Oh God.. What’s in This Bag?! and Random Effects of a Monster Attack! Tables

I created these tables and for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell for.  I’ve used both of them and it was fun to see the horror of my players faces.

The bag table I like because I’m tired of Goblins, Orcs, and Bugbears having normal shit….  I mean they can have that too, but I want really nasty stuff in there bags as well..

Oh God What is In This Bag

1- The Eyeballs of a Peeping Tom- When put in person’s mouth they can see through walls.  Lasts for 1d6 rounds before shriveling and dissolving.

2- Severed Head that must be placed on hand like a puppet.  When used in this fashion the head is able to talk and discern lies told to it.

3- Intestines of a Bloated Pig Demon- Can be used as high quality rope.  The stomach functions as a grappling hook.

4- Convulsing Sphincter Muscle of an Ox- Can be used as manacles.  Highly resistant to damage.

5- The Belly Buttons of Ten Slaughtered Virgins- When placed on the hands acts as small suction cups and aids in climbing.

6- A Vial of a Child’s Tears- Refreshingly invigorating to good chaps and horribly toxic to naught blokes.

7- Ulcerated Stomach of the Three Pronged Goat- Stomach is used as a bag that can hold items.  Problem is there is also a lot of random junk in there as well that just gets in the way..  Some of it is just plain weird.

8- Kidney Stones of Prisoners- Works as caltrops…  or daily rations.

9- Bladder of a Badger- Always full..  Always warm.  Can drink to avoid dehydration, but will become ill.

10- Face of a Scorned Lover- With this in hand a person can “rip off” their own face and wear this flesh and become a beautiful woman.   Charisma bonuses, voluptuousness, and attitude abound!  You are flooded with emotions and memories that are not your own and they are often acute and painful!  You can only take her face off when committing the act she was doing when she died….

And now….

Random Effects of Monster’s Attack on Your Personage

1- You jabber like an idiot unable to form complete sentences for 1d4 hours.

2- Pustules form all over your body, incredibly painful.  When popped an acidic substance oozes out that can be used as a weapon (1d4 damage).

3- You sprout a strange body part where the attack landed 1) Eye; 2) Mouth; 3) Nose; 4) Appendage; 5) External superfluous organ; 6) Ear.

4- Skin calcifies and becomes hardened, extremely painful.  Crumbles and chips with excessive movement.

5- The area around the wound liquefies and spills onto the ground, causing a slippery mess.  All in area must make a dexterity based save or fall prone.

6- The wound develops into a cyst that grows and becomes extremely painful over 1d10 days.  At the end of the incubation period the cyst erupts and miniature and deformed version of the character bursts forth.

7- The characters veins become a pale white color.  Their veins are now phosphorescent.  -4 to all stealth and hiding based checks.

8- The wound heals after one day (as does all damage from that particular attack- if not healed already)- after 1d4 days sharp pain wracks the character.  Looking at the wound something is crawling underneath the skin.  It must be cut out- 1) Centipedes; 2) Spiders; 3) Flies; 4) Maggots; 5) Earwigs; 7)Cockroaches; 8) Beetles.

9- The wound takes on a strange floral scent.  Bees are attracted to it and constantly attempt to build a hive in the wound.

10- The wound starts vomiting.  Yes vomiting.

Author: wrathofzombie

I am a History major attending a community college until I can get more financial aid and attend a four year school. I am living in NJ with my girlfriend who is currently wrapping up on obtaining her PhD in Toxicology. I love Star Wars, Role-playing, video games, working out, reading, writing, and hanging with my girlfriend, dog (Perfect), and two kittens (Birch and Brambles). My main focus on this site will be my discussion of Role-playing games and ideas and hopefully contribute something worth a damn.

7 thoughts

    1. Lol. Yeah.. I don’t know what I was fucking channeling when I was creating both of these tables, except pure awesome psychotic WTFpie.

      There’s just a large part of me that things people should be REALLY scared of looking through the bag of a monster.. I get it having treasure and stuff (to give rewards and gratification to the players), but that treasure should sometimes be just as horrific (or worse) than the creature itself.

  1. More charts to roll by. Of course, you could throw in a third chart, “What spells these things could be used as components for”. Wizard, “Wait, I might need that belly button for a spell!”

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