabbler’s Circuitry Tower to the north (a Sorcerer) and villages of snakemen and mutated winged men to the east.

Of most interest to the group was the ruins of Santa Mo (Santa Monica) to the West.  Oog said he was waiting for a group of scavengers to come from Fang’s Point (an outpost in the ruins) with goods to bring back to Nukatomi.

The group decided the would go into these ruins themselves and attempt to find some scrap to sell (their pockets were rather light of ceramic coins).

We ended the session here.  It was a fun session and the battle took up most of it- but it was a great time and they had a blast fighting on multiple fronts.  

Next time- Into the Ruins of Santa Mo!