Insta… Religion?!

I’m a huge fan of die drop charts.  (I learned about the idea from Zak S.)  They are fun, easy, and allow for quick ideas when at the game table.

Last night I got the brainwave that it would be fun to create a die drop table for crazy mad-ass evil cults.

So here it is..  Just drop your d4, d6, d8, d10, d10 (%), d12, and d20 and see what it comes up with!  If you want more fucked up gods, take all the boxes that are around the die (if it falls on a line).  Otherwise you can just choose one of the boxes the die is touching.

Click to enlarge

Instareligion 1

Instareligion Chart

 

D4- Holiday

1)      On the night of the blood moon pigs are slaughtered and their intestines are worn as necklaces.  Their eyes are gouged out and used as party favors.  Gallons of blood are consumed and fortunes are read in the vomit that flows afterwards.

2)      Poisonous snakes are swallowed.  Those who survive the night are truly blessed and the fortunes of the dead are divided up.

3)      People pour multicolored powder on themselves, while inhaling copious amounts of a psychotropic drug.  They dance to the beats of a man playing drums with no arms, while chanting strange haunting melodies.

4)      Swarms of insects are letting out in the countryside, hopefully causing pestilence and famine for the local communities.

D6- Alter

1)      Intricately carved statue of woman lying on her back, head arched, looking towards ground.  Liquid pours out of her silently screaming mouth.

2)      Table a slab of obsidian.  Four legs are petrified humans on all fours.

3)      Giant brain-like thing with a mass of writhing tentacles.

4)      Made of stitched together live puppies that yipe and yowl.

5)      Marble intricately carved snakes that seem to move and slither on alter.

6)      Made of pulsating mounds of flesh with oozing pustules and maggots.

D8- Blessing/Curse

1)      Blessing- Believers are granted immunity to physical damage.

2)      Curse- Non-believer!  Make a Con save or watch muscles atrophy and shrivel.  Lose 1d8 Strength permanently.

3)      Blessing- Vistas on Intelligence!  Gain 2d8 Intelligence points, but lose 1d10 Wisdom due to the dark whisperings of your god.

4)      Curse- Death!  The next time you roll a 1, you are squashed, disemboweled, and consumed.

5)      Blessing- Grants one Limited Wish

6)      Curse- Grants one Limited Wish- Opposite happens

7)      Blessing- Gain an Imp Familiar (even if not a Wizard) and all benefits therein.

8)      Curse- Malignant growth- Leg or arm swells or hunchback. Reduce Dexterity by 4 permanently.

D10- Followers

1)      All are naked during worship, showing brands of their god in their armpits.

2)      All followers wear black cloaks with hoods that have eye slits.  A red sash is tied around their waist.

3)      Worshipers wear porcelain masks that display expressions of agony or pleasure.

4)      Members engage in an orgy while small minor demons chant, increasing emotional turmoil.

5)      All followers must drink the curdled breast milk of the ancient den mother who resides in the temple.

6)      All followers allow a black maggot to crawl into their pupil.  This allows them all to communicate telepathically.

7)      All followers become linked with a minor imp that they are able to summon when in trouble.  Both become stronger due to the symbiosis, but should either be killed, the other dies.

8)      All followers drink the “blood” of their god and gain one of its rare characteristics.

9)      All followers were extravagantly crafted gowns of rare feathers.  The inside is lined with small needles that poke the skin, just enough to draw blood and hurt.

10)  All followers are able to talk to frogs, lizards, and snakes and get them to do their bidding.

 

D10 (%)- Temple

1)      White drapes soaked in blood and yak milk line the Mosaic tiled walls.

2)      Stuffed birds that have been beaten with sticks must be kissed when entering the temple.

3)      The temple is constructed of skeletons of the sacrificed with their mummified human flesh that is draped across to provide cover.

4)      The temple is constructed a thousand reanimated legs that that are able to move the building where the High Priest desires.

5)      The ripped off faces of the dead line the walls, stretched by chains.  Moaning, gibbering, and begging echo from their unmoving mouths.

6)      White marble, pristine on the outside.  Inside everything is rotten, molded, and upside down.

7)      The temple is located in the bloated corpse of a Purple Worm.  Those that are eaten by the giant mire maggots are considered weak and deserved to be culled.

8)      The temple is built in a bog, made of boards, planks, and sticks.  The whole temple floats on top of drowned and bloated bodies.

9)      Temple is in an upside down pyramid, made of jade, opal, and obsidian.

10)  Located inside a broom closet that is actually a door to a pocket dimension.

D12- Cult Leader

1)      High Priest Byron the Deformed (Cleric lvl 1d6)

2)      Dahlia the Wretched (Fighter lvl 2d4)

3)      Quintas La’Herp (Rogue lvl 1d4)

4)      Cremble the Vile (Wizard lvl 2d6)

5)      Mal Versabon (Cleric lvl 2d4)

6)      Vengeful Valentina (Sorcerer lvl 1d6)

7)      Mad Nostros (Cleric lvl 2d6)

8)      Grumph the Pauper (Fighter lvl 1d4)

9)      Yelsa the Braggard (Rogue lvl 2d4)

10)  Thomas Montaran (Rogue lvl 1d6)

11)  Russka the Terrible (Sorcerer lvl 1d6)

12)  Wendel the Black (Cleric lvl 2d4)

D20- God Of…

1)      God of Deformity, Pestilence, and Fear

2)      God of Sorrow, Decay, and Destruction

3)      Goddess of Horror, Malignancy, and Impotence

4)      God of the Never-Ending Kaleidoscope Nightmare

5)      God of the Consumed Souls of End Times

6)      God of Left Handed Compliments, Anger, and Betrayal

7)      Goddess of Purpose, Drive, and Ambition

8)      The Mal-Aligned Visitor of Perpetual Madness

9)      Overseer of the Gates of Wrath and Joy

10)  The God of the Terrible Truth and Corruption

11)  The Interchangeable God of Inevitability and Patience

12)  Frugal Giver of Peace; Taker of All

13)  Goddess of Crushing Woe, Elated Happiness, and Jagged Despair

14)  The Host of the Vision of the Future

15)  Captivator of Precious Minds and Consumer of Consciousness

16)  Placated God of the Obliterated Void

17)  Goddess of the Crumbling Throne of Disease

18)  The Bringer of Night, Eclipse, and Sleep

19)  Goddess of Blighted Dreams and Regret

20)  The Deserter of Inner Dimensions

Example:

Mu’Nra-  Goddess of Blighted Dreams and Regret has a thousand eyes of fire that light up her fetid and rotten bird shaped head.  Her ethereal body of crystal is covered in biting and piercing insects.  

Her High Priest, La’Herp (Rogue lvl 4), leads prayer and worship in her holy temple, which is located in the bloated corpse of a Purple Worm.  Those that are eaten by the giant mire maggots are considered weak and deserved to be culled. 

All true believers are able to talk to frogs, lizards, and snakes and get them to do their bidding.

Those who make a sufficient offering at her alter, a giant brain-like thing with a mass of writhing tentacles, is granted one small wish.  

On the eve of her birth, the night of the blood moon, pigs are slaughtered and their intestines are worn as necklaces.  Their eyes are gouged out and used as party favors.  Gallons of blood are consumed and fortunes are read in the vomit that flows afterwards.

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About wrathofzombie

I am a History major attending a community college until I can get more financial aid and attend a four year school. I am living in NJ with my girlfriend who is currently wrapping up on obtaining her PhD in Toxicology. I love Star Wars, Role-playing, video games, working out, reading, writing, and hanging with my girlfriend, dog (Perfect), and two kittens (Birch and Brambles). My main focus on this site will be my discussion of Role-playing games and ideas and hopefully contribute something worth a damn. View all posts by wrathofzombie

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